Sarah

From Speakeasy

Sarah (1982- ) is an artist, humorist, leading 21st century social commentator, part-time biographer, amateur linguist, gangsta rapper, leading figure in the Upper Midwest surrealist movement, despicable human failure and international weirdo. Among Sarah's best-known works on Speakeasy are her gangsta rap lyrics and sarcastic posts about 'Aryan activists' aka the white power (bowel) movement. She fights both racism and antiracism with an idea called "aracism."

Contents

Sarah Facts

Sarah's infamy rests not only on her internet activity, but also on her life, which has featured allegations of homoѕеxuality, ѕеxual fetishes and Trotskyism. She was famously described by Regis Philbin as "bat shit crazy." She is a pale ass cracker of mixed ethnic extraction and part of the Satanic seedline, something she's kinda proud of or hates, depending on her mood. She will never be racially acceptable for 94.2% of Stormfront due to her Central Asian and Jew blood, even though she looks whiter and more eugenic than most of the people on there.

Sarah is an avid collector of ephemera. She has a particular interest in pinups, postcards, blotters, stamps and lithography. She loves Pewabic pottery and believes the only way to drink a premium beverage properly is out of an artisan crafted stoneware vessel. She also has a whole lot of books, mostly on useless knowledge type subjects which fascinate her such as history, archeology, anthropology, costume design, alchemy and black magic. She's not into Satanism or anything like that, though. In fact, she fancies herself some sort of Muslim, though others would disagree. She likes the idea of God being an unknowable, unviewable entity.

Sarah is an advocate of the healing wonders of masturbation, a topic near and dear to her um,...heart, for some reason.

Sarah claims to have seen Malcolm McDowell walking around a swanky suburb of Metro Detroit in 1999. She wanted to say hello to him but he looked rather busy so she left him alone. She had a junior high school crush on the geriatric British actor, which shocked and sickened many of her close associates.

Sarah was booted out of her first high school partially for her creative writing which she stored on school computers mistakenly. The nature of the stories are unclear, but rumor has it they involved Adolf Hitler, lobster nipple clamps and gay Jewish midgets.

Sarah's taste in men and women

Sarah generally likes high I.Q., white, pale-skinned, tall, skrawny nerds, and artsy farty weirdos though she does make some exceptions to this. She also likes East Asian guys and yurt-dwelling nomads from remote corners of the world. She likes some women, but they have to be really awesome and exotic. For the most part, she dislikes females.

Role on Speakeasy

Sarah was an early member of Speakeasy and as co-admin is charged with fixing the place up aesthetically, adding new features, and flushing spambots down the crapper. She hosts the fiefdom called Sarahstan, which revolves around her own weird little interests. She contributes many hot mamas to the BIGGLES Babes Thread. Sarah also is main contributor to the Hungary part of the ex-International section (now located within Sarahstan), simply because nobody else gives a rat's ass about Hungary.

Statistics

  • Her diet consists of grains, vegetables and dairy products.
  • She does not smoke, drink alcohol or do any drugs of any kind.
  • She's known to call herself a fehér cigány or white gypsy based on her nomadic, somewhat lazy nature and love of weird clothing.
  • She is an avid skee ball player.
  • Her dreams are usually bilingual.
  • Her first celebrity crush was Ted Bundy.
  • She believes even Jesus thinks she is an asshole.
  • "She's right" - Jesus
  • Outside of school, she has only read a handful of fiction books.
  • Martin Lindstedt called her a Taliban skank.
  • She has her own unique political and philosophical worldview which combines elements of Darwinism, Evolution, Creationism, Skepticism, Surrealism, and Abrahamic faiths among other things.
  • She is a supporter of freedom for East Turkistan and is a Pan-Turanist.

Sarah's favorite candies

Kolumbo, a Croatian chocolate made with hazelnuts and honey

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Haribo Goldbären, the original gummi bears, except no others!

Quotes

  • "It doesn't interest me to take this forum in that direction anymore than I would want to join the World Church of the Creator or get a tattoo of a lynched negro on my boob."
  • "I'd rather be in a mosque with Turks than be at a praise YHWH redneck barbeque."
  • "He's about as sultry as a home enema kit." - Sarah on Philip Kirkorov

From others

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Sarah shows you some crazy shit

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