Masochist me/Contact

From Create Your Own Story

(Difference between revisions)
(Starting the story.)
(Finished the eye contact. Now need to move to physical contact. Sorry, nothing dirty in this area. Dirty stories will come later.)
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We nodded, seeing her point.
We nodded, seeing her point.
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"So, where is the balance. Lets continue our discussion." With that, she sat down in front of me.
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"So, for a client who is not really saying much about himself, and which you do not know much about, you are correct when you said to tell him a little about yourself. Sometimes, it could just be him subconsciously not trusting you, or not completely secure about the situation." This time, I noted she glanced at the other two time to time, and blinked more. "Remember, he knows you are there only because you are getting paid. So, it is up to you to make him feel more comfortable with him." I nodded, feeling that maybe I wasn't a completely clueless dolt.
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"Also, you need to remember, do not go overboard. Try to ask simple questions. Like, what do they do for a living. If you notice something different, like an accent, see if you can find out where they are from. If you know anything about it, then you will have topics you can discuss." It was good information, and I felt much more comfortable. "So, tell me, how do you feel now?" She asked, changing the topic back again.
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"I feel, more relaxed, more comfortable." She nodded, stood up, and went back to the front of all of us.
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"Exactly. You still want to maintain a comfortable level of eye contact, but to not overdo it. Strong eye contact makes you appear secure, self confident. But, you only want to maintain it for about seven to ten seconds each time. Too little, and you lose a strong impression. Too much, and you make them feel uncomfortable, like you are in a confrontation."
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We all murmured our agreement.
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"However, this is where it becomes tricky for you. These are standard dating techniques for successful dates, but that is normally among peers. You will have many clients that, while you might never want to date them in your personal life, you will still need to make a good impression on them for your service. Those who tend to view women as inferior, or those who are older, and grew up in a male oriented society. For these, you may need to limit your eye contact to 3-5 seconds before breaking it. They are looking for subservient women, those who 'know their place'. This creates an image of you that you are inferior to them, or more respectful."
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We understood.
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"So remember, judge your client, and try to ensure you maintain the proper eye contact. Many of these same things will also come into play with physical contact. You want to normally appear strong and secure, yet open and inviting. Too much, you just seem crazy. Too little, you will put off many clients by appearing uninterested or standoffish. Also remember to watch what his eyes are doing. If they are paying less attention to you than other things, then the date may not be going well, and you will need to find a way to turn it around or risk losing this client. You can also watch their pupils. They will normally dilate slightly when they are viewing something they consider attractive. Not physically attractive, but if the client is superficial enough, possibly, but someone they view as being attracted to. You can also watch his eyebrows. Normally, if a man is attracted, he will lift his eyebrows. Like if you say something that intrigues him, or do something he enjoys. But be careful you are not watching only for reactions, and loose track of the situation. Remember, you are all young and pretty, so you will have some level of interest from clients." We nodded, feeling confident. "But, most of your money will come from steady clients, those who continue booking you. You need to do more than look pretty and spread your legs to keep them coming back." That deflated us a little.
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With that, she started discussing physical contact, and how to do so with clients appropriately.
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"Now remember, all of this is for clients that have not expressed specific instructions or desires, and when you are with your client in public venues. You will learn more about more intimate contact in another training course."
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Eye contact:
 
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Depends on client
 
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Some prefer direct eye contact for a more intimate experience.
 
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<blockquote>From: lifehacker.com/a-scientific-guide-to-the-perfect-first-date-1443210946
 
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<br><br>
 
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The study shows that when we lock eye contact for too long the other person might see that as forced dominance, which is (usually) not something you want to exude on a first date because it's confrontational. Likewise, it's not as persuasive as it once was and the study showed that too much eye contact was actually counterproductive.
 
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<br><br>
 
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In the context of a first date, balancing the right kind of eye contact is crucial. You don't really want to appear too dominant and controlling, but still need to maintain the confidence that comes from solid eye contact. So, what's the right amount of eye contact? The Wall Street Journal suggests that it's about 7-10 seconds of eye contact at a time. Hold your gaze, look away briefly at a window, waiter, or other table, then return the look. Eye contact is still important, but don't overdo it. The last thing you want to do is creep out your date with cult leader eyes.
 
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<br><br>
 
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1. Prolonged Eye Contact: This may seem simple enough, but sometimes people tend to forget just how much a locked stare or held gaze can actually say. A Dartmouth University study found that male participants who were asked to rate models based on a series of photos preferred those who were staring directly at the camera; those who weren’t were seen as less agreeable. Think of it this way: if your date’s eyes wander during the conversation, he might be bored.
 
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<br><br>2 Dilated Pupils: Eye contact is one thing, but dilated pupils are hard to fake. Science has proven that a person’s eyes dilate when she sees something she finds attractive. This could be a great way to determine if your date is into you, but be careful, because it might also be that plate of food in front of her that she’s interested in, or perhaps the sign of a drug problem. Either way, the pupils provide important information.
 
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<br><br>
 
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3. The Eyebrow Lift: It sounds like a cliché out of an old classic film, but according to Yahoo Personals, when a man sees someone he’s into, he might quickly lift and lower his eyebrows, wrinkling his forehead in the process. He may not even be aware of his own actions, as anthropologists have labeled the move “the eyebrow flash,” so you have to be on your own toes to pick up on this one.
 
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</blockquote>
 
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Others prefer the woman to be more passive, shy, flirtatious, or submissive
 
Physical contact:
Physical contact:

Revision as of 05:30, 20 March 2017

"Hello," the instructor said, looking each one of us in the eye. "Today you will learn about eye contact and bodily contact. What they mean, what they say, and what they do."

We nodded, and she continued.

"First, eye contact. Someone tell me what is expected."

I answered quickly. "We must always maintain eye contact."

The instructor shook her head. "Incorrect. Here, let me demonstrate."

With that, she grabbed a chair and set it down in front of me.

"So, you are out on a date, and things seem to be going okay so far," she said, looking me in the eye. I mimicked her, keeping my eyes on hers.

"So, what will you do?" She asked, still looking into my eyes.

"I will try to get him talking. To tell me about himself."

"And, if he is shy, reserved?" She asked me.

I tried to figure out how to reply, noticing this woman hardly ever blinked.

"I guess that depends on what kind of things I knew about him, and go with my gut feeling."

I started to wonder if I had given the right answer.

"But you don't know anything about this client. He did not put much information on his bio."

I started wondering what I was doing wrong. "Then I guess I would pick something to tell him about myself."

Under her non-wavering gaze, I started to feel a bit self conscious.

"Like what? I mean, is the client there to listen to you talk about yourself?"

I cleared my throat. "I guess not." I was starting to feel very self conscious by now.

"Okay, so, now I want you to think about something. How do you feel, with me, right now?"

The sudden change in topics confused me, but I answered honestly. "Really? A bit...strange, and like I am doing everything wrong."

"Why is that?" She asked.

"Sorry, I don't know." I replied, feeling worse and worse, like I had no clue.

"Eye contact." I blinked in surprise. "What you are feeling is exactly what you expressed. I am maintaining constant eye contact with you."

With that, she got up and walked back in front of all of us. I felt relieved.

"Too many people know the default answer, maintain eye contact. But, constant eye contact sends the wrong message. Instead of saying 'I am interested in you', it tells the other party that you are in control of them. You are the dominant person, and makes the clients feel like it is less of a date, and more of a confrontation."

It dawned on me. "That is exactly how I felt."

"While you do want to maintain eye contact in many circumstances, you want to still look at other things. If you are in a restaurant, you can look at the menu, or look at the food. Look away time to time. I would say, it is more important to maintain steady eye contact."

We nodded, seeing her point.

"So, where is the balance. Lets continue our discussion." With that, she sat down in front of me.

"So, for a client who is not really saying much about himself, and which you do not know much about, you are correct when you said to tell him a little about yourself. Sometimes, it could just be him subconsciously not trusting you, or not completely secure about the situation." This time, I noted she glanced at the other two time to time, and blinked more. "Remember, he knows you are there only because you are getting paid. So, it is up to you to make him feel more comfortable with him." I nodded, feeling that maybe I wasn't a completely clueless dolt.

"Also, you need to remember, do not go overboard. Try to ask simple questions. Like, what do they do for a living. If you notice something different, like an accent, see if you can find out where they are from. If you know anything about it, then you will have topics you can discuss." It was good information, and I felt much more comfortable. "So, tell me, how do you feel now?" She asked, changing the topic back again.

"I feel, more relaxed, more comfortable." She nodded, stood up, and went back to the front of all of us.

"Exactly. You still want to maintain a comfortable level of eye contact, but to not overdo it. Strong eye contact makes you appear secure, self confident. But, you only want to maintain it for about seven to ten seconds each time. Too little, and you lose a strong impression. Too much, and you make them feel uncomfortable, like you are in a confrontation."

We all murmured our agreement.

"However, this is where it becomes tricky for you. These are standard dating techniques for successful dates, but that is normally among peers. You will have many clients that, while you might never want to date them in your personal life, you will still need to make a good impression on them for your service. Those who tend to view women as inferior, or those who are older, and grew up in a male oriented society. For these, you may need to limit your eye contact to 3-5 seconds before breaking it. They are looking for subservient women, those who 'know their place'. This creates an image of you that you are inferior to them, or more respectful."

We understood.

"So remember, judge your client, and try to ensure you maintain the proper eye contact. Many of these same things will also come into play with physical contact. You want to normally appear strong and secure, yet open and inviting. Too much, you just seem crazy. Too little, you will put off many clients by appearing uninterested or standoffish. Also remember to watch what his eyes are doing. If they are paying less attention to you than other things, then the date may not be going well, and you will need to find a way to turn it around or risk losing this client. You can also watch their pupils. They will normally dilate slightly when they are viewing something they consider attractive. Not physically attractive, but if the client is superficial enough, possibly, but someone they view as being attracted to. You can also watch his eyebrows. Normally, if a man is attracted, he will lift his eyebrows. Like if you say something that intrigues him, or do something he enjoys. But be careful you are not watching only for reactions, and loose track of the situation. Remember, you are all young and pretty, so you will have some level of interest from clients." We nodded, feeling confident. "But, most of your money will come from steady clients, those who continue booking you. You need to do more than look pretty and spread your legs to keep them coming back." That deflated us a little.

With that, she started discussing physical contact, and how to do so with clients appropriately.

"Now remember, all of this is for clients that have not expressed specific instructions or desires, and when you are with your client in public venues. You will learn more about more intimate contact in another training course."


Physical contact: Similar to eye contact, but training mentions little methods, such as touching clients hand, or getting close while walking.

www.more.com/love-sex/dating/first-date-9-signs-hes-you

8. Physical Contact: A hand on the knee, a peck on the cheek, a pat on the arm—it’s all about making contact to indicate the interest in more contact. People generally don’t touch other people they’re not interested in, so if your date has made any physical contact that doesn’t include wiping that drink off you she may have accidentally spilled, it’s a positive.

9. Highlighting the Best Attributes: If your date isn’t touching you, she may be touching, er, herself. Whether a woman is running her hands through her hair or a man is flexing his muscles, we all tend to inadvertently highlight our best attributes in front of someone we’re into. If she’s drawing attention to her lips, it’s a solid sign of attraction; if he’s got his thumbs tucked into his pants pockets … well, you get the drift.
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