User talk:Teejay/Archive1
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Hello Teejay, I really liked the chapters you've added so I was wondering if you would be interested in adding to an interactive story that I am aiming to have an actual ending to Cassie's Horrible Family. Basically the main character (Cassie), goes through a limited amount of various difficulties each day until we get to our ending after a number of days. Basically I don't want any unwritten chapters in the story. I'd like it if you could take a look at it and see if you are interested. - Uman on July 13, 2015
Thanks for adding to The World As We Know It. I will definitely be expanding on your entries as well as working on 2 Taboo 4 You and Chronos after I have the basics for Arcade Adventure all lined up. I have a lot of stories because I am easily bored, but I will come back to each one, be sure (Except, perhaps for Primal Influence which I consider to be a clumsy first attempt). --Elerneron 22:47, 23 February 2015 (UTC)
Hey thanks for your contributions to 2 Taboo 4 You. I have noticed that we seem to work on the story around the same time. It occurred to me that we might end up working on the same passage by accident. I wouldn't want either of use to waste our time. Any suggestions on how to avoid doubling up? --Elerneron
Hopefully that will work, but I jump around a bit, especially if an option jumps out for me. Right now I'm just filling the story out a bit, but I enjoy working off of other peoples stories . . . you know trading off and what not. I'll try not to overwrite anything of yours while I'm at it. --Elerneron 08:16, 14 October 2014 (UTC)
Do you mind if I flesh out your entries for 2 Taboo 4 You a bit? They're really great, but I'd like to add some more detail if you don't mind. --Elerneron 22:12, 15 October 2014 (UTC)
Don't you dare stop writing "Whore it Out!" My pussy almost fucking exploded during the big house storyline!! What happens if she wants to stay with him for good? :3
-RedJenny69 5/8/14
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Not a problem. I appreciate the work you put into it. But, to be honest, I'd like to see what you could do in your own thread. Come up with some new ideas of your own. Craft your own story for the orc. You don't have to if you don't want to, it's just a thought.
If you're going to write for my story 'You Are An Orc', please be aware that all races, humans, elves, and so on, all live separately. Only orcs, and villages made up of outcasts have a mixed society. To make the main orc's elf grandfather the lord of a human town does not make sense, especially considering that it's already been established that Isabelle is the lord's daughter. So, please try to stay consistent with what has already been written. Thanks.
-Kanin452 Feb 11, 2014
Matt/Katelyn/Amanda to come, maybe very soon. Possible Matt's Dad/Katelyn or Matt's Dad/Amanda or Matt's Dad/Katelyn/Amanda to come. Any other ideas? - Super Tramp
The Dwayne being humilated path is a 'true love' path, well part of it anyway. What I have going on there is Dwayne's older brother Derrick is going to come into the picture very soon with hoping to get revenge for this brothers humilation depending on the choices you make.
Yeah i realize i haven't really given Katelyn a chance and i love her spunky/sassy attitude. She is definitely a bad girl and i should REALLY show that side of her.
As for Mrs. O'Rielly.. Yeah, some of those paths I left open early on should definitely flesh out a story involving her.
You kept saying Mark but i'm guessing your talking about Matt - the main character.
I've been finding myself ending open paths just so i don't have to deal with them later and this was never my intention. I always wanted the story to be able to intertwine if and whenever possible with slightly different dialogs and events. Such as when Amanda and Katelyn go to the club alone after Matt tells him he can't make it and meet up with Dwayne, there would be a different outcome during the girls locker room scene.
I want people to think.. hey, the story didn't end so I must not have choosen the wrong path only to have it come to an abrupt unsatisfactory end because of that choice you made fifteen pages ago.
I don't know, I'm working on it.
Anyway, I read some of your contributions and I like them. If you would like to help out you can but I do have a lot of ideas that are just to many to write all down. I'm a slow typer and I know that can probably be a little frustrating. - Super Tramp
Hey! Thanks a lot for the kind words. I thought for sure I was getting yet another warning from Platypus for doing something wrong. I'm very new to this site and don't know the ropes just yet. I'm glad you would like to contribute and thank you very much for asking first. I'm trying to something sorta unique with this story that i don't see often enough in other stories within the Adult Section. I'm trying to make this a story that isn't just about adult themes but rather a story that may occasionally have adult themes. hmm, does that make sense?
I would appreciate any suggestions and maybe I can incorporate them into the story. As of right now though I would like to keep story 'closed' to the community. I REALLY HOPE this doesn't change your appreciation for this story and I hope you will continue reading. Again thank you very much and Merry Christas & Happy New Years. - Super Tramp
well, that very bad if that's only a standard "warning" because it was extremely rude and uncalled for, besides after reading through what he has said and done with others stories it appears i am not the only person who would agree it was very rude. i will continue to work on my story for now but if things like that continue in such a rude way, i'll finish it somewhere else because i don't feel like spending hours of work only to receive rude comments. anyway i would love to hear your ideas and may be able to throw some, if not many of them in with my story as i really only have one or two ideas which can go more then a couple pages at the moment.
i still fully believe that those kind of warnings may be necessary but can easily be dealt with in a much better,less rude fashion. after reading through his other comments i am shocked there is no FAQ page that is easily accessible to provide that kind of information to new users, that would avoid new users of the site reviving comments which they feel are rude and will allow more users to come and actually stay in the long run.
hailey
Thanks for contributing. I had intended that to be an ending but drawing it out a little longer wouldn't hurt. :) Nice to know at least one person has read a little so far! -- Cpt. Devonin
Just so you know, there are a couple of ways to revert vandalism. You can click the History tab on the top of the page, select the version that existed before the vandal attack, Edit, and save. Or you can click on the vandal's user name on the Recent Changes page, then click on User Contributions. Every page he's made or editted will have a 'revert' option next to it. Click 'revert' and his editing will be undone. --Platypus 05:01, 19 February 2009 (PST)
Collaboration with Fredhot16 over Anime School
Over the course of this story, we should answer this list of questions:
1. What kind of genre should Anime School be overall? Should it be a slice of life story, a mystery, a horror, a comedy, or a thriller? Should it be a sub-genre like such as a "Gothic horror" story or a "psychological thriller" story?
2. Where is the school? Is it in a real place in Japan or is it a fictional place? Are there any special events in that place? Is it a city or a town? What kind of school is it? Is it a boarding school or a public school?
3. What kind of home lives do each of the characters have? What kind of families do they have?
4. What is the significance of the aliens? What is their purpose? DO they have any special abilities? Are they significant to the larger plot? Could they introduce a genre shift such as from drama to horror?
5. What kind of likes and dislikes do the characters have? What are their interests and why do they like said interests? What are their hobbies and why do they like each hobby?
6. What are their short and long term motivations, goals, desires, and temptations?
7. What kind of relationships do the characters have within the class, outside the class, and outside the school?
8. Is there anything special about the school? Are there any events that could conjure up potential stories? Does the school has some mythology around it, myths and legends that could conjure up possible stories for the characters? Have there been serial killer attacks, ghosts, special places or mirrors that could tell you the future? Have there been any Japanese mythological sightings around the area?
9. What hidden depths do the characters have? The characters have been general personalities like "pervert" or "shy" or "athletic" but we know that there is more to people then that. People have the tendency to have more to them then meets the eye. For example, Asa is supposed to be a athlete but who says she can't be a budding botanist? Riko is supposed to be a pervert but who says she can't be as interested in sports as Asa and a competent fighter too? Sia is supposed to be shy but who says that she can't come from a family that had suffered a painful divorce and be a supreme player of card games like poker and Yu-Gi-Oh? Suzaku is also supposed to be shy but who says that he can't be a rock guitarist too?
Every character should have something that is unexpected of them, whether if it is a hobby, something about their life, something about their family, or something about the way they act around other people. It helps the characters be more human and more interesting.
(I'm almost glad that they has broad stroke personalities as it means that we can determine all the little things that, as it piles up, can determine if a shade of red is ruby or crimson, rose or jam, apple or blood.)
(Here are websites below to help with writing the characters.)
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SoYouWantTo/DevelopCharacterPersonality
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/SoYouWantTo/MakeInterestingCharacters
--User:Fredhot16 07:52, 19 April 2016 (Louisiana Time)
I saw your recent edits. You're apparently going for a dating sim/slice-of-life feel. That's not a terrible idea but it's typical for a high school anime. Maybe you could some cross it with another genre?
Instead of going for the stereotypical "tough guy with heart of gold trying to hide it because he cares too much about his reputation", you could have him embrace his heart of gold? He doesn't hide it with stupid lies or ridiculous disguises. He OPENLY goes out and spends a lot of time helping out at a orphanage. If anyone thinks him soft or weak for doing so, then they're allowed to say it to his face in exchange for a quite some pain. --User:Fredhot16 14:43, 6 September 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Well. We've hit a problem. Anime School has transgender characters. Well, I may be wrong. They're only described as "a boy who dresses like a girl" and "a girl who dresses as a boy". But I think we can assume that they're transgender. Sure, there might be other reasons and I'd like to hear them. For now, I'm assuming they're transgender.
Which is a problem because a topic like this deserves a VERY careful hand when writing, a hand that I doubt that the original creator had before coming up with this idea. Since he's no longer with us, we have to ask ourselves: do we really want to keep this? I'm not asking because I'm transphobic, I'm asking because I want to this to be treated with the respect and skill it deserves. I'm willing to do research and I hope you're willing too but we need to make a decision about this so that we don't fuck this up majorly when this CYOS gets going. Should we keep this as an experiment for us and as a way to broaden our own experiences or should we cut it out so we don't accidentally do something terrible?--User:Fredhot16 16:46, 21 October 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Teejay, I thank you for what you've said and for your willingness to write a transgender character but a willingness...let me be blunt: a willingness to write is not the issue here. It's skill, a ability to write this sort of stuff without giving offense, intentionally or otherwise. Do you think you have that skill? Update: If I seem...rough, it's because I want this to go well. Hell, I'm not too sure I can pull this off without fucking up.-User:Fredhot16 18:28, 21 October 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Here's a character list and what personalities I've come up for them so far. I'm letting you know so you don't get thrown off track by what I write later. Please tell me if you agree with what I wrote.
? Sia: She's shy, I won't deny that. However, she's also very tough. Her father and mother divorced by way of Kyōgi Rikon so when the children had to be picked...well, I haven't come up with an idea for how much family she had or who she went with. Suggestions?
Amari Riko: She, too, is a prankster like Kenji. She's also a fierce fighter. She doesn't enjoy fighting but she can handle herself pretty well. Her mother is...clingy.
? Asa: Asa's goal in life is to become a doctor, not out of familial pressure but because of a genuine interest in medicine. She has a very tight and loving relationship with her father and she may have "feelings" with her parkour teacher. She's also pretty good at parkour.
Banno : She's extremely moral but she is no fool. She can be just as calculating and manipulative as Kouga, she simply makes the conscious choice not to on the grounds that she believes people are not chess pieces to be moved around. She often tries to act as the moral center of her classroom. When she feels that Kenji has goes too far with a prank, she either helps Riku get back at him or verbally tears him a new one. (Kenji's got enough of a heart to recognize when Dita's right and to not only admit it but to actually try to make up for it.) When Naru gets too creepy, she often tries to smooth things over. While she comes off as flighty and WAY too lively,
? Hinagiku:
? Ami:
? Rena: She has an unfortunate case of sticky fingers.
? Ren:
? Kouga: Kouga has a very Machiavellian side to him. His continuous silence is not because he has nothing to say. It's because he's always watching, thinking. Kouga isn't evil but he is somewhat...unscrupulous. He's very willing to play his classmates and friends like fiddles for his goals and is not prone to telling people the WHOLE truth if it suits him. He's not above occasional cruelty to get somewhere but he does not endorse USELESS cruelty. If it helps him, fine. If it doesn't, then it's worthless.
Yamamoto Kenji: Kenji is a irrepressible prankster, never letting anybody off from his tricks. It doesn't matter who they are, classmate or teacher, parent or sibling. He'll pull jokes on anybody and everybody he can when he feels the urge, all solely for his amusement. Yet he's not above pranking people because they've been cruel. He's willing to defend anybody he thinks have bullied unfairly. (Fair bullying, in his mind, is about the same as karmic justice.) And he's willing to give his time teaching weak or bullied people how to defend themselves. (Yes, did I mention Kenji is skilled in martial arts? Well, I haven't decided WHICH type of martial arts yet.)
He does, however, have very stringent and exacting standards for others, his work and himself. Perfection, or least as close to it as possible, is his standard, one he does not compromise on.
He also plays the violin.
He has seemingly NO concern for how he's seen. Anybody who thinks lesser of him for what he does is allowed to say so to his face for the price of a hard fist to the gut. He'll do what he pleases and according to his conscious.
? Naru: I'm thinking of making this guy...creepy. Not in a perverted way, of course, like taking photos of classmates or trying to force himself on a girl in the shower. (Seriously, that part was utterly unreadable).
He's creepy but he doesn't realize how creepy he can be. Take, for example, romantic gestures. His idea of one is to leave a bouquet of flowers with a card that professes his love in flowery terms but doesn't have a name on it. His idea of where to leave it? In the girl's room, right on her bed. And he doesn't see how this could scare her as she's more likely to think that somebody just broke into her house and is love with her then be appreciative of the flowers and card. He sees "romance", she sees " dangerous stalker".
Naru is...how do I put it? He has a different mindset then most people. He's not malicious or malevolent, he simply sees things in a different way. He's capable of great compassion and empathy with people and his background...I haven't developed it yet but I'll try to make it sympathetic.
I'm also thinking of getting rid of the crush he had on Asa in the original CYOA. It won't hurt him if he doesn't have an attraction to Asa and, quite frankly, I don't have a good attitude towards Asa x Naru because of the rape scene in the shower.
Oh, and his narration will be sprinkled with "observations" of pretty much every woman he meets. He IS a pervert, after all. Just a unintentionally terrifying pervert with a heart. And, no, his perverted side and his scary side don't intersect all that often. That would lead to dark territory. And while you'll discover that I have a predilection for dark stuff, I have my boundaries.
? Sagara:
? Nagi:
? Suzaku:
? Hakkaku:
? Yuri: He's the Male-To-Female Transgender person.
? Rin: Rin is an alien. Therefore, we should not assume she naturally acts like a human or has human sensibilities. I have a weird idea where Rin has the ability to warp reality but in a much smaller extent then Dash. Why? Because I love the idea of supposedly weak abilities being extremely devastating in the right hands and mind.
Look, I don't have a firm fix on this idea. The idea I have for her is to be able to "switch" things with the same "type" of thing. The "type" has to be general like "switching out" similar car types or similar clothes. She can't turn a fish into a pencil but can "switch" a trout for a bass.
- This dude, too, is an alien and, thus, is not human and should not naturally act like one. He has reality warping powers but they're far stronger.
--User:Fredhot16 7:54, 27 October 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Hey, Teejay. I asked around on a forum about Japan and transgender people and...well, somebody sent me the link below.
www.hrw.org/report/2016/05/06/nail-sticks-out-gets-hammered-down/lgbt-bullying-and-exclusion-japanese-schools
--User:Fredhot16 19:34, 28 November 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Yo. So, I was planning on making the shy girl, Sia, a child of divorced parents so I went and did some cursory research on Japanese divorce. There are apparently four types of divorce:
1."Kyōgi Rikon", which is divorce by mutual agreement. More then 90% of all Japanese divorces go this way since it's the fastest, least expensive, and most non-judicial procedure option.
2. "Chōtei Rikon", which is divorce by meditation in a family court.
3." Shinpan Rikon", which is divorce completed by family court decision when divorce cannot be established by mediation.
4. "Saiban Rikon", which is when if divorce cannot be established by the family court, then application is made to the district court for a decision.
Also, in a divorce by agreement, the husband and wife must determine which child they want to have custody of.
Just some things I found out.
Update: There are also "five grounds for unilateral divorce if divorce cannot be reached by mutual agreement": infidelity, malicious desertion, uncertainty whether or not the spouse is dead or alive for three years or more, serious mental disease without hope of recovery, and a “grave reason” which makes continuing the marriage impossible.
Oh, and some more: "Joint custody is not recognized in Japan" and "Japanese family law has no provision for visitation rights and has no legal mechanism to enforce visitation rights or other court-negotiated settlements afterwards. It is quite usual that upon divorce, the father pays nothing for the child’s support and that he never sees his child."
Well, here's another interesting fact: one of the male students is named "Yuri". Platypus told me that "Yuri" is not only Japanese for Lily but it is a female name and, well, slang for "lesbian".I have my own ideas about it: perhaps one of his parents was Russian? Maybe "Yuri" isn't his given name but one he calls himself since he's a Male-to-Female transgender person? I'll decide later.
--User:Fredhot16 13:28, 17 December 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Teejay, I've been looking at the pages you've done and I think I've noticed a key flaw in your writing. It's detail. In your writing, you seem to be a bit sparse on detail. You know, describing how people look, the surroundings, people's reactions, the physical sides of emotional reactions like fear making someone pale or rage tightening one's throat (strong emotions do that), the minutia of what's happening in a scene, that sort of thing. You're too general in your writing, you need to be more specific. Now that I think about it, that's actually a common flaw around this website.--User:Fredhot16 18:23, 21 December 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Teejay, if you want to write this story the way you want, you can go ahead. --User:Fredhot16 13:23, 22 January 2018 (Louisiana Time)
Fredhot16
I have a simple request to ask of you, Mister/Madam Teejay. I have started a few CYOSs in the Mature Story Section. If you go to my page, you will find the CYOSs. I was hoping that you would be so gracious to...get them started, if you would kindly. For the New World of Darkness CYOS, please refer to the Idea Pitches section. That is all and thank you for allowing to voice my humble plea.--User:Fredhot16 14:10, 11 April 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Ah. Yes, I see. I apologize for the prior request as I have now come to the realization that it was a heedless idea. Forgive me for wasting your precious time. In return, may I suggest a CYOA that needs some...ehem, "wiki love"? The name is "Anime School" and it is in the Adult Story section. It is in dire need of more material and the last time someone spared the time to edit this was, as far as in my knowledge, December, 10, 2011. --User:Fredhot16 08:10, 14 April 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Yes, I understand but-O.K, I'm dropping the formal way of talking. I don't want to carry on the joke any longer. Yeah, I know that it says "Do Not Edit" but the last time the thing was edited was in 2010 and, hell, the last time the creator edited ANYTHING was in 2013. Is it really wrong to do something for it?--User:Fredhot16 08:10, 14 April 2016 (Louisiana Time)
I'm glad you agree! After all, why can't Create Your Own Story have a statue of limitations that lasts more then two years? Can't wait for your newest edits. I recommend trying the "Male Students" section since NO ONE has done anything in that section and some work on the field trip sections.--User:Fredhot16 08:10, 14 April 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Hey, heads up: I'm going to be working on this one as well. I'm going to be doing all types of edits everywhere so excuse me and sorry if I happen to edit something you've done. OOOORRR we could make this a collaboration. Eh? Eh? EEEHHH?--User:Fredhot16 11:42, 15 April 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Alright, let's get this show on the road! --User:Fredhot16 07:54, 19 April 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Glad you agree, Teejay. And I mean no offense to you. By the way, apologies for the lack of work I've put into "Anime School". Writing anxiety and I have about 20 other ideas jumbled in my head plus school. P.S Won't be working on Anime School until at least early July. This is the month of Ramadan. --User:Fredhot16 15:31, 14 June 2016 (Louisiana Time)
(Quiet throat clearing) By "it does sometimes seem that Platypus and I are the only sane men on this website", you mean me too, RRRRIIIGGHHTTT?--User:Fredhot16 10:23, 17 June 2016 (Louisiana Time)
That's what I thought. If that wasn't true, I would have gone and proved my manhood to you the same way Superman did: by punching you in the stomach while declaring my masculinity. --User:Fredhot16 20:59, 17 June 2016 (Louisiana Time)
I've heard DirtyMe has been giving around flowers so because I have been up for 18 hours straight, here is something in the same spirit:
All glory.--Fredhot16 01:30 (Louisiana Time), 1 July 2016
Not really by any sense of the word: DirtyMe's the one who has been doing the reviews on this website and I'm not even a internet critic like Linkara, Nostalgia Critic, or a professional critic like Roger Ebert. I'm just a dude who's making bitter comments at random Adult CYOS pages because I'm a curious combination of angry and apathetic towards this website now.
Seriously, that time machine scene was fucking gift-wrapped for character development which would have elevated the character above the THOUSANDS of sex objects running around this website. But no. Just waste the opportunity for character development and ignore one of the basic rules of writing. Why not? It's not like you actually CARE about what you're writing. Yeah, this is a case of what MST3K called, "They Just Didn't Care"!
P.S. I haven't read that CYOS yet. Give me a summary of it, please. --Fredhot16 18:54 (Louisiana Time), 19 July 2016
Ah. Fuckin' riveting. Just...for fuck's sake, is there a actual DAMN story in the Adult CYOS section? You know, something that I could somewhat believe that it would be an actual novel? (Sorry for the tone, I'm not angry at you. This website...it just pisses me off.) --Fredhot16 19:14 (Louisiana Time), 31 July 2016
Have you ever heard of something called "SCP Foundation"? It's a website where, in a sentence, people spend time making up horror stories about a sociopathic Men In Black organization that "Secure, Contain, Protect" supernatural/extra-normal/eldritch anythings, anyones, and anyplaces that violate the known laws of reality. They range from a immortal, invulnerable alien lizard that wants to kill everything to God to the Devil to Bigfoot. Trust me, this website is one of the greatest sources of nightmare fuel on the internet. Hell, I'm surprised there's no CYOSs about SCP. There's Silent Hill, why not this?
Here's a link to many of the scary things that the SCP Foundation has: tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/NightmareFuel/SCPFoundation
Here's a link to the official website: www.scp-wiki.net/
Also, congratulations on your new house. Hope you have plenty of happy memories there. Here's a link to a wonderful Imgur post:
imgur.com/gallery/kp92B
--Fredhot16 15:46 (Louisiana Time), 5 September 2016
Well, I HIGHLY advise you to take a peek at SCP. If you're a fan of horror, this website will keep you afraid for fucking centuries. There's all types of horror here from Lovecraftian to Slasher to Aliens to simply the terrible realization that humanity, without the SCP Foundation, would be dead long before we got out of our caves. It won't be unreasonable to think that reality is, simply put, deliberately designed to kill us in a dizzying variety of horrible, bone-chilling ways. And our "heroes", our protectors, are actually somewhat monstrous themselves. Sometimes it's for science, sometimes it's out of just basic cruelty, and sometimes it's because it's the only thing to do to protect the majority of humanity.
Here's a few SCP links just for a taste:
SCP-280: www.scp-wiki.net/scp-280
SCP-993: www.scp-wiki.net/scp-993
SCP-823: www.scp-wiki.net/scp-823
SCP-772: www.scp-wiki.net/scp-772
SCP-682: www.scp-wiki.net/scp-682
SCP-610: www.scp-wiki.net/scp-610 (It even has a special name: "The Flesh That Hates".)
SCP-1983: www.scp-wiki.net/scp-1983
Now if it seems like I'm gushing over this, well, you have your fetishes and I have mine. (I am using the word "fetish" as "something that you like" and not in the sexual term. I do NOT get turned on by SCP. Though when I read something especially scary, it's hard to tell if my heart is pounding out of fear or excitement...)--Fredhot16 15:54 (Louisiana Time), 8 September 2016
So, if you had a special power, what would it be and how would you use it for...special purposes?--Fredhot16 9:44 (Louisiana Time), 9 September 2016
O.K, thanks for reminding me that I suck at innuendos. When I said "special", I meant sexual. Also, rampant mind control like that...well, honestly, it sounds...villainous. You do realize that you're just controlling them right? You can't actually change them and even if you did, that not only raises ethical issues of its own (since you're FORCING people to change, regardless of their own will) but that sort of power will frighten the shit of people and even then, you can't guarantee that you won't try making minor changes of people by the end, which might end in quite a disaster. How about a power that gives you the ability to know exactly the right words to say? That would not violate people's wills. P.S I found a website called Chick Tracts. You should check it out, it is full of the funniest shit you will find. Imagine the people who made "God's Not Dead" 1 and 2 decided to make comics and took EXTRA CRAZY PILLS. According to Chick, evolution is a religion that makes you a god and Satan loves turtleneck and slasher movie cosplay, don't you know? Also, if you tell your children that Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy exist, they will be homicidal maniacs from the age of 8 when they're faced with the truth. 8 years old are also capable of killing their cellmates, according to "Fairy Tales". Look it up, it. Is. Hilarious.--Fredhot16 12:17 (Louisiana Time), 10 September 2016
...To be honest, I can see that being useful. A bit disgusting, maybe, but useful. So how would this power work? Personally, I'd choose the power of temperature control over a certain area, able to send it into extremes of either hot or cold but also capable of subtle changes. Hand gestures would be the medium like thrusting your hands forward to Force Push someone. Not only can it be a useful power, but a little imagination can lead to perverted uses. Guess how. --Fredhot16 12:13 (Louisiana Time), 12 September 2016
Hey, Teejay. I heard about your "Sphinx" thing so do you mind if I ask you a "real talk" question? Is...is it offensive to be apathetically tolerant towards transgender people? I'm not transphobic, I just don't care if you're a man in a woman's body or a woman in a man's body. That has no factor towards my perception or relationship with you. It's on the same level as what type of soda you like to drink. If you like Pepsi, that's fine. If you like Coca-Cola, that's fine. The type of soda you like is a neutral factor to me and so how you feel about your gender. I feel uneasy about this however. I don't know how to describe it but it doesn't feel like real tolerance. It's not out of compassion, or so it seems, it's out of indifference, a sort of stolid nonchalance. I don't normally care if you're man who has been born with a vagina, it only matters to me if someone tries to give you shit about it. Your gender is your own damn business and anybody trying to fuck you over that is nothing less but a walking human-shaped piece of shit. That...feels wrong, somehow. Something that I know is a huge and incredibly complicated issue with some people just...doesn't register as something to care too much about until somebody acts like an asshole over it. It almost feels...callous. Stony-hearted. Cold. And while I'll admit that I can be a bit...lukewarm, I don't want to be cold, especially over something like this. Well? Ball's in your court, Teejay. --Fredhot16 17:08 (Louisiana Time), 21 October 2016
Hey. I found this chatroom where a bunch of people get together every night at 8:00 PM (US/EST) to riff on bad to tolerable movies like Blacula and The Amazing Bulk. I was wondering if you'd like to join. Here's the link: cytu.be/r/TroperCoven. I hope to see you there soon. --Fredhot16 11:37 (Louisiana Time), 21 November 2016
Hey, Teejay. How was your Thanksgiving? Mine wasn't bad although my family had to deal with another family of four staying over for a couple of days so I had to sleep on the couch. The couch was pretty damn comfortable, though. There was even a trip to New Orleans!--Fredhot16 11:21 (Louisiana Time), 28 November 2016
Oh, right, I forgot you had kids. Well, glad to see you had a good Thanksgiving. How old are those "munchkins" now, anyway?
And here's a weird question. I don't know where it came from but it just sprung up on me. Do you like writing erotica?--Fredhot16 18:59 (Louisiana Time), 28 November 2016
Hey, I know this is ANOTHER weird question but what would you do and how would you feel if you were suddenly a woman? Update: O.K, let me be more specific: how would you try to go through your day if you suddenly woke up a woman? How would you explain to friends, coworkers, children for example?---Fredhot16 14:57 (Louisiana Time), 5 December 2016
are you a boobs or butt man?---Fredhot16 18:33 (Louisiana Time), 12 December 2016
You must be a very calm and stolid man. Me, I'd be screaming like a little girl. Probably crying, too. When something like that happens, hysterics are understandable.
As for the "boobs or butt question", for me, it depends on what I feel that day or week. I've found that I consistently favor medium-sized breasts. Buxom's fine but it ain't my particular cup of tea. Guess I have average tastes.--Fredhot16 18:28 (Louisiana Time), 17 December 2016
Oh? You've read Dune too? The entire four-book series? (Kevin Anderson's work is dead to me.) What other book series have you read?
P.S The holidays aren't so bad so far. Saw a movie, went to a doctor, playing a game I just got recently (Ace Attorney Investigations 2). Wish there was more snow, though. Yes, I know I live in the Deep South of the Deep South but let me whine.--Fredhot16 18:38 (Louisiana Time), 17 December 2016
Ah. I see. I'm sorry for bringing it up. That was thoughtless of me to make such a baseless assumption. My deepest apologies.
Thanks for the wishes. Though I can't properly claim I'm in "Redneckistan" considering I live in a suburb in Baton Rogue. Nice suburb, too. It's even got Christmas decorations around the houses!
But have you read any other book series? Update: Anything specific?--Fredhot16 12:12 (Louisiana Time), 19 December 2016
I just spent one or two hours doing research on bra sizes and Japanese bras. Not because I WANTED to but because I had to. If you're going to mention bra sizes in the profile, YOU MUST DO IT RIGHT AND TO DO IT RIGHT, YOU MUST DO RESEARCH! 5/10ths of writing is research, 4/10ths is coming up with something good, and 1/10th is sitting down and writing. As you may have noticed, I have a problem with that last 1/10th. But I like doing the other 5/10ths. I like learning new things. Frankly, part of the reason I'm doing this research is because bra sizes keep getting thrown around here and there around the site and it just interferes with reading since I have to translate that into a visual image.
I've also heard some complaints from DirtyMe about an excess of "women" with DD jugs. And I am here to tell you that...(drumroll) not all DDs are large! DDs only mean that the bust is 5 centimeters more then the rib cage. It does not mean that the actual boobs are invariably big. Band sizes are an important factor. Bra sizes are much more complicated most people would assume. That's why there must be research. Just a little note because I feel like talking to somebody about this because I'm a know-it-all: Ex. 36B. 36 refers to the size of the rib cage and B refers to the cup size. To get the cup size, subtract the boob size by the size of the rib cage. To get the size of the rib cage, use tape around the area under the breasts themselves.
Update: Yeah, I got rid of the breast sizes in the "Classmate List". My research hit a dead end and, quite frankly, I didn't care much at the start. I just wanted to do it RIGHT.
P.S Hah, hah. Very funny. Well, "Red Stick" is a better name then Embarrass (Minnesota), Unalaska (Alaska), and Uncertain (Texas). All real names, I assure you.--Fredhot16 22:18 (Louisiana Time), 19 December 2016
Sorry, Teejay, but I don't think I'll be contributing to "Battle Royale". I'm not a fan of the franchise and I still have to do some ACTUAL work on this website on my own CYOSs.--User:Fredhot16 12:15,23 January 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Teejay, I apologize for my comment about one of your pages. I thought that it would lead to anal rape but that "Jimmy" asshole vandalized the page and I saw what you wrote when I reverted it. Yeah, egg on my face. Sorry for that. Also, didn't know you were writing funatari. You know what that is, correct?--User:Fredhot16 8:41, 20 February 2016 (Louisiana Time)
So. Do you often expand on CYOSs that people don't usually read or work on? Update: Want a list of CYOSs around the website that need some love? Just, you know, in case you're bored.--User:Fredhot16 14:41, 20 February 2016 (Louisiana Time)
Alright, here's some I found: Nudisma Terena in Mature, The Life of a Medieval Princess in Adult.
So. How did you get on this website in the first place and why did you decide to write on here?---Fredhot16 8:50 (Louisiana Time), 24 February 2017
Hey, Teejay. Just going to pop by and give some advice to your work on "Nudisma Terena".
1. Maybe you want to make the characters more...embarrassed? I mean, they're stark friggin' naked and they're aren't used to NT. Have them be deeply, deeply ashamed of their lack of clothing and act like it.
2. What kinda genre would the CYOS be? "Sexual comedy" might work since the first arc of the story would heavily involve culture shock since the PC is naked and trying to cover up will ellict some weird looks and reactions from the locals. You could get some mileage from that. This CYOS sounds like a joke, anyway.
3. The PC woke up in a apartment, if I remember correctly. Maybe you shouldn't shift to a natural enviroment so quickly. Have the PC try to get down by either stairs or elevator. Have them looking for clothes or anything to cover themselves. Just saying, you should take things slowly and try to establish the character, the setting, etc.
4. What is the PC's name? What does he or she remember? What are their features? Where do they come from? What is their background?
5. Here's some advice I got on a writer's forum on how to make Nudisma Terena make sense. It's below and in quote marks.
"Have it be a small nation untouched by western culture. Have the weather be temperate enough for nudity. Due to the small amount of people, it means that different languages can coexist since there's not a lot, and the rest can be chalked up to either monkeysphere or how gender and sexuality is expressed in culture. Since there is no western culture in place, it's fairly easy for people to derive a completely different conclusion."
Edit: Yeah, I sympathise with you, Teej. This bloody CYOS's setting makes no goddamn sense. Hell, it feels like a unfinished Adult CYOS. Come on, a country full of naked people that don't care about gender or sex when it comes to who they want to fuck? But, hey! Think of it as a challenge! Maybe you could make it make sense. Or change the setting so it's not so goddamn perverted. It's yours to shape as you see fit. Not like anyone else gives a shit about it.---Fredhot16 13:29 (Louisiana Time), 20 March 2017
Which idea is scarier: a weak, all-loving god or a all-powerful but uncaring god? ---Fredhot16 18:31 (Louisiana Time), 19 May2017
So.
I'll be blunt: I came here a couple of years ago in 2012 because I was enamored with Choose Your Own Adventures and I thought I could practice my writing here.
However, I stopped going back here a year ago because of one question: what is the point of practicing writing here if nobody will read it or give their opinions?
Not only are there few regulars here but considering the absolute plethora of smut here, what chance is there for anybody to read anything I've crafted or even give their opinion? Practice is worthless if nobody will point to the problems in your writing.
I might contribute to random Choose Your Own Adventures if I'm bored or tempted to go back to old habits of editing on here but I don't think I'll be writing anything of my own here.
If anybody wants to talk to me, though, I'll be here for that and respond.
Heck, if you want me to look at your work for suggestions or any editing ideas, I'm always up for that.
Also, is DirtyMeStoryTime still here?
Edit: Also, there's a Choose Your Own Adventure called "Katarina's Adventures" whose original writer seems to have disappeared so maybe you could take a look and see if you can do anything with it?
I'm not exactly leaving. I'll come by about every week or so. If you send a message to me here, I'll probably find it and I will definitely respond. If you want me for editing help, I'll be around for that.
As for DirtyMeStoryTime...ah.
So, you've known her (or at least have spoken to her) far more then I have. Would it be overreacting to send her a message in her mail asking if she's O.K?
High School?
Is that the one listed under "Poor Taste Stories"?
I'll give anything a go, but I want to be certain I'm working on the right story. --Robin
Okey dokey!
I'll have a look at it. I don't know the requirements, but I would think that if someone started the story and assigned it there, then that's why it's there. Quick question: are you male or female? --Robin
Gotcha!
Well . . . I'm female, and I like soccer. But I don't research any sports really. I much prefer to play them. High school was a long time ago for me, but writing for the University Daze story, has gotten me back in that mind-set. It will be fun to work on a high school setting too! --Robin
Thanks?
While the scene of me having sex with a fat chick wasn't absolutely needed, I do thank you for you contributions to Ty's Story. You are welcome to edit any time, but you don't have to make me have sex with everyone. :p
Re: Thanks? -- It's well written, and makes a lot more sense than the random crap I throw in. It's not my place to censor you and it's good enough for me not just to kill myself off at every option. Thank you for showing interest in further story development. Also, I agree with many of the people here, the sex scenes are very good (although the mental image of Monica is disgusting).
I'm sorry for your loss, and for me acting disgusted (in my defense, I'm pretty sure "bowling ball with limbs" was supposed to make that reaction). I noticed that, and I think I'll branch from some of the nonsexual options. I'll leave you to any erotica, you're way better at that.
Nice job
You are great at adult stories! I mean.. Just wanted to say that. Thanks in helping me out. --Orpheus 21:15, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
Supershifter
Hey... I was kind of planning some other stuff for Supershifter, and while I appreciate the assistance, I didn't put a link to it on the main page for a reason. Again, I appreciate the help, but could you let me flesh it out first? I'll put it onto the main page when I feel it's ready to go public.
So could you wait before you edit it anymore, please? I DO have plans for it, but it takes me a lot of time to write them out because I want to be descriptive and consistent. Once it's public, you can add anything you want. Or, if you really want to help out right now, I don't really know what "you" could do with "your" powers at, say, the beach. So that could be useful.
I'm planning on putting this in the Adult section, so "you" can use your power in whatever way you want, from being a genuinely kindhearted soul to being a despicable rapist who cannot be taken down, (or anything in-between.) Just something to keep in mind if you continue to help.
So you can work on another location, but please, I would like to do this branch myself.
Avast!
I appreciate your help for the Avast! story, but I hope you don't mind if I edit some of your pages in order to create hooks towards the various plots I have in mind. Also be aware that I'm a somewhat fussy person: I may edit other people's contributions for no adequately explained reason other than the fact that I wouldn't have written it this way. -- -Sentinel-, 2010-10-11
Oh, one more thing: I like my stories to be rather more detailed... If a quest can be completed too easily, there's not much fun in it.
PAGNM
Thank you for your addition to PAGNM. I cannot claim credit for starting the story, but I've worked on quite a large chunk of it, and I was wondering if anyone else was even reading. You took it in a direction I would not have thought of myself, so I just wanted to show my appreciation. --Cannon 02:02, 11 January 2011 (UTC)
Thank You
I just wanted to thank you for adding to my story... I was begining to think, I'd have to do it all myself. Seeing how I'm not a guy, those sections are harder for me to come up with.
Alien Adventure
Thank you for your additions to Alien Adventure. I'm a little bummed it was an ending, but at the same time, it just wouldn't be a Choose Your Own Adventure without endings. Thanks for making it a good one. And feel free to continue editing Alien Adventure to your heart's content. I love your style! --Cannon 21:40, 24 May 2011 (UTC)
Metropolis Power Plant
Thank you for adding the Smutty Sex Romp locations pages for the Metropolis Power Plant and Parasite's Hideout. It completely slipped my mind. Also, your addition, "Try to wear Livewire out," is awesome! Can you give me some writing tips? --Cannon 14:20, 26 May 2011 (UTC)
"Megan" addition
Hey, thanks for the page beginning for the final scene, I had been putting it off until the end because I didn't quite know how I wanted to present it. I appreciate the work, and I'll probably use it as a framework (since I do prefer the pages to be a little bit longer, especially the ending scene), but you've definitely given me a start to it. Thanks, bro.
While we're at it, any complaints with the story so far? Too violent? Not violent enough? Do you happen to have a favorite kill?
I'm planning on finishing it really soon, and a few of the upcoming weapons/methods include a gun, a baseball bat, and power tools. --TheElderOnes 20:51, 12 June 2011 (UTC)
War Pigs
I appreciate your contributions to my story. Regrettably, it was not intended to be publicly edited. Although your additions are very well written, they're inconsistent with the main story and the characters.
I apologize for this inconvenience, as I did not make it clear that my story was only supposed to be edited by myself. --AgentVincent 19:44, 10 July 2011 (UTC)
Re:
Thanks, I appreciate it. I haven't read Rescue myself, but I'll probably check it now.
I'll wait and see how my story progresses before I open it up for public editing. --AgentVincent
MOTDE
Hey man, you're always an quality writer. Haven´t seen a bad page from you yet! The text you wrote fits perfectly with the overall feel of the story. I always thought it was hard writing swordfights btw.
Kind of had other plans for the effects of the duel through. All four options are marked with B1 or B2 (you can only see it in the edit, not the actual article). I do this to keep track of decisions that affect the competition with Solaria. I figured that if you lose then Solaria´s soldiers would steal the princesses away (thus taking points away) but if you win then the huntresses would be able to successfully repel the enemies.
The B means that you took the path through the market road and then acquired the generals head as a trophy. The 1 or 2 that follows signifies if you won or lost against Solaria. But if you had taken the (yet unwritten) temple road, marked with a C, then you would have acquired a different trophy.
I´m very undecided on what to do with Minvir through. I kind of want to keep her fate similar no matter what happens in the duel with Solaria (killing her off in battle if Daine defeats Solaria). But I´m not sure I want to write her off or not. Making Trix the new and young second-in-commander opens up new elements in the story but closes others. I´m not sure if the new elements are better, or if they can be implemented in other ways.
...
Oh thanks for writing the rest of the page! Great as always and I appreciate the effort. I might pad it somewhat through.
Dankeschön
Yeah, Megan is finally done. That's a giant weight off of my shoulders. It's funny, it was meant to be a quick 23-page story written out of boredom, but personal life, planning, re-planning, and revisions ended up making it take forever.
And by god, were there some revisions. The entire final page, "Return home", was only a fourth of the length of what it is now. I had originally been using the Quick, Good, Brutal system like you had outlined on it, but I ended up dropping it in favor of Megan recording a message for everyone (I couldn't help but reference WLB with Jack and Sarah. I'll probably be writing that next...) before she did herself in. The gun and power tool pages are still on my to-do list, but they'll be a future endeavor, a little update of sorts for another day.
And, uh... yeah, that's it. Guess I rambled there, but yeah. And now that I mention WLB, I'm sure you've found your way to it by now. But, overall, thanks for the congratulations. --TheElderOnes 20:35, 11 September 2011 (UTC)
Just throwing my response onto here, seeing as it'd be pretty relevant here and I don't want to clutter up your Talkpage with more headers.
Yeah... I know I can be pretty rough on myself when it comes to stuff I've written. I guess it was just that, looking back on it almost four years later made me go "Oh god, X should have happened instead of that, it would have made more sense" and "Why on earth would X Y when they could have just Z?" I'm my own biggest critic, no doubt about that. Thanks, though. It's always good to know that as bad as I personally think it is/was, someone enjoyed it. Maybe a rewrite really is in order. Before I do that, though, I'm forcing myself to complete The Diary. Once that's done. that'll be one of three stories I have planned (bits of which are scattered across notebooks and hard drives) as pre-stories to another one.
Again, though, thank you. I always love hearing what people think about stuff I've written, even if it's negative. Thank you, man. --TheElderOnes 16:29, 20 February 2014 (UTC)
Re: Mind Reading?
Thanks man. I'm trying to get over a massive writer's block thats preventing me from continuing War Pigs and your comments mean a lot. --AgentVincent 23:12, 19 September 2011 (UTC)
We'll have to see about that...
Also, I really need to get back to War Pigs soon. I may open it up for more people to edit, just so long as they understand the personalities of the characters.--AgentVincent
Thanks man! I've been tied down to college work, which has been getting in the way of submitting contributions to this site. When I have free time, I'm going to try to get more pages written. AgentVincent 04:42, 30 January 2013 (UTC)
Remember
Do not touch my story!.....
Only joking. Thank you so much for doing that. I haven't been able to write up much on my story because of my tests happening at the moment. So I really appreciate all the help. But I suggest not to make anymore pages from now on. Well, not for the next week at least, I'm about to make the story move forward a fair bit. (SPOILERS ->) By letting him choose. --Heyoeveryone 4 November 2011
Teejay! Can you do me a favor? Is it okay if you can write for me: R: Try to piss him off. I can't seem to think up off any smart comebacks. My requirements for the page:
- At least three lines of dialogue
- Limit the swearing to only low amounts
- Have the choices: R: Smash the Walkie Talkie and R: "Hey man, when can I decide who shall leave?"
- Have at least 500 characters
You don't have to do it if you really don't want to. --Heyoeveryone 07:45, 8 November 2011 (UTC)
That page you did. That was almost spot on to what they were as kids. Spoiler: Thing is, that they weren't good friends as a child, they were actually brothers. With the kidnapper being the younger one. Richard used to always bully the voice. End Spoilers. I;'m going to edit it so that it matches my story. Anyways, you managed to make the story move forward extremely fast. Which is good. --Heyoeveryone 09:14, 28 November 2011 (UTC)
More Avast!
Hi Teejay. I've been looking at a few of your additions to Avast! -- it's a good story, isn't it? I'm excited by the two new avenues you added here. I suppose I'm asking if you've got Big PlansTM for them, or if they're open to edit by anyone. I'm not exactly asking for them myself, since I've got a limited amount of time for writing and I'm still hoping -Sentinel- will get back to me, giving me permission to get stuck into the story with more than just my trusty Typo Cutlass. But I'd love to know what your intentions on them are. JackalRobot 17:55, 23 November 2011 (UTC)
2nd person
I'm really trying to keep Rampage and Smutty Sex Romp as 2nd person, choose your own adventure stories, not 3rd person, choose-what-the-other-character-are-doing stories. Picking what your character sees when she opens a door is kind of straying from 2nd person to 3rd person. So I'm going to combine a couple pages there to keep in everything you wrote, but snip out the choice that really isn't something your character could choose. --Platypus 15:54, 21 June 2012 (UTC)
I do enjoy colloborating with you and it's great watching a story weave back and forth as your ideas spark ideas for me and vice versa, but give me a little chance after I create a new page before taking the ball and running with it. Okay? --Platypus 17:51, 25 June 2012 (UTC)
Thanks. That's all I'm asking for. --Platypus 18:16, 25 June 2012 (UTC)
Sorry, but with restraint
I am sorry for the poor etiquette but the apology is with constraint. Although I did not specifically mark it as private, I believe that the description by the title was decently clear that editting was not welcome. If you didn't get that message, sorry for your misconceptions. Furthermore, in editting, it does note that material may be removed by others. I understand that it is bad etiquette and I will restrain from repeating such actions but I did excercise my rights as deemed by the site's usage. Once again, sorry for the inconvenience --Liger0sch
