David Latto

From Pirate Bitch

David Latto was born in communist Russia, and was posed for several photos with Stalin as an infant, leading him to believe Stalin was his father. his real father was a peasant who lost his farm in the purges, Andreas Forbeschk. His mother was a milkmaid called Boris.

David Latto has starred in many types of media text, such as film, television, newspapers and pornographical magazines. He is reknowned for his ample chin and for being a "sub-standard Tuffield" (G. Kirk, Gay and Proud Magazine interview, March 2002).

His most famous role was in Toy Story as Buzz Lightyear. He was replaced in the sequel, Toy Story 2: The Apocolypse, by Horatio Apple.

He recently painted a portrait of Jamie Tuffield. Jamie liked the painting so much he bid £4.27 and a button for it. This was incidently the exact amount he recieved when he sold his parsnip on eBay. He was, however, outbid at the last minute by a mystery bidder who wanted to arouse himself using the giant picture of Tuffield. A court order prevents us from saying who the mystery benefactor was, so he is known as N Page, or alternatively as Nathan P.

David Latto is in love with a girl called Becca Hobgoblyn.