Motes and logs (Kali)
From Badrp
Contents |
#1
|
From: <godsvoices@--------.com> Hello Kalimun, Jackmun told me that you wanted to reach me, because I was posting up a storm elsewhere. I wasn't aware I was posting quite that much, but I figured that I needed to address the issue anyhow. When I have free time, I like to be able to enjoy myself. And when I think about modding at Sages, all I get is a huge reluctance. The idea of getting caught up on all the wankfests over there really rankles, since the people involved almost never listen to reason. And then if they catch me on, they tend to swamp me. Which makes me want to withdraw, because all of them just want a mod on their team, essentially, and the ass kissing just doesn't appeal to me. I guess I'd been hoping it would be different at Sages than Gaia, but there's an awful lot of immaturity among a lot of those adults. Not that I'm completely immune to that myself, seeing as how the blatant copying of my post as Maleficent got my goat up. It reminded me an awful lot of the way people make such a huge deal about who posts to which community. As if what I did there was invalid and not worth acknowledging just because some people have a bizarre grudge against that comm and the people who post there. I guess it still boils down to the fact that my time is my own, to do with as I please, and while I wanted to help at Sages to assist Jackmun, I can't see that I'm doing much good lingering like this. I was pleasantly surprised to find that you can be a genuinely nice person, despite the rumors flying around regarding you. If I had any advice, it's that people are more intelligent than you sometimes give them credit for, and when you obviously don't like someone, hiding it behind the condescending good humor doesn't really help you. For instance, I disagree with how you handle Sages. I do try to keep it impersonal, since I really know nothing about you as a person. At some point, though, you should try to recognize that you yourself are driving people away. Often times you put down one pup of a mun, while begging that another pup be brought out. Having suffered that myself, it's vastly annoying to be asked to leave and stay at Sages at the same time. And you should consider outing yourself with all your characters, because it's very hard to trust you when you use them the way you do. I know I plan on listing all my pups, although that's more so people can contact me if they want to RP with me. Currently Sages isn't doing so hot. People aren't trusting the mods to do things the way they would like. Truth be told, how you run your comm is always your own business, and you can't make everyone happy. However, you might consider changing a few policies. And be honest. You aren't super human, no one expects you to like everyone. In conclusion, I am leaving as mod voluntarily. It would have been nice if it could have worked out, because I have so many fond memories of the comm and I do admire what you created. However, I'd rather not have the temptation available to me, because enough of those people irritate me that I might do something I'd regret while modding. I will continue to observe your request about keeping what happens between the mods private, as I would like to stay discreet myself. You have enough problems without me airing dirty laundry, and since I've managed to avoid doing that all these months, I'm positive I can keep from adding to the ruckus. Best Wishes, Metatronmun | 
|
#2
|
From: <orophinsgloss@-------.com> Hi Metatronmun, Thanks for your e-mail. :-) I'll be responding to this in detail sometime this week, but needed to say a couple of things to you. 1. You should have told me that you were also a moderator at Trangressions. So should have Jackmun. After our initial three way chat (that could sound kinky, oooo), I decided I liked you. In other words, it would not have made a difference, after I spoke to you the first time that I did. I would have been cool with it. It's hard to build a productive relationship with someone based on outright deception. In other words, I think it sucked. Editor’s Note: I’m having trouble understanding why this matters. 2. You stated that you are leaving because of the wank fests at Sages but that you think I'm a nice person. I believed you. However, I found this today on twitchnosewitch's LJ, a comment from Mr_Tepes, where a substantial conversation took place about you between various players: "The only problem she's had with you was with Jimmymun's banning from Sages. She wasn't a mod at Sages until about a month ago, and she quit a week or so ago. KALIMUN ANNOYED HER." If you left Sages because I "annoyed" you, and didn't tell me, well.....huh. If this statement is not true, I'd *appreciate it if you disabused people of that notion.* If it is, fine. Either way, it has plunged me into another mini shitstorm of wank, all directed at me, because of perceptions why you left. I'm thinking of posting a public rebuttal about the deception about who you were, that you didn't tell me, and why you said you left, but I'm going to wait, because I really don't need more wank or to start another shitstorm. However, the temptation grows each and every hour because I am TIRED of it. Editor’s Note: No, the shitstorm of wank arises because you’re FREAKING INSANE, KALI. 3. Yeah, I asked Jackmun where you were when I saw you posting. This wasn't to scold you, but because 1) you mentioned you had been VERY sick, and 2) it's hard to work with a moderator that is totally out of communication with you. In other words, my philosophy of moderating is that it's a good idea to at least touch base ONCE OR TWICE a week, just to assure each other that the other is alive, if NOTHING ELSE. 4. You wrote: "If I had any advice, it's that people are more intelligent than you sometimes give them credit for, and when you obviously don't like someone, hiding it behind the condescending good humor doesn't really help you." Ok, here I'm stumped, because you're vague. I'm not intentionally condescending towards anyone. If you can point to examples, that would actually be very helpful, because obviously I need to look at how I'm coming across if that is a widespread perception. It honestly isn't intentional. As to underestimating people, again, I'm clueless. Editor’s Note: What is vague about this? Kali will always ask for instances of her behavior, and when you provide them, she will of course explain them away. I suggest simply linking her to Dear Kali the next time she asks. 5. You wrote: "Often times you put down one pup of a mun, while begging that another pup be brought out. Having suffered that myself, it's vastly annoying to be asked to leave and stay at Sages at the same time." Has it occurred to you that this may be because I *don't know* who mans or womans the pups that I'm supposedly praising or putting down? If I don't know, what do you expect? Also, I've had my mind changed about people that I didn't like in one guise, but after RPing with them in another guise and speaking to them more OOC, my opinion was changed to the positive. Editor’s Note: … uh, yes. That’s … the point. That you maybe stop putting them down or praising them so openly because you don’t know, and you end up looking like a tard. Also, you’ve obviously had your mind changed about people you liked in one guise, but after you learned they played other characters, your opinion was changed to the negative. BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HAPPENED WITH METATRON WHO PLAYS ADRIAN. 6. "It's hard to trust you when you use them the way you do." Not quite sure what you mean. If we're talking about privacy, since Jackmun told me that you didn't want anyone to know that Maleficient was you, well......isn't that kind of the same? Regardless, you have a VERY valid point, and I've come clean to a bunch of people in the last week or so about who Iwrite, due to other things happening. Editor’s Note: Well, if you’re not sure what she means, let’s review how you use your alts. Oh yes; you use them to back yourself up in arguments, laugh at your own jokes, and put down people in groups. And you also don’t tell the other mods that you play certain characters even though it’s very obvious, and act as if you don’t. 7. "However, you might consider changing a few policies. And be honest. You aren't super human, no one expects you to like everyone." - again, very vague. I grew to trust your perspective as a moderator. Any suggestions would be honestly totally welcome. If stuff is broke, I want to fix it. :-) Editor’s Note: What in god’s name is vague about that? You aren’t expected to like everyone. It’s not a fucking sin. So stop acting like you love everyone when it is SUPREMELY obvious you do not. 8. "I don't like the way you run Sages." Firstly, I don't run it alone, or rather, I don't WANT TO. Editor’s Note: AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAA. Oh, excuse me. Secondly, while we're being frank, I can finally say a few things to you both about Trans. You've had your own share of wank, and a new comm started because of feuding in your own community. Editor’s Note: I believe the new comm was started because of … one person. And it died anyway. I think you collectively do some shitty things in how you run Trans. It stems from the attitude on the "Mod Hat, BITCH" icons on down. Editor’s Note: Hmm, bitchy icons versus deleting threads and entire posts, making shit up, and trolling your own “friend.” Hmmmm. Jimmy/Death/Sands Mun frequently referring to her feud with me, BRINGING IT UP OVER AND OVER. It creates drama. People notice. They think it's in poor taste. NOT just me feels that way. Editor’s Note: So are these actual other people, or is she referring to the peanut gallery in her head that she apparently interacts with on a regular basis? Moderators aggressively taking people to task publically for stuff in community posts. Example: Jimmy mun attacking another mun for supposedly doing something with her character without permission. Yeah, I agree that that isn't cool, but to do it PUBLICALLY? And then get in a wankfest with the player in the comments section? I think that's bad moderating. Editor’s Note: I don’t recall any aggression, or attacking. Everyone was really quite polite, actually, and see, Jimmy doesn’t feel the compulsive need to hide all her mod activities in case she messes up and everyone sees that she’s a psycho. … Of course, since she ISN’T a psycho, it’s not exactly a worry for her either. You co-run a community that tolerates animal abuse. Ugh. There is a list five miles long of why psychologically people think that's weird, no matter how much you scream "but it's just RPing, IC/OOC separation!", but I won't cite it here to ultra-defensive deaf ears. There are whole websites devoted to the psychology of RPing those things. I feel the same way about extensively RPing incest, child abuse, and child murder, and that means RPing in general, not just Trans. In other words, that's a blanket statement. No matter how violent my darker pups get, they don't torture or abuse animals, children, or molest. Editor’s Note: Uh ... huh. Incest? I don’t think there was actually any RPed, though it was referred to. Animal torture ... um, not really remembering any either. Lots of PEOPLE torture, though. Child abuse? ...What children? Child murder? The baby died ... but that’s all beside the point. So, what about people who write this stuff? Are they psychologically disturbed too? The writers of CSI are going to HELL? Could she BE more of a sanctimonious little shitstain? Jimmy mun comes off as very aggressive and immature in a lot of her mod posts. Believe me, people talk about it. This isn't just me saying this. Editor’s Note: Somehow I really doubt this because I don’t think anyone else reads Trans obsessively just to pick Jimmy’s posts apart. I'd even welcome Jimmy in her other guises back to Sages now, except that she frequently reminds people of her feud with me in posts on Trans, and frequently states how unwelcome I am THERE. Let me finish by saying that I had really let a lot of stuff go with her, and have never trashed her on Sages, or anywhere else. It looks bad that you guys let her continue to harp on that old feud with Sages, that you let that happen on Trans, it really does. My only issue with Jimmy was that she posted a picture of a bloody crushed kitten on Sages because she *couldn't exert IC/OOC separation*. I could have gotten over that, but the fact that one of my co-moderators, someone I LOVE, was given nightmares TWO NIGHTS in a row after seeing that picture, while his life was already filled with stress from an immediate family member dying, is not something I will easily forget. Editor’s Note: You’re certainly trashing her here. But then I guess you never expected your nasty exchanges to be exposed to the greater populace. And funny, who IS that co-moderator she’s talking about? Ollie-mun? Because Ollie-mun told ME that Kali isn’t talking to him. So much for love... In other words, I do things often not realizing the consequences to other people. She did that BIG TIME. Pot, kettle. Black. Anyway, I was happy to see that you are also a nice person, although the dishonesty thing sucked, and if you're going around telling people that I drove you from Sages while stating exactly the opposite to me, it HAS spawned wank, and I don't appreciate it. If you haven't said that, then ok. Take care, Kalimun | 
|
#3
|
|
From: <godsvoices@--------.com> Hello Kalimun, I'm glad you did get back to me, I was worried you were upset and were going to let it fester. Generally, it's better to mediate. But sometimes people don't say things because they don't want to hurt someone, or they are leery of being that direct. And all that happens is that it builds up. I can recognize that the situation is incredibly frustrating for you, and I hope that venting like that helped a little. Although I know sometimes when I vent I just end up revisiting the same issues again and again and probably driving Jackmun and my roommate a little batty. I'm going to get to the important part first. You've pushed away a friend over very minor issues. The comm isn't everything. Jackmun's been stuck in the middle, and she's been incredibly loyal. Don't make her defend you or pick sides. It's a shitty thing to do. My request to you is that you keep any further contact with her to real life stuff. It's not fair for her to be forced to choose, and I don't blame her for withdrawing. Don't talk about the comm. Don't bring up comics. She's under a lot of stress over real life, you might try talking with her about that, and maybe your own life. If she doesn't respond, let her be. If she posts in Trans, don't try to pull her to Sages. If I see her in Sages, I'll let that be. She has a wonderful OC that I admire far more than a canon char, because it takes a hell of a lot more creativity to make a char from scratch. Most people fail. As far as I'm concerned she's succeeded beautifully. Sometimes you have to admit to being wrong, and it's hard. Try apologizing to her. Sincerely. At length. Not one brief statement. Now for the other issues. The whole section? Where you go on in detail about Trans and Jimmymun? That's exactly why I didn't tell you who I was. The first thing you did when you found out was berate me about that. And all I wanted to do while modding was assist you and Jackmun. Not get into a spat about Trans, which was unrelated to me modding at Sages. And is still unrelated. I did not use it to push my agenda. I mentioned disagreeing with how you ran Sages as a part of the reason I left. It had context there. I didn't go into detail, because I figured that having left it didn't do me any good to harp on it while I was upset. You going into detail about what you hate about Trans is just spiteful and serves no purpose. I didn't tell you because I went with the decision least likely to cause problems while I was helping out. I wasn't doing it to get in good with you and ask you to kick people out that I hate or get Jimmymun back in Sages. In other words I only kept quiet because you'd then go on about Trans. I can disagree with and be irritated at people I like. Hate is really not appropriate for all this online RPing, none of this should make my real life miserable as a result. The wank fest actually was tied with not having time as the two largest reasons I left. I'm pretty sure I ranted to Alucardmun about my AIM spaz with Komun far more than I mentioned anything about you. I suspect he was playing up to Rosiemun in that little chat he had, which irked me. She's stirring up trouble so she can clutch her little coterie around her and get some attention. If you want to post a public rebuttal, and think it will make you feel better, feel free. I'm sure it will sting, but damn, I'll get over it. Or maybe I'll avoid seeing it. Don't use it as a threat to make me say what you want me to say, though. Honestly, public perception is bad enough now that people aren't going to be affected by much on anything I add either way. And with the way things have been going, I'm not sure people would respond the way you'd like them to. As far as the rest about Sages, a lot of that really depends on how much you are willing to work on that. Honestly, I'd suggest finding someone you like and trust other than Jackmun and dumping the comm on them, and not even reading it for at least a month. You need a huge break. It's not worth destroying yourself over, and Jackmun has far too little time. I don't remember having a huge problem about people knowing I was Maleficent, I just want a change of pace for myself. Thing is, I didn't run around using my pups to push my own agenda. Or to defend myself with them. Or make myself seem like more than one person to intimidate someone. I'm not sure you realize just how distinct your writing style is, but it's usually pretty obvious. If it's very hard to admit even to other mods who you do, there's a problem somewhere. I couldn't take that for more than a few weeks myself, and I don't know why you insult Jackmun's intelligence by continuing some of those charades. "Also, I've had my mind changed about people that I didn't like in one guise, but after RPing with them in another guise and speaking to them more OOC, my opinion was changed to the positive." I have to quote this, because right there, it's pretty clear that you strongly associate people with their pups. Yes, some pups are self-inserts. You should work at interacting with the pup without assuming they have anything to do with the mun. Even when the pup is incredibly nasty. I've found very sweet people behind homicidal maniacs, and the nastiest bitches behind some saccharine pups. It's generally why I try to avoid OOC criticism. Stop reading bad_rpers_suck and private journals if you cannot help but respond. People like to rant. People need to vent. It happens. If you use it for improvement, that's good. If you try to control them and stop it, that's bad. You cannot stop wank by responding to it like that. Don't demand that people jump to your defense. If they agree with you, they will on their own. I do know that even if you don't like someone or respect their opinion, when you read something bad about yourself it's easy to start seeing red. And now we get to Trans. We hardly ever mod. Mostly we sit around and watch them cause chaos without presuming we know better. And Jimmymun hasn't brought up her feud with you any time in recent memory. I can only remember once when she mentioned her feud with you in Trans. When you posted as-- oh wait. You pretend you don't do them. I do not believe you about Jimmymun. You never had and never will have any intention of working it out. You turn a deaf ear to that. They had no control over how people reacted to the picture. Let me repeat that. They cannot predict how others will react other than being grossed out. They are not accountable for everything that goes wrong in other people's lives that makes them too upset to cope with one bad picture. How do they cope with roadkill when they see it? The real thing bothers me a hell of a lot more than a picture, even if I only catch a glimpse. I disagree with you about the dark RPing. You say there's sites about it? There are whole sites devoted to how nuns are evil because all women should have sex. And how white women who have kids with black men are causing the downfall of society. I take everything with a grain of salt. Since you won't even consider my view, I'm not going to go into it or discuss it further. You choose not to RP that stuff, that's fine. Don't condemn me for RPing what you disagree with. It's not like I'm running around and making Adrian rape constantly. And I am not Adrian. I am also not Jimmymun, nor all the members of Trans. I'm fairly certain you don't want to be accountable for everything distasteful that's happened on Sages. My biggest suggestion? Stop trying to control everything. It's not possible, especially when you try to control other people. You'll just wear yourself out. And none of this is worth stressing over. Take a real break. Maybe even move on. Take Care, Metatronmun |
|
Editor’s Note: No response to this. Jimmy-mun has since dropped internet RPing altogether due to personal life issues cropping up, which is what prompted Metatron to e-mail Kali again.
#4
|
|
From: <godsvoices@--------.com> I'm requesting on behalf of my friend, in the interest of moving on, that you remove la_jabberwocky from kali921's friendslist. She's no longer RPing, and at this point monitoring her like that just serves to antagonize her when she wants to drop anything and everything to do with that incident. Whatever your argument for driving her away, there's no reason to pursue it any longer. |
|
Editor’s Note: Notice the prompt reply to this e-mail.
#5
|
|
From: <orophinsgloss@-------.com> Metatronmun, Um. Wow. A lot of heavy accusations in this e-mail that are completely WRONG. Firstly, would you mind not accusing me of "monitoring" someone whose identity I didn't even know? Editor’s Note: Everything is an accusation to Kali, really. Since espeically I had NO idea that Jimmy mun WAS lajabberwocky until this e-mail? I had no idea who she was. Was I supposed to get my osmosis in the ether somehow that she was Jimmy mun? Jackmun in particular was very protective of her and never told me what her personal LJ is. Most importantly, I NEVER asked. I didn't want to know. I assumed Jabber was just a real person player, because I remember her on Sages way before Jimmy ever arrived. Please stop assuming motive and accusing before you get the facts. Even if I did know, whatever I could read was public. I don't even remember READING her LJ for months and months, but again, most importantly, I DIDN'T KNOW. Wow, you guys really like to hold on to grudges and assume the worst, don't you? |
|
Editor’s Note: Um. Well. Thing is, she kind of … already does do shit like that. Monitor, etc. I don’t know why she read Trans all the time but she was obviously up to date on lots of stuff. Kind of creepy, actually.
#6
|
|
From: <orophinsgloss@-------.com> Metatronmun, As uncomfortable as I am with what I feel was a lecture that you gave me in your last long e-mail - which read to me as a kind of presumptious list of what I should do (because after all, no one else has made any mistakes, it seemed to read - and btw, Jackmun was dishonest with me, so it was a two way street, and I don't mean about modding - you were also dishonest, which makes your lecturing me about same a little unpalatable) Editor’s Note: ... hello? Earth logic? Are you anywhere in there? Lie of omission versus actively lying about alts? - I want you to know that whatever discomfort I have with you now will probably dissipate with time. I also want you to know that you are welcome at Sages. Yes, just because I am not entirely comfortable with someone does not mean that I don't want them at Sages. I LIKE your characters and your writing. I'd like you to be a part of Sages, if you're so inclined. You've always been welcome there despite whatever feelings I have/had about Trans. Editor’s Note: Oh man. Kali’s SO GENEROUS. The irony of Jimmy mun stepping down - as I just learned - was that I was going to write you last week and ask if it would be ok to extend an olive branch to her, and ask her back to Sages. Kalimun |
|
Editor’s Note: SURE SHE WAS. It’s safe to say so now, of course. What a sanctimonious little shitwad.
