Wikihood 2/eps/11
From The Wikihood
Darlon, Ekul, Stinkoman K, Vanhock, Chwoka, ApocalypX, Strong Sader, Computer Drone, Nemesi, Xenos, Eleanor, Etna, X-Bot 3000, Homestar Runner, Will, Jordan {white space. Everyone appears, except for the LoE. A voice is heard.}
DARLON: {voice} Welcome to a pocket universe. I made it, just for you. Now, this universe is highly suggestable, so feel free to wish up whatever you want. When my plan is finished, I'll let you back out to the living hwell that is the real world. Well, the simulation. Have fun. And by the way there is no escape.
EKUL: Oh snap. Darlon's getting back at me mainly I think. Once I marooned him. Well, time for testing the boundaries
{Ekul thinks a scientific computer}
EKUL: Might as well research stuff while we plan for a way to get out.
{Ekul begins calculating}
STINKOMAN K: Well, as long as you're advancing the plot, Ekul...hang on.
{Stinkoman K thinks up a couch, including a TV, a Nintendo DS with a case of games, and a Wii}
STINKOMAN K: {sits on couch} I'll just kick back here.
EKUL: Wow, do you even have all your saved games?
{The sugar grows arms and legs.}
VANHOCK: Uhhh...
{The sugar attacks Vanhock, while the pool wings aroun d the latter, trying to hit things. The DS grows teeth and tries to eat Stinkoman K's hands, while the television creates a huge laser. Ther Wiimotes and TV Remote atempts to beat Homestar, and the Wii itself launches disks at people. The couch tries to kick Ekul over, and the scietific computer beans people with the keyboard and whips people with the mouse.}
EKUL: I should have known!
{Ekul throws a fireball at the computer and it shorts out before exploding.}
EKUL: Uh, now what?
CHWOKA: {pinned down by the Sugar} Uh, we don't think?
DARLON: Too bad! As time goes on, the universe becomes both more suggestable and more sinister, until the slighteset thought causes the worst things ever! Make a world now, and it won't be suggestable!
OTHER VOICE: {breaking up} Solidify...a world...in...gre...detail...and...it...won...be...sug...table...not...nearly as...sin...er {KSSSHH}
CHWOKA: Quickly, people, think up a planet for us all in great detail!
{cut to a zoom out, and a planet appears. Cut back, Chwoka and everyone are on the planet. Chwoka is playing a portable system that has every game console up to the N64 built in.}
CHWOKA: Yeah. If we think up the inner workings of stuff, it's not dangerous.
EKUL: Hmm...
{Ekul concentrates very hard and imagines a science computer in great detail. He specifies the bytes, what it can do, etc. He manages to create a computer in 4 hours after tying up every loophole.}
EKUL: Maybe Wikipedia can tell us how we can escape!
WIKIPEDIA: Sorry, but "Escape from Hellish White Wishing Pocket Dimension" did not weildany search results.
EKUL: If the internet works, light can escape. So it's not a black hole...
CHWOKA: Well DUH, Captain Obvious. We're only surrounded by a ENDLESS WHITE VOID.
STINKOMAN K: No. {gets up and walks to Ekul} He means, Chwoka, that if we can access the internet, there must be a place somewhere here where a wireless signal can be picked up.
{cut to FCUSA, slightly wrecked. A wire is coming out of nowhere. Cut back.}
STRONG SAD: Dear Diary, today is the greatest day. Strong Bad is now Strong Pile of Ash.
{Cut back to the pocket universe}
APOC: WHO HA!
{Apoc cuts a rip and runs through it. He falls from above.}
APOC: Ooof!!! What the? I KNOW! I wish we could get out of here!!!
VOICE: WISH DENIED.
APOC: I wish for a sammich!
VOICE: WISH DENIED.
APOC: Why?
VOICE: WHAT DO YOU WANT ON THE SAMMICH?
EKUL: Hmm...
{Ekul is intensly typing. Dramatic music plays. Record scratch to see he is actually playing Age of Empires}
EKUL: Ah... I needed a break from all that plot development.
{Cut yo the crater where the haunted house once stood. The caption: "Six Hours Previously..." fades in at the bottom of the screen, and fades out five seconds later. The rips are creating a giant vacuum.}
STRONG SADER: SEE YOU NEXT EPISODE!
{Strong Sader leaps into one of the rips. Cut to the other side of the tear, in a tron-like, vector landscape. A wall of binary notes seperates the programming shell from the simulation itself. Strong Sader comes through the rip, and changes some of the binary notes. The rips heal up.}
STRONG SADER: Another job well done! {Slight pause} Um... How do I get out of here?
{Cut back to the white space planet.}
HOMESTAR: We're screwed! The good times are over!
EKUL: Hmm... Wait... If the internet works, maybe I can access the Wikihood's code from this computer... It's worth a try. Maybe after I beat my new copy of Knights of the Old Republic!
{Ekul inserts KotOR and starts playing it. Cut back to Strong Sader}
STRONG SADER: Hmm... Maybe I can program my way out of here!
{Strong Sader begins rearranging the binary code. Cut back to Ekul who is on the internet}
EKUL: Now, time to visit Wikihood's server.
COMPUTER: Please enter password
EKUL: Crap.
{Ekul takes a wild guess}
COMPUTER: Password is not...cept...d (Breaks up}
{A pop-up comes up. "This code is currently being edited"}
EKUL: Hmm... I wonder who...
{Ekul types something in the troubleshoot box "Who are you that is editing it?"}
{Cut back to Strong Sader. A small computer orject interuppst his editing.}
COMPUTER: Please state your identity.
STRONG SADER: Strong Sader: Simulation Moderator 003.
{Back to Ekul, the computer responds}
COMPUTER: TITLE: SIMULATION MODERATOR 003. IDENTITY: STRONG SADER. OTHER ACCESS TO THIS iNFORMATION IS RESTRICTED.
{Ekul types back "Where are you now?" Cut back to Strong Sader.}
COMPUTER: Please state your location.
STRONG SADER: Um... {Reads a secton board} Programming bank #7982.
{Ekul receives this information}
EKUL: Oh snap. I forgot to state MY identitiy.
{Ekul types in "This is Ekul. Darlon has trapped us somewhere else. It's holding up for now, but I have a good reason to believe it will crash down on us."}
COMPUTER: This is Ekul. Darlon has trapped us somewhere else. It's holding up for now, but I have a good reason to believe it will crash down on us.
STRONG SADER: Holy Crap! Computer, state location of simulation drone: Ekul.
COMPUTER: Sub-Universe F.
STRONG SADER: I didn't know there was such a place. Computer, relay message: "Don't worry Ekul, I'm on my way."
{Cut to Ekul}
COMPUTER: Don't worry Ekul, I'm on my way.
{Ekul types: "I wouldn't suggest coming here. It's apparently impossible to exit the place without a glitch." Cut back. Strong Sader edits faster, until the binary notes form a door. Strong Sader opens it and peeks through. Cut back to Ekul, a door forms no too far away. It opens, and Strong Sader peeks through.}
STRONG SADER: I think this is the place.
EKUL: {Whispering} Perfect! Let's real quickly make a reflection of me so that they don't know I'm gone.
{Ekul makes a reflection duplicate, and goes to the door with Strong Sader. The door begins to fade with code}
EKUL: Uh oh. The automatic glitch reparation sequence!
{Ekul dives through as it closes up}
EKUL: That was a close one.
STRONG SADER: So, there's no exit? I'll see if I can program one in, but the section is heavily incripted.
EKUL: Hmm... What happened to the haunted house and trees and crap that got sucked into here?
STRONG SADER: Oh, yeah.
{The debris suddenly falls from the sky and crushes Strong Sader, killing him.}
STRONG SADER: {Ghost} Happens every episode.
EKUL: That's too bad. Wait a second... Could the debris potentially damage the system?
STRONG SADER: No, it has to be a moderator to change the coding. But that raises the question: How did Darlon edit in that extra universe?
EKUL: ...Maybe he didn't have to. You have a dark side, right?
STRONG SADER: He was forged from the same file! He has all the same powers!
{Dun Dun Duuuun!}
EKUL: Oh no! By promoting you, they inadvertently gave the enemies all the power they want!
{Meanwhile, in the pocket universe, the reflection is typing. Homestar walks up}
HOMESTAR: Oh, hey Penguindymin.
REFLECTED EKUL: ...What is Penguindymin?
HOMESTAR: Uh, hello! It's you.
REFLECTED EKUL: My name is Ekul. Please refer to yourself as such.
{Marzipan walks up}
MARZIPAN: Are you okay?
{Cut back to the coding.}
STRONG SADER: There's only one sound option: We have to try to remove the moderator function fron his file, if we fail at that, we'll have to kill him.
EKUL: To kill him, you'd have to remove your ghost form! That'd be bad. Since dying is typical for you, we'll have to try very hard on the first option... Or we could fuse him into Meek Sader.
STRONG SADER: I'm afraid that's not an option, the simulator can't handle exact clones, so that would annihalate everything.
EKUL: You could also change Meek Sader's file. By the way... Could he be looking at the records and surveying us right now?
{Cut to LoE control.}
DARLON: THEY'RE EDITING!? Destroy them!
STRONG SADER: Wait! I've got a lock on Dark Sader's file! Extracting requested function...
STINKOMAN K: {holding a Bigg Nife} Aww...can't we just kill him?
STRONG SADER: Where did you come from?
{Homestar is still harrasing Reflected Ekul}
HOMESTAR: And then I said to Strong Bad "What, you think two of them would wolk?" and he was all like "Homestar, you'd need like, I dunno, fouw to-"
REFLECTED EKUL: This is your final warning. Stop talking, no armed mongrel. Your assertiveness has overindulged.
HOMESTAR: I'm tiwed of this sass! Nobody calls me assewtive!
{Homestar kicks Reflected Ekul}
REFLECTED EKUL: Counter attack!
{Reflected Ekul and Homestar begin to fight}
MEEK SADER: C'mon guys! Lets not fight!
REFLECTED EKUL: I was intializing self defense. It is no problem on my part.
HOMESTAR: What awe you babbling about? You cleawly called me assertive
REFLECTED EKUL: Assertive has a neutral connotation
HOMESTAR: You don't evew make sense, do you?
MEEK SADER: Ekul, there's definatly something different about you...
REFLECTED EKUL: That is incorrect. I am at my optimal and common behavior.
MEEK SADER: {Raises eyebrow}
REFLECTED EKUL: Your response is unestimated. I am not acting odd. Your facial alignments show you do not believe me.
MEEK SADER: Are you some kind of replacement-clone?
REFLECTION EKUL: I am not! The statistics of your guess is not consistant with relevant data! World not conceived correctly! Error! Reseting and hoping nobody notices! Hello Meek Sader. How do you do?
{Meek Sader kicks Reflection Ekul in the face. Cut back to the simulation mainframe.}
STRONG SADER: Done! Now Dark Sader i- {Strong Mad catches Strong Sader, and drags him through a glitch, which then closes.}
EKUL: Oh snap! That's not good. I can't escape the code shell... Well, at least they think I'm still in the pocket universe. I guess I'll just float here and hope for a glitch
{Cut back to the reflection Ekul}
REFLECTED EKUL: LOGIC ERROR! SHUTTING DOWN FOR MAINTAINANCE!
{The reflection Ekul falls onto the ground.}
HOMESTAR: What the crap was that about.
MEEK SADER: This is one of Ekul replicas. Whatever reason he made one for can't be a particularly good one.
{Nemesi and Xenos walk onscreen.}
NEMESI: LET IT BE KNOWN: WE HAVE TEAMED UP WITH THE LEGION OF EVIL!!!
XENOS: We are part of a bigger force. Apoc, you'll die. Sooner or later.
{Xenos and Nemesi open a rip and walk into it. It then disappears. Cut to somewhere. Etna and Eleanor are fighting. Apoc appears.}
APOC: What are you ladies fighting about?
ETNA: {sychronised} YOU.
ELEANOR: {sychronised} YOU.
{Apoc's eye twitches. He then disappears. Cut to the previous scene. X-Bot is telling everyone something. Homestar is crying.}
X-BOT: -to make a grown man cry.
{pan to Stinkoman K}
STINKOMAN K: Homestar's an adult?!
{He then pushes his hand on his chest and we warps away from the crowd and appears a few yards away}
STINKOMAN K: {distant} That's how I get from one place to another!
{He warps back to his original position. Everyone is staring at him.}
STINKOMAN K: ...what? Could this have been useful 2 episodes ago?
{Chwoka and Vanhock beam away. Cut to the LoE base.}
DARLON: Now, drop-{beams away}
{cut to the real world. Will gets out of his seat.}
WILL: HERE'S my soda! {takes his soda, and sits back down.}
{cut back to the white space. Chwoka and Vanhock beam back in.}
CHWOKA: {takes a sip of soda.} ...Why is everyone staring at me, Vanhock, and Stinkoman K?
{Cut to the real world. A kid is sitting at the computer.}
KID: I'm Jordan, and I control Apoc, so shut u-
{Cut back to the white space.}
APOC: I feel as if some teen is talking about me.
{Suddenly a rift opens. The Cheat walks out, holding a weapon}
THE CHEAT: Meh! Mehnemeh.
{The Cheat picks up the broken reflection of Ekul. Then he jumps back inside the rift and it closes. Cut to a strange room. The Cheat places the reflection on the table and straps him to it. Cue dramatic music}
{cut to FCUSA, completely ruined. The characters blip in (Including Strong Pile of Ash). The "—" represent blipping in and out of the world}
HOMSAR: AAAaaAAAAAaaaaA—aaAaa! My pizza i—eh cooooolest thi—iiiii—iiing!!
{cut to the LoE. Blue Laser is repeatatly pressing a big button}
DARLON: Blue Laser! Stop pressing the "Send in/out of white wising pocket universe" button!
{cut back. Ekul appears through a rip.}
EKUL: Ah, phew. I'm out of the coding. But that means I'm also too late to stop whatever they beamed us out for... Ah well. I wonder what happened to that reflection...
{Cut back to the room with the Ekul Reflection, where The Cheat and a Blue Laser minion are standing.}
BLUE LASER: The reprogramming is done, sir.
THE CHEAT: Mehnemmaheh!
{An alarm blares}
BLUE LASER TROOP: Uh oh. It looks like he's turning on, sir. I don't know why.
THE CHEAT: Meh!
{The reflection stands up.}
REFLECTION: Perfect! I was waiting for this. Is this the league of evil?
BLUE LASER TROOP: Yes, sir.
REFLECTION: Take me to your leader.
BLUE LASER TROOP: You mean Darlon?
{cut to Darlon's office. Darlon draw out his laser gun.}
DARLON: YOU! I'm not letting you away this time...you give me three good reasons why I shouldn't send you back to the evil white wishing dimention, and I'll lower my weapon...
REFLECTION: Because I'm not Ekul. I'm an outsider using the program. Unverifiable, yes, but also I am using a reflection Ekul created stolen by the Cheat. Ask him, he knows. I invaded this body, which was actually supposed to be a drone. Ask the minion. There. Three reasons.
DARLON: {lowers his gun.} You sound like a perfect canidate for the Leigon of Evil.
{zoom in on their hand shake.}
DARLON: Welcome aboard. But, seriously, change your clothes.
REFLECTION: Trust me, I will.
DARLON: Perfect.
{Screen goes black. "THE END" is written in blood, with "The Leigon of Evil is growing—beware." written in smaller letters.}
Synopsis
CAST (in order of appearence): {{{3}}}
Transcript
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IX1X7a Thanks, useful material I added your blog to my bookmarks!...
