Giant Spaceship Thing o' Doomness

From Egs Mayhem

A giant spaceship thing from The Massive Flaming Plane Crash Thread. Staffed by some sort of military unit, including Major Disaster, General Store, Major Look, Corporal Punishment, Major Catastrophe, Private Joshua Parts and Private Lance Boyle. They receive orders from a mysterious body called Central Command, however nobody actually knows where it is or who it works for.

Not even they know what their role in the story is, but they're damned if they're going to fail at it.

...yeah...they're damned.

The ship has a large weapons array, however all the bombs are Kwaktonium-743 bombs, so they're pretty much for decoration.

The ship is badly damaged after a direct hit from something called a D-Gun.

It always seems to be constantly on the verge of just falling to bits, but never actually gets there.


  • General Store- a rather incompetent general with unpleasant boils who gets high off painkillers too easily and nukes things from orbit.
  • Major Disaster- Not the sharpest tack on the board. Favoured by General Store as his boil lancer.
  • Major Look- Possibly the only competent officer on the whole ship. Often corrects General Store.
  • Corporal Punishment- Head of bioweapons research. Developed the Following Plants.
  • Private Lance Boyle- An expert boil lancer.
  • Major Catastrophe- Rather like Major Disaster.
  • Private Parts- Owns an extensive porn collection, which he sometimes lends to General Store.
  • Major Incident- Rather like Major Disaster.
  • Private Meeting- The ship's liaison.
  • There used to be many more soldiers on the ship, however, a good portion of them, including Private Property, Major Spending, Private Housing and Major Oversight fell to Earth after a giant hole was blown in the ship and they took the General's order to "fall in" literally.
  • The Engineer that had been sent to the ship to make sure it remained a space ship and not an asteroid was lost in the incident as well, although not by her choice.
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