Rant about the Liberals' fiscal ideals
From Create Your Own Story
"Can I get a volunteer from the audience to come up here, please?" you ask. A thousand hands shoot up. You tell your favorite security guard, Jose, to pick one for you, in the interest of safety.
Jose hoists one of the eager volunteers up onto the stage. He comes over to you, trembling with excitement.
"What's your name?" you inquire.
"J-John..." the shaky man responds, "Lennox."
You begin stroking John's hair sensually. "What a nice name!" you say, trying to calm him. "Let me ask you something, John."
"Sure, Sarah," he replies, smiling broadly. "Anything for you."
"John," you begin, moving your hand down to his face. "Do you like taxes?"
John looks astonished. "Why-Why, no!" he exclaims, enthused. "Who likes taxes?!"
"That," you say firmly, pushing John away, "is exactly my point. Those Liberals want to tax the shit out of the wealthy--but for what?! The wealthy are the only ones who do anything! Why the hell should we give our hard-earned money to some lazy, good-for-nothing, drug-addict hobos who don't even have enough dignity to make a living for themselves?! I say 'no'! You're not going to tax me! Make those selfish 'special needs' bastards get a FUCKING JOB!!!"
Breathing heavily, you:
Suddenly remember that that "Levi, the most avid Liberal you know," guy is still standing there, and Yell at Levi
Or maybe... Rant about Affirmative Action
