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Aruseus Emails/differentbody
From Wuw Archive
Cast (in order of appearence): Aruseus, Kyubii, Homestar, King of Town, Strong Mad, Fang, Tom
Places: Computer Room, Kyubii's Room, White Screen, Strongbadia, The Field
Date: June 8, 2007
Computer: Taily 400
Transcript
{Cut to the Computer Room, the A-Tech 950's screen is static, Aruseus is constantly bumping the side of the computer with his hand.}
ARUSEUS: Why won't the A-Tech work?
{Kyubii walks in}
ARUSEUS: Hey, Kyubii. I need a favor.
KYUBII: Yea?
ARUSEUS: Can you take over this email? You have a computer.
KYUBII: That's true, but, why can't you just use mine?
ARUSEUS: The A-Tech needs me and I don't want to leave it alone like this.
KYUBII: Whatever.
{Cut to the interface of Kyubii's computer, the Taily 400.}
KYUBII: Ok. Let's get this trainwreck a-rollin'.
{Kyubii types, "run_arumail.exe"}
Subject:pie?Dear Aruseus,
If you could change your body in any way or
have a different body than the one you have now, what would
you have?
Um,
A guy.
KYUBII: {typing} Oh wow. I don't really know. There could be many things I could wish for. Hmm...
{Cut to a white screen, Kyubii is on it}
KYUBII: Well, one change I might make is that my hind legs would be replaced by wheels. You know, so I could go fast, maybe faster than that blue spiky porcupine thing...
{Kyubii's hind legs turn to wheels, and Kyubii darts off the screen with a "va-room" sound}
KYUBII: Oh! Or maybe I could have robot claws for arms, so then I'd be like one of those horse-man guys, with four legs and two arms.
{Robot claws appear near Kyubii's neck area, and start clamping.}
{Cut back to Taily}
KYUBII: {typing} But most of all, if I could do anything with my body...
HOMESTAR: Hey! Where's the Aruseus at?
KYUBII: Homestar! Get out! I'm filling in for him!
HOMESTAR: Right. So uh...you want to know-
KYUBII: No.
HOMESTAR: Okay. {runs off}
{Kyubii returns to the email}
KYUBII: {typing} I would... {stops typing} Aw, crap! Homestar made me lose my train of thought.
HOMESTAR: It's right here!
{Homestar throws a wooden train at Kyubii}
KYUBII: OW! GET OUT! Now where was I? {typing} Oh, yeah! I would basically be one of those jar heads like on that show with the redhead...in the future...
{Cut to KOT Castle, Kyubii's head is in a jar}
KYUBII: {voiceover} And I would get someone to place me in people's houses to annoy them to no end!
{The King of Town walks past Kyubii}
KYUBII: Hey, oldie! You have a spot on your robe!
KOT: Wha?
KYUBII: {voiceover} And the rest of me would get a nice life of luxury.
{Cut to Strongbadia, the fence has a sign that says, "Strongbadian Resort". Kyubii's body lays on a lawnchair, Strong Mad walks by with a tray with a Thai Iced Tea}
STRONG MAD: I GOT YOU THIS STUFF!
{Cut back to Taily}
KYUBII: {typing} So there you go, Might Guy. In fact, I may be onto something with that jar idea. Hold on. {walks out}
{Cut to The Field, Kyubii is laying on a large guillotine, Fang is holding a lever}
FANG: Are you sure about this?
KYUBII: Yeah.
FANG: Just in case you don't live, I have one question to ask.
KYUBII: Hmm?
FANG: How could you afford this?
KYUBII: Just pull the freakin' lever!
FANG: Ok.
{Fang pulls the lever and the blade rushes down. Cut back to Taily}
KYUBII: {typing} Well, I decided not to do it. So untill next time...uh...Aruseus will be back.
{The Taily displays a pop-up that reads, "Click here to email Aruseus"}
{5 second wait}
KYUBII: What they don't know won't hurt them. Secretary of Transportation?
{Tom walks in with a jar and a tuxedo}
TOM: Yes?
{Kyubii takes his head and stick it in the jar}
KYUBII: To Marzipan's House!
{Tom walks off}
