Piggy's Day/You fall the fuck down

From Create Your Own Story

The pterosaur can't stay airborne, because you're FAT. It flips itself around, and drops you down into a large tree. After tumbling through about 200 pointy branches, and falling onto a velociraptors nest, you limp back to your house. Here you see that John has managed to befriend the tyrannosaurus.

Piggy: "Okay. Okay. I've had it. I'm not going out there anymore, I'm just gonna go inside until Swine comes to rescue us - no wait, not us, ME."

John: "Wait, no! I'm a stick-man, I still have at least 300 years to live, and I'm not spending those locked in this helt-hole."

Piggy: "If you want out, you'll have to either make a deal with me or hope that some random time-traveller comes to rescue you."

John: "Grrr...."

Piggy: "I suggest... Ooh, say, three years without trying to kill me."

John: "I can't help that I'm addicted to pork. I might accidentally sleepwalk to your house and kill you!"

Piggy: "OK, how about this: Swine transports you to 32014, three years from where I'll be transported to?"

John: ".... FINE. Just tell my nephew to move back with his grandmother in the meantime."

Piggy: "It'sa deal. Now, we need to find a way to live renewably."

John: "Yeah. You won't be of any help with that. I know that you eat like... a pig... and you most certainly can't hunt."

Piggy: "Nah-ah! I can drive any dangerous species to extinction!"

John: "Prove it."

1 year later - you stand on a barren field with dinosaur corpses and skeletons lying around everywhere.

John: "Oh, great."

Piggy: "Ain't it?"

John: "NO! You've extincted every dinosaur on the Laramidia continent!

Piggy: "So?"

John: "What will we eat?"

The two of you die in starvation. In some alternate universe Swine might have found you on time, but not in this one.

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