Chuck Norris
From Sotf Wiki
Character Biography
Name: Chuck Ass Kicking Everest Mountain Horse Stallion Norris.
Age: 4,367
School: Top Secret Ninja Ass Kicking School
Extra Curricular Activities: Beating the shit out of Conan OBrian, Roundhouse Kicks, eating 72 oz steaks.
Appearance: Anyone who has seen the face of Chuck Norris clearly has died. There is no known record of what he truly looks like, but it is rumored that he has a beard. And women throw themselves at him, because, as they say, Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse, horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Biography: Somewhere between strife and malice, An entity was created. Justice formed him, Self-Control honed his skills, and Chivalry tought him how to be curteous to women. He was taken under Pride's wing and shown the way of the Texas Ranger. Upon birth, Chuck Norris punched out of his virgin mothers womb and proceeded to roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. He then went back in time and saved Abraham Lincoln from his certian death at the hands of angry white plantation owners, only to see him murdered at the movie theatre two days later. Chuck went into a deep depression, and began traveling the path of hard drugs. After living on the streets of Munising, Iowa for 11 years, a chance encounter with Emelio Estaban set his life back on the right track. Emelio told him that he had never seen a man do so much coke in his life, and Chuck remembered his roots, and that he was brought to earth for a reason. Ass Kicking. Since then, He has been making evil doers pay in every time and every place. If you ever cannot see chuck norris, he can see you. If you cannot hear him, he can hear you. If you can see him, you will die.
Other: Chuck Norris can and will kill everyone. It is written, The lord will send his angel, he of the beard, to destroy all evil doers and send the world back into a state of peace. 2nd Maccabees 22:12. Enough said.
Facts about Chuck
Chuck was another creation formed in a drunken stupor. Of course, he was denied, because the fact is, Chuck Norris is just way too cool for SOTF.
