Piggy's Day/Active

From Create Your Own Story

Current revision as of 21:14, 15 November 2016

You hear a rumbling and rattling from one of the tunnels that branch off of the room you're in, and soon enough a mine cart rolls into view.

Seven dwarves: "We dig dig dig dig dig dig dig in our mine the whole day throoouuugh, to dig dig dig dig dig dig dig is what we like to dooooooo!"

This mine seems far too cheesy for your tastes, so you take off down another tunnel as fast as your legs or shanks or whatever can carry your enormous bulk, which is not very fast. The dwarf Dopey quickly morphs into a blue alien clad in a jumpsuit with "V.E.A.L." printed in block letters on the front. You curse yourself for forgetting that piece you saw last year in the prestigious Fake News For Gullible Dipshits publication you picked up at the grocery store checkout, about how the Venusian intelligence agencies had started using the new Molecular Transmogrification Apparatus As Seen On TV Now Available For Only $934,567,321,000.00 In The Next Hour If You Call This Number to disguise themselves as children's cartoon characters, to further aid them in apprehending dangerous tube sock thieves.

The Venusian pulls out a gun and shoots you with a tranquilizer fork.

You're not sure how long you were out for, but when you awaken you find yourself suspended in mid-air by a force field. You try to struggle but you can't move a muscle in your body. You look around and see you're still in the mine, but it feels damper and much colder, so you figure you must be deeper within whatever planet this is. You note with some dismay that your brand new Pigdidas tube socks are missing. The dwarves-turned-Venusians are sitting around a makeshift rock table arguing over a holographic board game when they notice that you're awake.

As they pick up their ray guns and walk over to you, you desperately try to recall everything you know about the Venusian regime. In the 261st century Venus was colonized by Floop Corp. and the entire population enslaved to work in the enormous, planet-wide tube sock factory. The situation lasted until about 500 years ago when a communist revolution drove out Floop Corp. and workers took over the factory. However, the revolution was betrayed from within by a small group of disgruntled sock testers from the future who'd had their side business selling defective tube socks on the black market shut down by the communist authorities. Now Venus is an authoritarian police planet where tube sock production is technically owned by the workers, but only police are actually allowed to own tube socks.

Venusian police sergeant: "How did you come into possession of these tube socks, and who are you working for?"

Piggy: "I bought them at J-Mart in Los Angeles, and I'm just a fisherman, definitely not an interplanetary tube sock smuggler!"

Venusian police sergeant: "Sounds exactly like something an interplanetary tube sock smuggler would say!"

The other Venusians nod in agreement and aim their ray guns at you. Sweating profusely, you wrack your brain for some way to save your bacon.

Piggy: "Wait!!! If you guys let me go I'll let you play Pokémon Go on my phone!"

The Venusians freeze and collectively gasp. You know that cellphones are very scarce on Venus, though there are rumoured to be plenty of rare Pokémon there.

Venusian police sergeant: "You... you mean it? We can really play?"

The Venusians deactivate the force field and you suddenly drop, your rotund form bouncing a couple times before coming to rest on the ground. The Venusians eagerly grab your phone and race off in pursuit of a Magneton down one of the tunnels. You look around and note that one of the Venusians left a ray gun on the ground in front of you.

You rub your sore behind and:

• Pick up the ray gun
• Take a look at the board game
• Jump in the mine cart and get going