CGSGLBT School Buildings

From Pirate Bitch

Revision as of 13:47, 31 August 2006

A Comprehensive List of all the Building in Chatham Grammar School for Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals and Transgenders

A-Block - The Alice Block was a block dedicated to Alice, who famously made Nathan Page cry, which provided a whole afternoon of humourous mocking. The block is used to teach people to mock Nathan. It is an important part of the school for nathan as it the place where he touched his first girl.

B-Block - The Bertie the Bus Block was a block where in-depth studies took place, including bus-based experiments, analytical essays about buses, and large diagrams of their effect on Nathan Page's parsnip. It later burnt down during the incident of 1996.

C-Block - The Computer Block only housed one computer, which was a bit smaller than Nathan Page, but far bigger than Jupiter. Students took it in turn to play on Pong, until one day someone stole the mouse, and the room has been cordoned off ever since. The mouse was found in 1979, in Nathan Page's vast lunchbox.

D-Block - The D-Block, or Deanosaur Macaulalalay block. Perhaps better known as the stables. This is where the horses of CGSGLBT are both kept and abused.

E-Block - The Exploding Pigeons Block contained a memorial to the Pigeon that had exploded and killed people that noone liked.

F-Block - The Fat Block was similar to the N-Block, but was where fat people were herded to be beaten and placed in a battery farm, and fed on Monster Munch until they were plump enough to be cooked. In 1993, a survey found that more people had eaten a Chatham Grammar School for Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals and Transgenders fat person at Christmas dinner than those who had eaten a turkey. This block crumbled into ruin in the firey rages in 1996.

G-Block - This is the Groin Inspection Block. Here, pupils were treated for groin-related groping and injuries caused by a randy Nathan Page.

H-Block The Haji-UNIT-memashite block was where Japanese was taught and the Garald S Kirk show "Takeshi's Castle" was filmed. It was crushed under the S-Block during the horrific incident of '96.

I-Block - The Invisible Block was concluded to have been a "Bad Idea". Once the building was completed, it was never seen again, although Turner Page is believed to have walked into it, as he was found unconcious on the ground one day.

J-Block - The Jail Block was a block used to hold convicts, rapists, murderers, and pupils on detention. It was also used as a lunch hall.

K-Block - The Kenneth Brocket Block ws opened in 1967 but was a complete failure. There was a test to see if students were worthy of entering the K Block, however only students named Kenneth Brocket (or Brockett) were allowed to take this test. In the last 40 odd years, there have only been two applicants, both of which failed.

L-Block - The Lemon Block had a slight lemony tang to it. It was a complete waste of time and resources. Zebediah Zane commented: "I think it should be renamed the Lime Block, actually".

M-Block - The Monster Munch Block was where they made Monster Munch. Student's were occasionally thrown into the machinery. Nathan Page spent many of his school days here, usually naked.

N-Block - The Nathan Page Block was not really a block, but more of a storage room area where fat people gathered to praise their hero, Nathan Page. How so many fatties fitted into the room, noone knows, but a space vortex was likely used. They were found out by Anti-Fatists, who regularly invaded the meetings of this Fat Club, to beat them good. After the incident of 1996, where most students were killed, the fatties were the only survivors, because they were kept safe in this room. Nathan's son, Paige Page, is now the leader of the Nathan Page Society of Fat Blobs, and they meet every Wednesday in the N-Block.

O-Block - The Orange Block was the only place in the school that you could get yourself a tango'd tan. Dan Strap-on-ford spent too long in here, and was turned permanently orange.

P-Block - The Pirate Block taught the much loved subject of Piracy. The teacher was famed famous man, Mr. Zane. Student were taught the proper way to wear an eye-patch, balance a parrot, and go "Yaargh". When Zane left the school in 1996, the block fell down onto the Q-Block.

Q-Block - The Quantum Mathematics Block fell into disrepair after no student managed to understand. It was used as a firing-ground where teacher regularly practised shooting fat children. In the infamous incident, it was crushed as the P-Block fell on it.

R-Block - The Religous Hatred Block teaches students the important of hating all religions. This subject is taught by Mr Broomfield, and was begun after a sudden surge of students joining Nathan Page's Eat-Cake Witness religion. Headmaster Lionel Donatello Marshmallow decided it would be preferable if students considered him as God, and converted a cattle-shed into the R-Block.

S-Block - The Sexual Studies Block was closed down in 1979 after students showed no interest in the subject. It was used to store a vast quantity of pornographic material, until the incident in 1996 led it to be hurled high into the sky, and onto the H-Block.

T-Block -

U-Block -

V-Block -

W-Block - The Water Block is entirely underwater. The reasons for this are unclear. It is believed to be the ancient lost city of Atlantis. Whatever the case, it was closed after Nathan Page soiled the water.

X-Block - The XXX Block was also known as the Media Studies Block. Students were banned from discussing any kind of film except pornographic ones. Famous films made by students include "Fat Man Orgy II" and "Nathan Does Dallas". it was here that Garald S Kirk made his first production, "Me In The Shower".

Y-Block -

Z-Block - The Zebediah Zane Block was built in the vain hope that Zebediah Zane would come to the openinig ceremony, and thus return to the school, bringing much greatness. Instead, Zane sent his apprentice, Yoda. Turner Page tried to chew him, saying he "believed him to be a giant brussel sprout". This reason was discredited as Page had never once eaten anything healthy.