Wikihood 2/eps/13
From The Wikihood
Chwoka, Vanhock, Willon, Homestar, ApocalypX, Combine Commander, X-Bot, Etna, Lord X, Combine Forces, The G-Man, Strong Sader {Chwoka and Vanhock are floating in a purplish zone}
CHWOKA: Must be Will's subconscious.
VANHOCK: Well, I can see the conscious over there, why don't we go over there?
CHWOKA: Because there's a forcefield.
VANHOCK: Ooohhhhhh.
{cut to Willon}
WILLON: Ugh...
{cut to FCUSA. Homestar is standing there.}
HOMESTAR: Running round the field... WOOSH-
{Homestar hits a door.}
HOMESTAR: What's a door doing in the middle of nowhere?
{The door reads "Way Out"}
HOMESTAR: Hmm...
{Homestar goes through the door. Cut to the real world. Apoc is standing behind a podium. Behind him is, X-Bot, Lord X, Etna, the G-Man and the Combine Commander (refered as the CBU) watching. Apoc is talking to the Combine army. Behind the army is a country in ruins.}
APOC: The world is in chaos, the people in tears. We will finish this planet off. We will annihilate all in our way. We. Will. Rule.
{The Combine cheer.}
APOC: But, there are few who will stand in our way. {close up.} FIND THE SIMULATION!!!
{Cut back to the simulation. Strong Sader is talking to some guys }
STRONG SADER: -So that's what happened while the King of Town was in a coma.
PLOTMAN: Plot?
EVIL PLOTMAN: PLOT! {stabs Strong Sader. Strong Sader respawns, alive. (unlucky, huh?) He stabs him again.}
HOMSAR: SETTING! {Eats both Plotmen}
STRONG SADER: {Still alive from the second stabbing. } Ow.
EKUL: I've got a bad feeling about this... Darlon in the real world? We can't stay in the simulation. We need a way out.
STRONG SADER: {Pale in the face} Good luck. The only way out is to log out. Oh, that reminds me, I shoulda saved Meek Sader maybe.
{Cut to Meek Sader floating in White space.}
MEEK SADER: Hello? I'm getting really hungry! {evil living hamburger appears. Meek Sader screams.}
{cut to Will's subconscious.}
CHWOKA: Hey, Vanhock...I got a idea.
VANHOCK: What is it?
CHWOKA: You got any sugar?
VANHOCK: Yeah. I always keep 5 packets in my wallet.
CHWOKA: Excellent.
{a card says "To be continued in Ep. 14a: Brain Battle!". Cut to FCUSA. Cut back to Meek Sader.}
MEEK SADER: I have to escape! {Edits a portal} Wait, couldn't I have done this before? {Groans}
{Cut to a beach, Eric has fallen on the ground head-first. There is a 5 second pause, then he gets up.}
ERIC: {Opens mouth, lots of sand comes out of his mouth.} Artificial sand. Bleugh. Where am I anyways? {looks around}
THE MU: {suspiciously appears} We're in Some Beach. Can't you read? {points to sign reading "Some Beach"}
{Cut to the field, a door appears in the coding. Meek Sader steps out.}
MEEK SADER: I can't believe I just spent two days in that place...
EKUL: It appears an anomaly programmed by an unknown person programmed your powers back in. Who is this mystery person?
STRONG SADER: Me. I used the file I removed from Dark Sader's model to restore our powers and put an unbreakable encryption code on it to make sure they can never be removed again.
STRONG PILE OF ASH: ... {comes back alive}
STRONG BAD: SWEET LADY LIFE! I'll never leave you again...So, anyway, I bet I could break the encryption code!
{Strong Bad leaps at Strong Sader, but is stopped by some kind of force field.}
COMPUTER: MODERATOR ATTACK! DEFENCE MODE ACTIVATED!
STRONG BAD: Uh oh...
{Strong Bad is struck by a bolt of lightening, burning him. A swipe effect occurs. Strong Bad is in a body cast again.}
STRONG SADER: Well, folks, the moral of this story is... um... little help guys?
HOMSAR: Never eat cheese past 6 in the afternooooooooooon...
STRONG SADER: Okay... Anyway, "Willon" is outside the simulation, and according to the data avaidable, Apoc and his Family mannaged to discharge themselves from the simulator as well.
EKUL: That's not good. There's got to be a way out. I suppose I could try to short out my headset with freezing powers, but that could damage the system or myself.
STRONG SADER: I wouldn't advise it, we could shut off life support. In that case, all of the others would die.
EKUL:How about an evacuation trigger? It would minimize human risks, but damage the system. Does Wikihood have one?
STRONG SADER: Yeah, but it gets shut off when the Lockdown activates.
HOMSAR: It's time to bring out the heavy arteries...
{Cut to the real world (at the helmet center). The computer has binary flowing super fast, while "LOCKDOWN" is written over it in red. The Lockdown text gives way to "Lockdown over" in blue. Cut back to the simulation.}
ROBOTIC VOICE: Bugs fixed. Thank you for waiting patiently for the lockdown to end. Feel free to leave.
STRONG SADER: Oh, good! Now maybe we can-
ROBOTIC VOICE: LOCKDOWN RE-ENGAGED!
EKUL: What!? How could this happen?
{Cut outside. Willon has disconnected the "Logout Cable."}
WILLON: Sorry idiots, but I can't have you snooping around here.
EKUL: Hmm... Is there a procedure where the system is forced to eject something as a bug fixer?
SRONG SADER: Well... We could use the code generation modual. It will turn our coding into matter, while leaving our real world bodies locked in the chairs.
EKUL: In other words, a hologram? Hmm... This could be more useful than it seems...
STRONG SADER: The holograms are made out of hard light, so they'll be able to interact physically, but out prjection moduals will be weak to attack.
EKUL: Perfect. Let's try it.
{A fadey, hologram-like slightly glitched Chwoka appears}
CHWOKA: Hey guys, how do you do? {disappears}
STRONG SADER: Hm... Chwoka's code is still embedded in the Simulation. So if I... {Alters some code. Chwoka fully materialises.}
CHWOKA: {pukes} God, you have no idea how disorienting almost existing is.
VANHOCK: {pukes} You said it.
BUBS: Puking is $8!
STRONG SADER: So, what's semi-existance like?
CHWOKA: Lots of {pukes} numbers. But that's probably because I'm just digital now.
EKUL: Digital, eh? So your consiousness has been copied onto the simulation? Hmm... That is strange...
STRONG SADER: Darlon's inhabiting your real world body. Does your body have any weaknesses, apart from the obvious one.
EKUL: Strong Sader, can we take Chwoka's shadow with us?
STRONG SADER: Well, technically we could, but because he isn't really in existance, he'll have to share a vessel with one of us.
CHWOKA: Actually, I'm kinda like a NPC in here. I can't escape to the real world. But5 I know that I also have a residual singal, along with Vanhock, inside Will's subconcious. (OOC: Is it OK if I start on Ep. 14a?}
STRONG SADER: Okay, Chwoka, I'll entrust you with some basic mod powers to regulate the simulation while we're gone. {Gives Chwoka a glowing orb.}
{Re: OOC: Um... 'K.}
CHWOKA: Ummm...I can't. I can't be a moderator. Besides, when Darlon comes back, he'll get the mod powers.
{cut to Will's subconcious. Vanhock has torn off the top of the packet of sugar.}'
CHWOKA: Ok, now eat it.
VANHOCK: Erm...ok...{empties the packet into his mouth. His pupils grow smaller.}
CHWOKA: ...Well?
{Vanhock's eyes grow to gigantic porportians.}
VANHOCK: I'MMMMMMMM...MAYONNAISE MANNNNN!
CHWOKA: {coughs} Mayonnaise Man! Help!
MAYONNAISE MAN: What is it, young horsefly?
CHWOKA: I can't break through the invisible wall!
MAYONNAISE MAN: Don't worry, I'll use my PHONE VISION!
{Mayonnaise Man stares directly at the wall, and Phones launch out of his eyes, shattering the conscious wall.}
DARLON: What!? How the heck did-
{Mayonnaise Man (who is now Vanhock sleeping), Chwoka, and Darlon flies towards eachother and fuse to become Will. Cut outside the brain, infront of the White House.}
WILLON: Yes...yes...I will take over America...
{Willon appears to have a seizure, and when he gets back off the ground, his eyes are no longer red.}
WILL: Owwww...what happened? Why am I infront of the white house? Holy crud! I need to get back to the simulation! {runs off}
{cut to the simulation room. Will runs downstairs.}
WILL: Ok, now all I have to do is key in-{eyes glow red} Why am I here? I'm blowing this place.
(OOC: NOOOOOOOOO!)
WILLON: But first...{sits down, and separates the files of the LoE from their counterparts, and shuts off the lockdown, but you need a password.}
{cut to the simulation}
ROBOTIC VOICE: Lockdown off.
STRONG SADER: Ok, it's time to log off! {pause} Why aren't I beaming out!?
ROBOTIC VOICE: Password?
STRONG SADER: Crap! A password?
{cut to the new LoE base. It's raining outside}
ROBOTIC VOICE: Lockdown off.
{A window appears that says "What is the LoE Slogan?"}
DARK SADER: I know this one! Doom, Death, Despair, Everywhere! {Dark Sader beams out. The entire LoE says it in unison, and beams out.}
{Cut to the real world. The LoE members take over their respective host bodies, with red eyes.}
WILLON: To prevent what happened last time, get away from the chairs.
{Cut outside, where the LoE is lined up.}
WILLON: Gentlemen-today is the dawning of a new era for the LoE. No longer will we be confined to the simulation, but now we will take over the real world. And then-{eyes turn blue}
WILL: Get out!
WILLON: No!
WILL: Please?
WILLON: Oh, well, now that you say it that way STILL NO!
WILL: Don't make me punch me!
WILLON: Do I have to put you in a cage where you belong, you two?
WILL: OH GOD NO! DON'T YOU DARE!
WILLON: I will...Will...
WILL: I hate pu-
{Will/on faints}
EKUL: Password, eh?
{Ekul attempts to log off. Suddenly he disapears from the system. Cut back to real life. Ekul stands up}
EKUL: Interesting... I can log off. Well, there is no sense in staying around...
{Ekul peers around the corner to see Nived, a similar (albeit orange) penguin}
EKUL: {Gasps} What's HE doing here?! Oh no... I have to go back.
{Ekul reenters the simulation}
EKUL: Bad news guys. My rival, Nived is in the LoE. I don't know how, but I do know that he is dangerous.
{Cut back to the real world, Strong Sader, now under Dark Sader's control, has red eyes.}
DARK SADER: Whoa, the REAL world. It's so... boring. But hey, {Voice slows down} thanks Darlon...
{Dark Sader's eyes turn to Strong Sader's usual green.}
STRONG SADER: What happen...
{Strong Sader's eyes turn to Meek Sader's blue.}
MEEK SADER: Somebody set us up the bomb.
{Will/on has a seizure, thwen stops. His eye color fades in, red. He stands up and slaps Meek Sader, and he turns back to Dark Sader.}
WILLON: Dark Sader, there should be a cage inside there and a gun with which to bolt it down. Trap them.
NIVED: I must assert that the real world is incredibly hard to take over. Nothing is just possible with the snap of a finger, and those that die die forever.
{Cut to thre inside of Strong Sader's mind. All three versions of Strong Sader are floating there.}
DARK SADER: Get in there! {Dark Sader shunts the other two into a subconsious cage.}
STRONG SADER: Crap! We're trapped in an unescapable prison thing! It's episode 11 all over again!
EKUL: {Gets out of simulation} Ah great. Strong Sader is taken over. It's a good thing my subconscious is a democracy...
{Cut to Ekul's subconscious area with twelve penguins, all looking fairly different, but the same size. One is in a prison.}
GREEN EKUL: Let's listen to disco.
REGULAR EKUL: All opposition say nay.
ALL BUT GREEN EKUL: NAY!
{Cut to Strong Sader's Subconscious. While in the cell, Strong and Meek Sader are adressing a similare meeting. Three seats are empty.}
GLEE SADER: {Cheery voice} I say we hold a disco!
LONE SADER: {Dejected voice} I oppose...
SLOB SADER: {Texan voice} How about a chili cook-off?
SMART SADER: {Lisped voice} People! Can we return to the subject matter?
{Strong and Meek Sader groan.}
{cut back to outside the house.}
WILLON: Nived, to answer your question, in the real world...you take on the appearance of a endangered species. They can't harm us when you're with us. Oh, and everybody's special powers that they had inside the simulation will slowly disappear. And, I'm sorry Nived, but that means you won't be able to talk.
(OOC: Ekul, how did Nived get his own body separate from you if he was created inside the simulation? He would just take over your body with a change of fur and eye color.)
{OOC: Nived is of Ekul's species, not of Ekul.}
NIVED: You don't understand. I was one of several birds like Ekul genetically engineered at birth. We were all given powers previously thought to be scientifically impossible. We exiled him... for reasons we don't care to disclose...
WILLON: Oh, that's very nice. {hair starts slowly turning red.} Would you look at that. My evil is infecting the body.
{cut inside the cage.}
CHWOKA: So, how we gonna escape?
YIURTLE: I have no idea.
VANHOCK: Who the crap or you!?
YIURTLE: I'm Yiurtle.
VANHOCK: Like a turtle!
YIURTLE: ...no...
CHWOKA: So, what are you the embodiment of?
YIURTLE: Youngness. When Will got too old, I got locked up automatically.
VANHOCK: So that explains the height and otherwise...child-like...ness...
{Cut back to Strong Sader's subconscious. The nine other "deligates" are arguing.}
HYPO SADER: Please, stop! I'm going to get a cut or something!
NEAT SADER: I concur!
DUMB SADER: What's a 'concur'?
JACK SADER: Who cares!? It's FUN!
SMART SADER: Stop, people! Stop!
SLOB SADER: Screw you, Nerdy!
ANTI SADER: !bmud si sihT
{In real life, suddenly Homestar appears in real life}
HOMESTAR: Huh? What happens? Hmm... Time to go find Strong Bad!
{Homestar runs out of the area and into the real world. zoom in on a computer screen}
COMPUTER: HOLOGRAM CREATION COMPLETE.
{cut to the backyard. Homestar runs right through a wall, getting disrupted.}
HOMESTAR: Oooh. I was all fuzzy.
{Homestar runs away, getting farther and farther away from the computer. His image becomes weaker and weaker, until he's barely there.}
HOMESTAR: Holy cwap! I'm invisibwe!
STRONG BAD: {Off screen, muffled} Homestar! Get back here! {Pan to the projection generator. Strong Bad with his body cast woddles through.}
{Homestar runs back}
STRONG BAD: I don't know what's happening, but we seem to be in a place that doesn't appear to be real
HOMESTAR Of course it's real!
{Homestar kicks a table, and phazes through}
HOMESTAR: See?
STRONG BAD: You didn't even touch it. You went through it.
HOMESTAR: Then I must be a ghost! I can FLLLY! {Homestar jumps up in the air expectantly and falls flat on his face.} Ouch.
{OOC: He's made of "Hard Light" as Strong Sader put it. He CAN touch it}
HOMESTAR: Ow! Mighted had got bwain damagé...'d...
{The system suddenly beeps}
COMPUTER: TANGIBILITY IS NOW TURNED ON. HOLOGRAMS ARE MADE OF PHOTONS AND MAY NOW INTERACT WITH OBJECTS.
STRONG BAD: Look, Homestar, we can't touch anything but the ground. Watch. {waddles into a table and falls over.
HOMESTAR: How come you gets to touch stuff and I don't! No faiw! {runs away, fading away because he gets farther away from the projector.} WAAAAAAAAAAH!
{cut to the simulation. Homestar runs back in, Back-to-the-Future style.}
HOMESTAR: -AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! Ow! My feet awe on fire! {Homestar does a backflip} Roll- {falls backwards} -Dwop- {Homestar stiffens up} -Stop! I think that's the wight owdew...
STRONG SAD: Homestar, what are you... What's that door?
HOMESTAR: I dunno. I was just a ghost.
STRONG SAD: A door to the afterlife. Here I come!
{Strong Sad dives through the door and ends up in real life}
STRONG SAD: What the... Where am I? Why's everything so detailed?
DARK SADER: Welcome to the real world! {Draws a bazooka and aims it at them.}
NIVED: Hold on. I have a better idea.
{Nived holds up a flash drive that reads "Corruption." He sticks it into Strong Sad}
NIVED: Get ready to embrace the LoE, fool.
STRONG SAD: {Monotone} I swear allegiance to the LoE
STRONG BAD: WHAT?!?
STRONG SAD: Take me to your computer. I will spread through computers and advertize us.
STRONG BAD: Strong Sad! You crapmeister! I'LL KILL YOU! {Strong Bad attempts to attack Nived.}
{Nived uses his gravity powers to cause Strong Bad to float}
NIVED: Hmm... I can't infect you... Off you go then.
{Nived flings Strong Bad into the computer again.}
DARK SADER: {Begins having what appears to be a seizure.}
{Cut to the inside of Dark Sader's mind, his conscious has been overwhelmed by the riot of his subconscious infulences. Nived looks at him}
NIVED: Dark Sader, you need to be contained until this uprising in your mind has been cured. Tell me as soon as you're back in control.
{Nived straps Dark Sader to simulation table without plugging him in. Cut to the inside of his mind. Dark Sader is about to be killed by Jack Sader, Dumb Sader and Slob Sader are beating each other up and Anti Sader is healing wounds on people's faces by punching them. Fires are visable in the background. Dark Sader's seizures intensify}
NIVED: This is worse than I thought.
{Nived takes Dark Sader to a different part of Wikihood's building, the cryo section}
NIVED: I'll try to find a way to transfer some of my consiousness to help you out.
{Dark Sader is cryogenically frozen}
WILLON: {hair is now completely red and changing shapes like a flame. Eyes are also completely red with flaming pupils.} Nived, status report.
NIVED: I was forced to detain Sader. He's beginning to convulse with an internal revolution. I also turned Strong Sad to our cause with this.
{Nived shows Willon the flash drive.}
WILLON: What use is Strong Sad? Will he BORE our enemies to death?
NIVED: His technical uses, mostly. I sent him to gather support through the internet, but mostly he was a test to see that it worked.
WILLON: Excellent. Soon, the LoE will have the entire dimension at their fingertips.
{Willon's hair turns blond again, and flops down.}
WILLON: Crap! Dark Sader, you and Nived are in charge. Detain me.
{Willon turns into Will}
WILL: Ugh...what happened? {Looks around} Oh...crud...Ok, how do I separate? Ummm...erm...{eyes turn green}
WILLHOCK: W00T! I'm in the real world! Oh, hi Dark Sader.
NIVED: Your wish shall be granted.
{Nived puts Will/on/hock into another cryo-chamber. Then, he seals both with a password.}
NIVED: I will now endeavor to invade your mind and quell these mind rebellions!
{Cut to the real world. Apoc is continuing his speech.}
APOC: -that's my real name. Now, the simulation is 2 blocks over. MARCH!!!
{Cut back to Nived, with two Wikihood headsets}
NIVED: It was surprising how fast that went. I only needed to modify them just a bit.
{Nived clamps one onto his head and one onto Will's head. Cut to Will's subconscious. Several versions of Niveds enter Will's head. Cut to Dark Sader's cryo-chamber. The chamber begins to vibrate}
COMPUTER: WARNING! STASIS FAILURE IN CRYO CHAMBER #12!
{The chamber breaks from the intensity of Dark Sader's convulsions. Dark Sader staggers to his feet, foaming at the mouth and vibrating in a seiziure-like manner. Cut the inside of Will's mind, Nived's counterparts interupt a fight that Chwoka's varients are having.}
ORDINARY NIVED: Seize the two blonde ones!
{Cut back the the real world, Dark Sader arkwardly brandishes the bazooka he held earlier. Cut to the inside of Strong Sader's mind, which is now in chaos.}
STRONG SADER: Psst! Dumb Sader! Release us, and I'll give you a cookie!
DUMB SADER: A cookie? All right!
{Cut back to Will's mind. The Niveds detain Chwoka and Vanhock.}
DARLON: Thanks. Why are you here?
{Cut back, now beyond control, Dark Sader aims his bazooka at Will's chamber. Cut to the inside of Strong Sader's mind. Dumb Sader unlocks the cage.}
MEEK SADER: Thanks! {Tosses a cookie into Dumb Sader's hands. He looks overjoyed. The two run across the carnage and to a large computer bank.} Okay, I'll just reactive eye screening...
{The computer shows Strong Sader's body aiming the bazooka.}
STRONG SADER: Holy crap, he's going to kill Will! Reactivate action controls!
MEEK SADER: I can't! The brain can't cope with the seiziure we're causing, let alone a command!
{Cut back the Darlon.}
ORDINARY NIVED: You're free! Just take control of your body and we can-
{Cut back to the real world, Dark Sader fires the bazooka. The cryo-chamber explodes with Nived and Will's minds and counterparts inside...}
{To be Continued...}
Synopsis
CAST (in order of appearence): {{{3}}}
Transcript
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