Y4H: The third state's witness
From Create Your Own Story
DA: Call Agent Joe-Jacques Fozdyke.
A young FBI agent swaggers into the room. In the first few questions, he explains that he's on the Special Theft (Porn) Undercover Investigative Division. She goes into the details of the investigation, and finally gets to the search.
DA: Was there a search of the defendant's apartment?
Joe: A search warrant was obtained on probable cause based on the affidavits of Mr. and Mrs. Scractcher, and evidence also of a well-known international dealer in stolen pornography artifacts, suggesting the strong possibility of a scheme to remove a rare item, and involvement of the suspect in said scheme. A search was conducted based on this warrant.
DA: And what was in his apartment?
Joe: A number of ordinary items for daily living, such as silverware, groceries, dishwashing powder, scouring pads, facial soap, and other items of that nature. Several items of female attire in the bedroom suggested the presence of a girlfriend or a transvestite fetish. In searching a drawer of female underwear, we did locate several recreational items, including a pair of golden ben-wa balls.
Well, you knew that was coming. The jury's looking at you suspiciously, for at least a couple of reasons, but Whitley will be able to clear it up. The DA moves to Joe's area of expertise.
DA: I think you said an infamous porn fence has been seen in the area recently?
Joe: Yes, one of the most notorious, Hayden Dickman.
DA: What sort of items has he dealt in?
Joe: According to agency files, Dickman shows a marked preference for artifacts from porn classics. We believe he successufully unloaded the sugar-cane dildo from No Go Po No, the cue stick from Bouncing Balls in Pool Halls, the Kama Sutra cards from The Gambler's Phallusy...
DA: What's the strangest item he's ever dealt in?
Joe: We're not sure, but it might be the detonator from Bouncing Betty Goes Boom.
DA: What about betamax tapes from the 70's?
Joe: There's no doubt that would be right up his street. We have evidence he successfully sold a reel tape version of a porn-protest classic - Think of Me as the War. Fuck the War! We believe that particular transaction netted him six figures.
DA: Now does Dickman work with software?
Joe: He does indeed, including custom jobs for passing along stolen data files, and encrypted pictures of his loot.
DA: And what company does he use for debugging and customizing his software?
Joe: Our investigation's quite clear on that point. He goes exclusively to Telethrust.
Holy crap! That's your company! Do they know?
DA: And are there any Telethrust employees here in town?
Joe: [points to you] Just that guy.
You guess they do. You whisper to Doc, "Shouldn't you be objecting?" He whispers back, "Too late."
DA: No further questions.
Doc wasn't expecting this. (Thank heavens for Whitley!) He looks to you for his inspiration.
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