Sarahstan

From Speakeasy

Most important laws of the nation of Sarahstan

1. Free speech for everyone, except those who mock Sarah or Sarahstani culture, the penalty for which is death.

2. Public displays of affection are banned, under penalty of 100 lashes.

3. No cellphones, BlackBerrys or related gadgets are allowed in public spaces, under penalty of death.

4. Whining about persecution past or present will result in immediate deportation.

5. In Sarahstan, nobody cares if you are gay or straight, just shut up about it.

6. All runway fashion models must be at least a size 7 and cannot be taller than 5'5".

7. Friday is costume day, anyone caught in normal attire will not be allowed into restaurants and other establishments.

8. Anyone caught stealing will have his or her hand cut off.

9. It is allowed to beat up anyone you see spitting on the streets.

10. Smoking is prohibited anywhere public or private.

National Holidays

January 10 - National Day / Day of Our Glorious Leader's Birth

November 7 - Trotsky Appreciation Day

November 21 - Björkday

June 1 - Summer Festival

December 23 - Festivus

The 25th day of Kislev - Hanukkah

Starting sometime during the 9th month of the Islamic calendar - Ramadan

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