User:Pickles
From Create Your Own Story
Contents |
Fun Pit Stories
Find glory by trying your luck in the pit. And by glory, I mean mild amusement.
Platypus
- The epic tale of the sysop/demigod Platypus told (primarily) by his nemesis Kevinsims22.
| Title: Platypus | ||
| Primary Author(s) | Kevinsims22 | Excerpt:
After leaving the usual "Please check your grammar." The Platypus laid back in his chair, taking a sip of Chai Tea. Wait..What is this Platypus exclaimed as her realized someone posted something on his talk page, could it be a reply from the newb...?" |
| Length | 13 pages | |
| English Quality* | 3 /10 | |
| Overall Rating | 9 /10 | |
* Overall grammar, spelling, punctuation, and coherence of the work.
Review:
I can't say much for the story's "objective" quality. Sometimes Kevinsims22's grammar is so bad that I can't tell what he is describing, and drawing a coherent plot from this stub is near impossible. It's often hard to tell what POV the story is written in, and the tense shifts between past and present nonsensically. It reads like a badly translated Quran, minus the poetry.
This story was originally written to make fun of Platypus' relentless editing and "special messages" (warn1 and incomplete are my personal favorites). But even Kevinsims22 admits that the site couldn't exist without Platypus. If the only active sysop decided this place wasn't worth saving, there would be no way to combat mass spam attempts, and the fading CYOS would finally perish for good. When this story was written (2010), a shutdown like this was far less likely, so what may have been exaggeration at the time has aged into a feasible reality.
I loved this short. Seeing Platypus through Kevinsims22's eyes was always amusing, and his awful English only made the piece more memorable. I wish Kevinsims22 had written more before leaving this story in the pit.
THE REVENGE OF GRANNY FRANN!!!!!
- Swear to god, she's up to something. Who let Granny back into the co-op?
| Title: THE REVENGE OF GRANNY FRANN!!!!! | ||
| Primary Author(s) | Bubbles1780 | Excerpt:
Granny Fran struts in showing off her new hips sashaying so proudly it sickens you. |
| Length | 12 pages | |
| English Quality* | 5 /10 | |
| Overall Rating | 6 /10 | |
* Overall grammar, spelling, punctuation, and coherence of the work.
Review:
I wonder if Bubbles 1780 expressed a true to life frustration in this work, or if he just thought it would be a funny dynamic to write. Regardless, THE REVENGE OF GRANNY FRAN!!!!! was a fun read. I laughed at least once on my first playthrough, but not much while reading through the other pages. If this had been a longer work, I think the joke would've gotten old fast (ba dum tss).
Also, Bubbles1780 did a half job putting the pages together. Two of the pages in the Category don't appear anywhere in the story, so you'll have to click through there to find the second ending. And the pages that are linked together have so many red links that, after the first page, you don't really have a choice as to where the story goes.
Like Platypus, the bad English doesn't take too much away from the story, and might actually make it funnier. But THE REVENGE OF GRANNY FRAN!!!! benefits less from this effect, for obvious reasons.
Chat Thing
editthischat.chatango.com/
This was Completionist's idea. An anonymous chatroom accessed through the link. It's faster than writing back and fourth on talk pages I suppose, but nobody has used it (Durzan left a message before, more than a year ago, but seems like he's it). Thought I might link it here anyway.
Temporary Jobs of Smutty
I'm working on one of the Smutty temporary jobs that Anedwcan suggested on the temporary job talk page. I might pick up another one later, but I'm currently on "Work as a pest control technician for Pestless Spirits, specializing in humane cockroach extermination." If you've read Arthur Saxon's "Saxon's Folly" (see asstr.org), please have a look at what I've got so far and let me know if I've desecrated his concept. I've taken some creative liberty with Pestless Spirits, but I'm not sure if I've gone too far or not far enough.
Other
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Account created 21:47, 7 May 2020
