From Speakeasy

YertleTurtle, also known by his given name of Bob Wallace, is a rather dim-witted writer, formerly employed by as a comic. Being an un-educated and rather boring hack, Yertle was forced to supplement his earnings as a columnist by working as a carpenter. One day in 2003, as he was working on the framing of a new house, his ladder collapsed under him, and he fell to the ground, heavily. As he fell, a co-worker on the roof above him dropped his hammer. The hammer landed on the prostrate Yertle's head, stunning him. As he arose from his stupor, a single, sudden thought entered his mind, a single thought that would change his life: "Death to all Semites!" Yertle did not hate the Jews. Yertle did not hate the Arabs. Rather, he found himself despising all of Abraham's towel-headed, talmud-clutching descendents. Yertle's anti-semitism got him kicked out of the libertarian movement, his girlfriend's house and

His days of being a second-rate humorist on were over. 

Yet Yertle did not despair. He moved on to his new home at Nowadays he spends his time listening to classic rock, posting his own articles on the 4um and playing with himself.

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