Piggy's Day/Another Asag

From Create Your Own Story

Indiana: "Alright, but this better not be such a farce."

Indiana presses a button, and the same Asag appears again. Ef begins to speak to the creature, reducing his vocie into screaming with growly vocals.

Ef: "WAKE UUUUUUUUP!!"

The Asag wakes up.

Asag: "UH.... WHAT IS IT NOW?"

Ef: "DO YOU REMEMBER HOW OLD YOU ARE!!?"

Asag: "I BELIEVE I'M SOMEWHERE AROUND 200 YEARS OLD, HOW SO?"

Ef: "I'M FROM P.A.S.C.A., THE PROTECTION AGENCY OF SATANIC CREATURES OF AMERICA. ONLY FULLY GROWN ASAGS MAY BE USED AS COMBAT OPPONENTS, AND THIS COMPETITION IS ON HALT UNTIL YOU ARE RELEASED BACK INTO HELT!!"

Asag: "YOU DO REALIZE THAT I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THAT KIND OF EARTHLY MATTERS?"

Ef loses his composure for a moment, but continues.

Ef: "Wha- WHAT!? THIS ISN'T AN OPTIONAL THING!!"

Asag: "WELL GOOD LUCK TRYING TO HAUL MY FAT CORPSE ANYWHERE."

The asag falls asleep again. Ef turns to the judges.

Ef: "WHO- I mean who's responsible for the acquiring of this asag?"

Indiana: "I was, but I didn't specifically ask for this individual. All asags used in this competition were donated by Satan."

Back at the home studio:

Piggy: "Oh wow, this guy's making a real scene."

Fan: "Goddamn environmental people. What good did they ever do?"

Piggy: "Well, they warned us about the global warming."

Fan: "No, not that kind of environmental people. I just mean these guys."

Piggy: "The annoying ones?"

Fan: "Yea."

Meanwhile, Ef has called the police on scene. People are trying to haul the asag away, but it's too heavy for regular equipment. The police can't arrest Indiana, because immortal beings are exempt from any crimes that, in the grand scheme of things, don't cause any harm. The show's viewer count is beginning to lower, so the producers just stick a commercial break.

Piggy: "Goddammit, of course something like this would happen when I'm watching the show. Every time. Sometimes I feel like nothing interesting happens unless I'm there."

Fan: "Wow, really? That sounds sort of cool."

Piggy: "Yeah, but it can be a right curse. When something interesting happens it's often most BAD, and if you're gonna be there when it happens, the bad thing might end up affecting YOU."

Fan: "I guess that's right..."

You revert your gaze back into the telesphere. As you do, a permafrost worm, piloted by Ef Yorkesl crashes through the wall. You quickly freeze to death from the inhuman outside temperatures.

Ef: "Oh geez this wasn't supposed to happen."

The policemen then start targeting Ef.

"Ef: "I'm not going to prison to be anybody's bitch! You'll never catch me!"

Ef rides off with the permafrost worm. However, permafrost worms can only stay above ground for so long, and Ef can't follow them down. After a his worm dives into the cold ground, he is left sitting on the frozen surface. Though he has to pay for damages, both of your deaths are ruled accidental, and Ef remains a free man. He is plauged by the thoughts of killing again, and vows never to command another permafrost worm.

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