Microwaved grapefruits with hair extentions

From Speakeasy

Found frequently on Myspace, microwaved grapefruits with hair extentions is a type of skank. The Retard claims to be one of these in real life, if the photos are to be believed.


Microwaved grapefruits with hair extentions usually starts out her life as an average or below average looking girl. For one reason or another, she longs to be a model, despite her ugliness. She frequently exists in the High School Ecosystem as the slut, or at very least the tease.

Microwaved grapefruits with hair extentions sometimes goes to college to study something useless, and puts herself through school by exotic dancing or modelling. She first has to get the right look to be considered for these careers. Which leads us to...

How to become a microwaved grapefruits with hair extentions

  • Be born ugly, pale and flat-chested.
  • Get disproportionately large, round silicone breast implants. Remember, the bigger and rounder, the better.
  • Go to a tanning salon, or if that is not an option buy TanTowels or other self-tanning products. Your skin should have an unhuman orange glow.
  • Buy your clothes here.
  • Bleach or frost your hair and get extentions.
  • Get your belly button pierced.
  • Have at least one tribal tattoo, preferably above your ass, navel or crotch.
  • Wear body glitter, fake nails and paint them light pink.
  • All of your shoes must be platform heels, preferably made of latex or PVC.
  • Be a "glamour model." Do anything for work, anything.
  • Get a Myspace account to promote yourself.



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