Toxiconning
From Finsters Place For Made Up People The Tbs Wiki
ROCKO: Congragulations, Toxica, Pirate Satilite TV, Who Woulda Thunk It? {Enter Toxica's Goons}
Benidict Assface: Us!
{Cut to view of Strong Bad and Strong Sad in the basement. Strong Bad is holding a legal pad, which he makes periodic notes in. One of Strong Sad's eyes is open unnaturally wide, and he holds his hands high above his head. His fingers twitch from time to time, and some erratic music plays in the background.}
STRONG BAD: So Strong Sad, tell me, how do you feel?
STRONG SAD: {speaking very quickly and clapping his hands together over his head} I feel great! I feel great! I feel great! I feel bad. I don't even watch football! I don't even watch football! I can't remember my legs.
{Cut to Strong Sad following an annoyed The Cheat on hands and knees. Strong Bad is in the background, watching and taking notes.}
STRONG SAD: Hey The Cheat! Listen up! Widdlywiddlywill! What did I say? What did I just say? Did I say anything? What about this one: hoo hee haw whadiawah! Did that mean anything? {Strong Bad voice-over begins} Did I offend you? I hope I didn't offend you.
STRONG BAD: {voice-over} After being exposed to my control Cheat, subject started acting way creepier than normal...like, even for Strong Sad.
{Cut to Marzipan's house, where she is trying to paint with Strong Sad next to her. We see Strong Bad in the foreground making more observations and taking more notes.}
STRONG SAD: Mar-zi-pan, Marzipan! What do you wanna make? You wanna make some wood-davers with me? I got pine cones! I got peanut butter! I got everything we need! I said pine cones! Pine cones! Gonna be successful! Gonna be phenomenally successful! Sell 'em at the corner store! Sell 'em at the five and dime! Marzipan, you gotta get on the train, get on the wood-davers train! Here goes the wood-davers train! It's takin' off! It's a new century!
{Strong Sad continues to ramble on as Marzipan walks away and Strong Bad continues.}
STRONG BAD: {voiceover} The subject's condition continued to deteriorate, and he began making up arts and crafts activities. Like wood-davers.
{Cut to Strong Bad's basement. Strong Mad is sitting on the couch, and Strong Sad is hanging upside-down from the ceiling.}
STRONG MAD: GET DOWN.
STRONG SAD: No!
STRONG MAD: GET DOWN!
STRONG SAD: No, no... Parakeet.
STRONG MAD: {in disbelief, and very clearly} Did you just say "parakeet"?
{Cut to a field with Strong Sad and Coach Z. Strong Sad alternates bouncing on his left and right legs. Strong Bad is in the background making notes and observations again.}
STRONG BAD: In the final stages, subject became: {The following words come up on the screen in Tandy text as Strong Bad says them} Erratic, violent, and Really Funny to Watch.
STRONG SAD: {slapping Coach Z in the face} Hey Coach Z! Hey Coach Z! Whaddaya got? Whaddaya got for me? How about that? Wanna play some soccer? {while Coach Z is speaking} Some hockeyjock? I got whatever it takes! Hey, ya want some salad? Pasta salad? Tuna salad? Fruit salad?
COACH Z: Woo! Woo! Cut that out! Don't hurt me! I don't wanna die! I'm just an old man— {Strong Sad steals Coach Z's hat after it falls to the ground} Ooh! Ooh!
STRONG SAD: ...Salad! Fruit salad! Fruit salad! Fruit salad! {Slowing down} Salad... {powering-down sound} ...Salad as a rock? Um... Coach Z, what are we doin' here?
COACH Z: You was tryin' to jank me.
STRONG SAD: Feelin' woozy...
{Strong Sad falls on his back. Coach Z's hat lands on his stomach. Cut to the All-Wide Science Fair auditorium stage, where a picture of Strong Sad on his back is shown on Strong Bad's easel under the caption "Results:".}
STRONG BAD: At this point, the test subject...was dead. {Gasp from the audience}
STRONG SAD: {Offscreen} I was not dead!
STRONG BAD: ...Shut up. And all of this data could only bring us to one conclusion: ...Strong Sad's adopted. {another gasp from the audience}
STRONG SAD: {Offscreen} That's not true either!
{The Paper comes down as a close up of Strong Bad's project is shown.}
