Alice

From Pirate Bitch

Alice is a girl, possibly, and was once an attendee of Chatham Grammar School for Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals and Transgenders.

She is mostly known for being lusted after by famed fool Nathan Page.

He once brought her a bunch of flowers, but was turned away, because he found the flowers in a skip. However, this was the same skip he found his tramp coat in. After being turned down by Alice, Nathan moved his interests on to various other men and women, and on one occasion, a duck.

Alice also dated a severely orange man named Dan Strap-on-ford. He had been tango'ed.

Director of Pornography Garald S Kirk now has love interests in her. "I took her in the Frozen ailse at the Co-op!" he boasted.