Hoboken Hal 2 2 1

From Create Your Own Story

You eat the old cake, which is vanilla-flavored with some sort of fruity frosting. You realize all too late that the cake was moldy, and strange things begin to happen. First, things start turning purple. Then, crocodiles start coming out of the floor. Next, you get the inexplicable feeling that if you sit down, you're going to die.

Distraught, you step onto the porch into the streets of Hoboken. The scents of garbage and cologne fill your nostrils. You hop on your bicycle, which is made entirely of chewing gum, careful not to lower your ass onto the seat, and pedal about a half-mile down the amorphous, polka-dotted sidewalk to the hospital, where Geezer Butler checks you into the emergency room. There's a four-hour wait. You come down from your trip within a few minutes, but are informed that you cannot leave before seeing the doctor. You twiddle your thumb and hit on a woman having a gall-bladder attack for what seems like an eternity before it's your turn.

"Hello," says Dr. Mauiwaui, with whom you are familiar, as you are hustled into her office. She's a rather rotund, middle-aged Indian woman. "What that is troubling you today please?"

"Nothing. I ate some bad cake, but I'm over it. Can I go now?"

"Mmmm," the doctor replies. "I must checked your vitals." You speculate that she really wants to get you out of there, but has to do this to keep your insurance company happy.

Mauiwaui proceeds with the examination quickly, aware that patients with broken bones and concussions are waiting patiently outside her door. However, as she holds your balls and tells you to cough, a rather unpatient patient smashes through the door. He smells no worse than the average resident of Hoboken, but you note that he smells bad in a different sort of manner, more like rotten meat. You see that his face is very pale and unhealthy-looking.

"I am be busy checked the patient vitals!" shouts the doctor. "You must leaved!"

At this, the intruder spins his head around three-sixty degress. Dr. Mauiwaui gasps, then faints, landing on and crushing you to Death.