Terry, Kevin, and the Shoreview Park Cat Cult
From The Extended Group
Terry, Kevin and the Shoreview Park Cat Cult refers to an incident experienced by Terry and Kevin in the Summer of 2005. The event is especially noted for its many tragic variables.
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The Plan
The evening began with a typical AIM correspondence, as Terry and Kevin planned the makings of a late hangout one warm July night. In addition, the two were exchanging scary stories in an effort to frighten each other. Naturally, the idea came forth that the two should seek out a potentially dangerous scenario for the sake of adventure, in the vein of the Western State Hospital Ghost Hunt. After some discussion, Kevin relayed a story told to him by his dad a few days earlier, where one night the latter witnessed a circle of people holding lit candles and whispering incantations as he walked the dog at Boeing Creek. It was shortly thereafter decided that such an organization could present a threat to the peace of Shoreline and must be confronted. As the two met at Terry's house, feelings of fear were soon replaced with a shared rush of adrenaline and machismo. Donning all-black jumpsuits (including beanies and hoods meant to take the place of ski-masks), an effort was then made to procure weaponry. Kevin brought a World War II era bayonet and a bowie knife from his dad's collection, while all that could be found at Terry's house were croquet sticks, theorized to do considerable damage at close range were a battle to ensue. Entering Terry's Subaru, these Sons of Shoreline set forth with every intent to disrupt the seemingly malevolent rituals of this bizarre group, and put the hearts of the town's residents at ease.
The Failures
As the pair made their way up Richmond Beach Road, their bravado began to sharply decline. It soon became evident that the amount of planning and coordination required for such a procedure was not undertaken. After some debate, the foolhardy decision was made to park the car opposite the fence on the right side of Jeremy's house. What followed were a series of almost slapstick-calibre mistakes. First, the decision was made to leave behind the knives brought with, weapons that would prove incriminating in cop-saturated Shoreline. After placing the blades beneath the carseats, the two grabbed their croquet sticks and slammed the doors shut as quietly as possible, fearing the noise would awake nearby residents. Making matters worse, Terry's car alarm was activated, as loud beeps echoed across NW 180th St. The two men then made their way to Shoreview Park, taking the conspicuous route of 6th Ave NW. Clutching batons and clad in black, they nonchalantly jaunted down the lit street to the park's front entrance. With few details from his dad's dubious report remembered, Kevin eventually pointed the two in the direction of the leftward trail, which offered better visibility and less exposure to potential onlookers. Eventually they made their way to a path leading into the creek, whose stairs had eroded significantly. Tentative to take the first step down, the two exchanged roles cowering behind one another for several minutes. Exaggerated yells were made into the dark, at first without response. After a number of attempts, the two would pause after each "hearing something" that couldn't be confirmed by either. This was then reciprocated by a high-pitched, vaguely animal-sounding scream which caused the two to bolt for the park's entrance. Because of their poor navigation going in, Terry and Kevin were forced to circumvent the winding rightward path which led them to a barrier that they both jumped, up towards the hill they came down. Not only were they again in plain sight of residents and drivers, but their fear propelled them up the steep hill in a state of exhaustion. Halfway up, they decided to walk, excitedly sharing the account between gasps of air and nearly in sight of the apparent safety of Terry's vehicle. Happening upon the car, however, the two could clearly see a Shoreline police car parked in front of Terry's Subaru, and another car approaching from behind. On impulse, Terry immediately threw his croquet stick to the side and walked to meet the officer. An awkward conversation then ensued as the skeptical officer asked what the two were doing at 3am, "dressed like ninjas" and making noise in the neighborhood. Kevin, still holding his croquet stick, asserted that the two were taking a brisk jog around the park, using the sticks to clear brush away from their path. After the second officer approached, Terry relented, telling the officers "Fine, you really want to know what we were up to?", to which the officer sarcastically replied "No, I want you to lie to me". The two then explained the unbelievable tale about the mystery coven and the cat-like scream they had heard, as the officers playfully scoffed. It was then obvious that the officers would be willing to let the two go so long as a confession of stupidity were made, and a promise not to disrupt the neighborhood again (see Cops being Jerks). Heads hanging low, the two returned to the car and made their way home, their operation a complete failure.
Aftermath
Despite their lack of preparation, their inability to cover their tracks and the foolish nature of the plans to begin with, the fates spared the two from devastating circumstances that night. Although irrational behavior had compelled them to act in the first place, a flash of logic spurred them to abandon the knives for the comical croquet sticks. Also, the absence of ski-masks undoubtedly aided them in convincing the officers that these were men clearly incapable of any malicious deed. However, some questions were left unanswered at the end of the night. Who alerted the police to begin with? Who, or what was responsible for the vocalizations heard? While no answers can yet be discerned, the incident ultimately only helped feed into the mystique of this so-called "Cat cult" and the quench for further adventure yet to be recorded in the canon of Group Folklore.
