Wikihood 2/eps/14
From The Wikihood
Shadow Scythe, Big Ol' Tree The CBU, Y2K, Strong Bad, Stinkoman K, Strong Sad, Ekul, Nived, Strong Sader, Willon, Dark Cater, Homsar {Open with a brief reminder of the previous episode's events. Then cut to a close-up view on Shadow Scythe. It is unclear where he is.}
SHADOW SCYTHE: {Thinking} Huh... where am I?
VOICE: You are in the entrance to the simulator.
SHADOW SCYTHE: A simulator? A simulator of what?
VOICE: {Becomes more synthetic and computer-like as it's speech progresses.} The Free Country USA Simulator copyright 2007 Coconut Productions.
SHADOW SCYTHE: Now, hold on. I'm in a Free Country simulator? That's cool and all, but I'm looking for Nyjole. Any idea where he is, mysterious stranger?
COMPUTER (FORMALLY THE VOICE): He has also been logged in.
SHADOW SCYTHE: Okay.... Well, thanks for your time and all. Now I just have to get out of this boring entrance place!
{Shadow Scythe fades away. Cut to the big ol' tree. Shadow Scythe pops up, dangling from it.}
SHADOW SCYTHE: O DER. This isn't helpful.
{The big ol' tree howls and tries to take a bite out of Shadow Scythe, who barely wriggles out of the way.}
SHADOW SCYTHE: That's it, you tree. It's scythe time!
{A short, upbeat theme plays, as Shadow reaches for his scythe, but realizes it isn't there. The music slows down and deepens until it stops.}
SHADOW SCYTHE: Uh... somebody help!
{The CBU teleports in, with a couple of soldiers.}
CBU: Seize the impostor! {pauses} W-wait. Oh man. {to squad} Go back, Apoc needs us.
{The CBU and the soldiers teleport away.}
{Y2K teleports in. The Superman theme starts playing.}
Y2K: {booming heroically} Did someone say, {The background turns blue with a ripple effect, and the camera zooms in on Y2K, who now appears to be wearing a cape.} "Virus Power?!"
STRONG BAD: {offscreen} No, crap for brains.
{The camera zooms out and pans to reveal Strong Bad, who is right next to him. The music distorts and halts, the background reverts to what it was before with a ripple effect, and the cape comes off Y2K.}
STRONG BAD: Shadow Scythe just called for help. No-one said, {The background turns blue with a ripple effect again, Y2K disappears, and Strong Bad is wearing the cape this time. His voice is booming heroically.} "Virus Pow"—
Y2K: {offscreen} HEY!!
{The music halts without distorting, the background reverts to what it was before with a ripple effect, and the camera zooms out. Y2K reappears, and the cape comes off Strong Bad.}
Y2K: Only I can do that, you crap for br--
{Strong Bad tackles Y2K and they get into a fist fight. Stinkoman K walks in}
STINKOMAN K: How did the first episode of season two go on without me?! Ah, well.
{Stinkoman K jumps into the fist fight for no reason. Cut to the Cryo chamber room, Willon rises from the wreckage of the destroyed Cryo chamber. He is severely wounded. Nived is on the ceiling. He falls to the floor}
NIVED: What... happened?
{Nived takes his device and clamps it to Dark Sader. Cut to Sader's mind, with several Niveds}
WHITE NIVED: Take them out of his mind!
{All the Sader's are detained except for Dark Sader and Meek Sader, who is hiding behind a computer bank.}
WHITE NIVED: Mission complete! Dark Sader, return to your duties. {He and the other Nived leave, taking the ten Saders detained with them.}
{The Saders are all put into a cat's mind, and the cat is put into a cage. Then, all the Chwokas are put into a lizard's}
NIVED: Heh heh heh... That should solve that problem.
{Cut back to Strong Sader's mind. Dark Sader is at the control panel of the computer.}
DARK SADER: Ah, now back to business!
MEEK SADER: {Sneaks up behind with a fire extinguisher.} Not quite.
{Meek Sader smacks Dark Sader over the back of the head with the extinguisher, he falls like a log. In the real world, Strong Sader's eyes turn blue, he sidles slightly as if queasy.}
WILLON: Anything wrong, Dark Sader?
MEEK SADER: Um, yes! Um... {Coughs and imitates Dark Sader's voice} Um, yeah. It's just those idiots made a real mess in here.
NIVED: Hrph. Apparently we must have damaged his confidence in there.
MEEK SADER: Yeah... I'll just take the cat and lizard and... torture them... {Picks up the Sader Cat and the Will Lizard.}
NIVED: Good.
{Nived puts away the mind invasion and the corrupter machines. Cut to the simulator input chairs.}
MEEK SADER: Now for some rearranging... {Places the cat, the lizard and himself in the chairs, the helmets activate.}
{Cut to the simulation, Chwoka and Vanhock appear there. The Saders appear in Strong Sader's mind with Meek Sader. Dark Sader disappears.}
STRONG SADER: Whoa... Thanks, Meek Sader. Where'd Dark Sader go?
MEEK SADER: In to the brain of a very special cat...
{Cut to the field.}
SHADOW SCYTHE: That's great and all, but I'm still-
{Pan left to see Shadow Scythe still dangling from the big ol' tree, upside down, looking beaten up.}
SHADOW SCYTHE: -stuck in this tree, without a clue what is going on, mainly because my blood is rushing into my head. I think I'm slowly losing consciousness.
HOMESTAR: Ohh...that would make sense.
MARZIPAN: You never make sense, Homesta-
HOMESTAR: Yeah, yeah, whatever.
{OOC: Strong Sad is not in the simulation.}
{Cut to a random person on a computer. Strong Sad pops up}
STRONG SAD: Attention user! If you want to be a part of the League of Evil, an organization that will soon rule the planet, send us an email. The world will get a taste of power soon...
STRONG BAD: {Muffled from his cast} Crap! Strong Sad's still taken over! I must help!
HOMSAR: AAaaAAaAAAaaaaAaAa!! The Loooooooooooooeeeee will be the super people. The shoes will ruuule! And the cods will pooooo!!
STRONG SAD: Wrong computer. {leaves}
HOMSAR: {Upper Class English Accent} I say! I think I have somehow acquired super intelligence! Top-ho, what!
SHADOW SCYTHE: {Finally tumbles down from the tree} Ow. {Inches away from tree} This isn't right. Evil Strong Sad? And now a completely pointlessly intelligent Homsar? Somebody please explain what the crazy is going on here.
{Cut to the real world, Nived is editing the simulation.}
NIVED: There, now we have a Homsar that's evil and intelligent as well a having Strong Sad.
WILLON: Ugh. What happened? I feel like I was controlled by someone else mildly in-character and let a major security slip happen to advance the writer's cause...
PLOTMAN: PLOT! {Repairs the fourth wall}
{Cut to Noxigar outside Strong Sader's house}
NOXIGAR: This is it. Now to legitimise them papers. {Noxigar gets out a paper with his name in cursive handwriting and on red ink on the signature box. It explains that he agrees to accept Wikihood's rules.}
{Noxigar knocks outside the door} {OOC: I'm not really sure what to do as far as this point. - Noxi, No. 0 of Organization XIII}
{OOC: Well, right now some people are outside the system}
{Cut to Nived}
NIVED: There's projections of the Homestar Runner Characters, so perhaps we can project ourselves from this technology if we convert it.
{Cut to Ekul, who hides his simulation chair in a secret room and starts to work on it.}
{Cut to the field, Noxigar walks onscreen.}
NOXIGAR: Eric told me Strong Sader isn't home and to meet him here to legitimise my papers. Who are you, good sir?
{Cut back to the chairs, Strong Sader stealthily sneaks up along side Ekul.}
STRONG SADER: Whacha you doin'?
EKUL: I'm hiding my simulation jack so that I can be safe and I'm modifying it so that I'll always be able to log in and out without LoE interference.
{Pan right a bit, showing a screen displaying Y2K inside the simulation explaining things to Shadow Scythe. The words Y2K says are inaudible, but Shadow seems to understand them.}
{Willon walks in front of the screen.}
WILLON: Well, this is...interesting.
{cut to the LoE. A wall labeled "4th Wall" has been smashed. Dark Cater and Nived are looking through it.}
NIVED: Uh, this is already reality... We're breaking the real fourth wall?!?!?!?
PLOTMAN: {flying in.} PLO- {Nived nonchalantly zaps Plotman with a freeze ray without looking up.}
ANTI-PLOTMAN: PLOT! {tears down the 4th Wall completely.}
WILLON: {off-screen} Seems there's a bit of confusion...from where you are now, there's 3 more levels leading up to ACTUAL reality. I can see them now. We're part of a elaborate fan-fiction community. DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?
NIVED: Then... The fanfiction writers could simply be in a book!
WILLON: No, if the fanfiction writers were in a book, I would be able to see the texty, like I can see the text that I'm seeing right now. But what this means is that we will lose eventually...the good guys always win in any type of fiction, and there's no way to get into the real real real world at all. We'd stop existing.
{Cut to the screen from before with Y2K and Shadow Scythe on it. After Y2K's done explaining, he grabs his one-man army axe, Shadow Scythe finds his scythe and grabs it, and they run offscreen. Cut back to the secret chair, Ekul is working on the connection, while Strong Sader is working on the helmet.}
STRONG SADER: I'd say we're just about done.
EKUL: Perfect. Now, how did you find me here?! I'm in the ceiling.
{Pan down to see that it's in a hallway with a ceiling tile removed.}
STRONG SADER: Simple, I was already hiding in the airducts, and I heard you working on the machinery, so I followed to noises to you.
EKUL: Ah, I see. Well, shall we adapt yours too?
STRONG SADER: Better had. We'll need a back-up chair.
{Timecard: "30 Minutes Later..." Strong Sader brings his chair into the secret room.}
WILLON: {voice} Hey, Strong Sader and Ekul have moved their chairs to a different place. Unfortunatly, I have no idea where it is. C'mon, camera pan!
{Cut back to Ekul, who has finished installing a hologram to the ceiling tile.}
EKUL: ...there. Now this place is completely unreachable except if you know exactly where it is. They could open the ceiling panel right now and not see us.
{The ceiling tile opens and Willon sticks his head through and ducks out}
NIVED: {voice} I told you they wouldn't be in the ceiling.
{Willon leaves.}
STRONG SADER: Great work! Now one of us will have to log into the simulation to check on things.
EKUL: Yes! And even better, they can't take our bodies unless we give them permission. I'll go in if you want.
STRONG SADER: Right, I'll stay here and make sure no one finds out about this. You go check on things, secifically Chwoka and Vanhock. Remember, we can't risk being detected by those crapholes down there, so fast in, fast out.
{A laser charging sound is heard, and a Willon clone jumps down, armed. His clothes are now black.}
WILLON CLONE: You aren't going anywhere! {locks the door and fries the key.} There's two choices: Attempt to escape and be thwarted... {as he says that, it shows two cuts of Nived in the air vent, Dark Sader just outside the door, and Strong Mad outside a wall, all armed.} ...Let me kill you...or sit down in that chair. What's it gonna be?
{Ekul laughs and a wristband on his arm glows}
EKUL: You know why Nived isn't in here and you are? Because he knows about... THIS!
{Ekul shoots out a gigantic wave of icy wind. The Willon clone freezes solid. Cut to Dark Cater, who sees the wave emenating. He uses his catlike reflexes to run away barely. The Strong Mad hologram fizzles out. Cut back to Ekul, grimacing}
EKUL: Ouch... It's a good thing he forgot about my powers... Strong Sader, we've got to hide these chairs. Let's go.
{Ekul wheels his chair out of the area. Cut to Nived next to Dark Cater.}
NIVED: It's just as I thought. I knew that foolish Willon would choose to barge right in. He really should have kept his Smart side.
{The ceiling collapses, and Y2K falls with it. He gets up, dusts himself off, and sees Nived and Dark Cater.}
Y2K: {seeming unsurprised} Whoa, I had no idea I'd find you two here. Oh, well. {suddenly yearning to fight} Time to put an end to this! {As he says this, he telepathically generates an icy-hot katana from the heat in the vent and some water from the cooler outside. He then grabs the katana and attacks Nived and Dark Cater.}
{Cut to Strong Sader's house, it's dusty and full of cobwebs. Ekul and Strong Sader plug the chairs into Strong Sader's computer.}
STRONG SADER: Alright, we'll use this place as a base for now. {Sneezes} Wow, I had no idea we'd been gone this long. I should be able to make a remote link to the simulation through the computer's internet connection, then we'll key ourselves in and check on the guys.
EKUL: Good work. I've always wanted to live in one of these things. Got any fish?
{Cut back to the middle of a fight with Y2K He hits Nived, who goes flying across the room. Nived groans and stands up, with a burn on his arm.}
NIVED: You'll pay for that one
{Nived shoots burst into the air and Y2K goes flying. Then he creates a small point of gravity that causes Y2K to get stuck so that he just floats.}
NIVED: Heh. That was pretty quick. Let me just get your weapon.
{Nived uses another gravity well to take the katana out of his hand}
NIVED: Next time, have a plan. Goodbye.
{Nived exits the area. Cut back to Strong Sader's house, he hands Ekul a bucket of fish. He successfully makes the connection.}
EKUL: Delicious. Good work. Now, they may suspect we come here because of Dark Sader, so we should take some sort of precaution...
STRONG SADER: That's why I rigged every room in the house with at least twelve Evilon Detectorizor 2000s. If anyone evil enters the house, they'll get fried on the spot.
(OOC: I'm sorry, but ever since I let Dark Sader, obviously taken over by Meek Sader, pass through my defences, I can't be smart AND act in character anymore. SOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY.)
{Ekul sits in the simulation chair. Cut to the simulation. Ekul walks to Strong Bad's house. He is sitting all alone}
EKUL: Strong Bad? Why are you alone?
STRONG BAD: I'm in this dumb cast and Strong Sad, Strong Mad and The Cheat are missing. I can't even get food...
{Strong Sader pops into existance.}
STRONG SADER: Ekul, I just saw a reading on the computer, we have to go, NOW!
{Homestar runs in.}
HOMESTAR: You guys, you guys! The other poeples are acting all weird and such.
{The remaining 7 of the H*R cast burst in with evil glowing eyes.}
{Strong Bad bursts into flames from the heat given off by the character's eyes.}
STRONG BAD: Not agaaaaaaaiin!
{Ekul grabs Homestar and Strong Bad and stuffs him into his mind. Then he logs off. He then sits up}
EKUL: Wow. This place is weiwd.
{Cut to the simulation}
STRONG SADER: Ekul, I'll stay and negotiate. Now, what are you here for?
{Ekul looks at the computer. He sees the rest of FCUSA. Or as it's now called, LoEUSA.
COACH Z: WE AER THE LoE. YOU WILL ASSIMILORTED!
{The cast go to capture Strong Sader. Chwoka and Vanhock run in and lock the door.}
CHWOKA: Vanhock, we need a plan.
{THE END shows, as "CLIFFFHANGAR!" in squealed.}
Synopsis
CAST (in order of appearence): {{{3}}}
Transcript
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