Ian and the Train Incident
From Pirate Bitch
The 'Ian and the Train Incident' is a bygone myth passed down through generations that is actually rather true. It is the shameful and seedy past of indie mogul Ian Pay. In his younger years, Ian travelled to his local education centre on what is known as a train or locomotives, this was the age of the swingy doors and dirty filthy toilets. He was dating a Dennis the Menace lookalike (or at least she had his jumper) called Jackie, not much is known about her other than she is rather whoreish and didn't wear much in the department of clothing. Her mega slutness is probably what attracted Ian, who was now in the depths of depraved alcohol abuse.
One day, after spending many hours in eachother......'s arms, the pair decided they should maybe go back to Ian's house, deciding to take public transport and use the trusty train with its doors that do swing (just like Ian). They got a bit frisky in the arches of the station, touching this and that, but when Ian whispered 'I want you now', the train pulled up. Not being one to miss a train they jumped aboard, but they were still ignited with the flames of sweaty passion. Looking for the nearest place they could possibly love eachother up, they scrambled into the train toilet, giggling and locked the door. Nobody knows what happened next, other than the fact that Ian didn't get off at his home town of Rainham, but infact Newington, which is a few stops down that line. Some say he loved her silly in that skanky toilet, some say he couldn't get it up and cried for many a stop, some say he wasn't even with Jackie and was just loving himself, others fail to believe Ian would ever do such a thing.
However, listen close friends, it is all true and the mere mention of it to him involves him going red of hiding beside his sexy hat. Current lover Roof Warner gets very cross at the thoughts of it, although other sources say it makes her horny. But, do be gentle, we all get horny sometimes. Nathan did.... but that's another incident.
