Valentine's Day

From Richiepedia

Richie has always spent Valentine's Day alone.

Last year he bucked the trend and had a date with a bottle of vodka.

Valetine's Day 2006, however, will go down in history as a truly legendary night.

Richie got off his arse, met mates in the pub, and drunkenly hit the "Anti-Valentine's" LCR.

While there he enjoyed the company of a nice young lady. Most the night passed in a blur, and soon it was home time. Ever the gentlemen, Richie walked another nice young lady back to her residence, where he soon realised he was lost. In a moment of drunken logic, climbing the perimeter fence/hedge seemed to be the quickest route home. Unfortunately Richie grasped the wire fence as he prepared to leap over, and suddenly realised, to his slight dismay, that it was in fact a barb wire fence and his hand now had a large piece of rusty metal in it, leaving it bleeding, cut up, and looking generally a mess.

In a moment of panic, he ran to Tesco and bought crisps. Then he staggered into hospital, where the nurse cleaned and bandaged him up. In the weeks that followed Richie could not use much of his right hand, and many everyday tasks became a major chore. Most upsettingly, he was unable to pleasure himself, and is still looking for a woman to aid him.