Thriftie

From Superdickery

Thriftie.

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Thriftie is the fictional lust object of forum user Rad McAwesome. She is a character that first appeared in an episode of The New Batman Adventures, more specifically the episode Beware the Creeper, for a grand total of twenty seconds. This was her first, and last appearance in the DC Universe, essentially making her the most obscure character ever created. Facts we know about her are that she works in a thrift store (sporting a sign that merely says "Vintage Clothing"), and that she is very bored. According to forum user Rad McAwesome, the major authority on the subject, she is also poor, shoplifts coconuts and has a very soft, squishy bosom. She appears to be in her early twenties. She is lusted after for her short, black hair, the green sweater she looks so cute in, her cute voice, and most notably, her completely stoic behaviour; Coming face to face with a hyperactive, half-naked, lime green lunatic (The Creeper), she remains unbelievably bored and disinterested. Thriftie was designed by Bruce W. Timm, and voiced by E.G. Daily, a VA most famous for her roles as Tommy from Rugrats, and Buttercup from The Powerpuff Girls.

Origin Story

As of the 3rd of December 2005, Thriftie has an unofficial backstory as written by Rad McAwesome:


Seven years ago, fourteen year old Trisha Feigh, a scatty, introverted teenager decided to run away from home, like many teenagers tend to do at that age. While taking refuge in one of Gotham's many abandoned residential buildings, Trisha was awoken by the sound of splintering wood in the next room. Having grown up on Nancy Drew, Trisha went to investigate! The sight she saw when she opened the door scarred her for life: The Batman, a black monstrous figure with glowing white eyes, seemingly poised to strike was crouching only several feet away from her. Thanks to her parents' stories, Trisha had grown up with the idea of Batman as a type of boogieman. "If you've been bad, the Batman will come to get you and take you back to his cave, where he'll drink your blood, suck out your eyeballs and boil you alive!" Trisha, frightened out of her mind, slammed the door shut and ran off, straight out of the building in her PJ's and back to her parents (who weren't bad parents at all but whom she just ran away from because teenagers are dumb and ungrateful) without stopping to rest and leaving all of her possessions back at the building. Trisha was grounded for three months, but she had learned her lesson and hoped she'd never have to experience that again.

However, the very next night, the doorbell rang; her father, who had opened the door, looking slightly nervous came into her room (as she was grounded, obviously) and stated she "had a visitor." Who would step out from behind him but the black, imposing figure of... The Batman!¹ However, in the safety of her own room, with her father nearby and the bright light of her clown shaped lamp chasing away the shadows, she noticed the Batman wasn't a horrible monster at all. In fact, he looked kind of goofy with his black leather underwear over his spandex outfit, and from the part of his face the cowl didn't hide she could tell he was actually a rather handsome man. The Batman casually dropped off the sleeping bag, suitcase and her stuffed otter doll known as Philippe she had left in the building the other night, and any and all sense of fear for the man had left her. The two had a little chat over a glass of milk and some cookies² the Batman had brought himself and it turned out the only reason Batman was at the building at the time was because he had gathered information that a criminal on the loose had spent the night there, whom he was trying to capture. Trisha came away from the ordeal an experience richer, and she vowed to herself she would never be superstitious or cowardly ever again; When she turned eightteen, Trisha kissed her parents goodbye and left to experience everything the DC Universe had to offer her, from superheroes to monsters to space creatures to self-inserted bald comic book writers. But, after having seen literally everything the universe had to offer her, she decided to return to Gotham and settle there on her own.

One night, while sitting in her low-rent appartment with her two cats "Fart" and "Cat #2", Trisha decided she needed a job. But what? Hopefully it wasn't going to be something dark, terrible... The answer came in the form of a Help Wanted sign crashing through her bedroom window.

"I shall become a thrift store manager."

Now, the girl known as Thriftie has a job as the manager of a mildly succesful thrift store, and attempts to fight the forces of boredom using her extensive collection of 70's glam rock records and colorful decorative toesocks. Despite never managing to keep a boyfriend for longer than a month (being referred to as, amongst other things, an "ice queen"), Thriftie is pretty satisfied with her current situation nonetheless. Maybe some day, some time, someone will come along to sweep her off her feet and manage to make her feel excited again, but as of yet she remains seated behind the counter of "Ditko's Vintage Clothing" being generally unimpressed by everthing.

Joining the ranks of such legendary characters as Hot Maid, Zorina and That One Girl In The Background From 100 Bullets, Thriftie is the most exciting addition to the DCU in years!

¹LEGENDS OF BATMAN

²Baked by Alfred, of course.


Appearances

Following is a transcript of the scene Thriftie appears in. A video file of the scene can be viewed here.


(A panning shot of a thrift store. Suddenly, in bursts The Creeper, knocking over a mannequin.)

Creeper: "Wardrobe!"

(All the people in the store run away scared, aside from Thriftie, the manager. Creeper rummages through some clothes.)

Creeper: "No, nope, no, NO!"

(Meanwhile, Thriftie stands there, casually avoiding the clothes Creeper is tossing in her direction. Creeper pulls out a plastic Batman mask and holds it in front of her face. Cue Batman theme. Creeper tosses the mask aside.)

Creeper: "It's been done." (Turning to Thriftie.) "Any suggestions?"

Thriftie: With your coloring I'd go green. (Casually holds up a pair of green briefs with one finger. Creeper swipes it away from her.)

Creeper: "Gotcha!"

(Creeper jumps behind a dressing screen. The sounds of clothes ripping can be heard. Creeper grabs a nearby mannequin wearing a red boa. A second later the mannequin, sans boa, flies out from behind the screen. More clothes ripping. Meanwhile, Thriftie casually walks up to the cash register. Creeper tosses the dressing screen away, revealing his new costume, and poses.)

Creeper: "What about the boa, too much?!"

Thriftie: (Stoically, with her chin resting on her hand.) "Not for you baby."

Creeper: (Walks up to Thriftie with a menacing glare.) "I wanna strike terror into the hearts of criminals!"

Thriftie: (Raising an eyebrow, still stoic.) "Cash or plastic?"

(Creeper smashes the plastic Batman mask against the counter.)

Creeper: (Shoves his face right in front of Thriftie's.) "Plastic!" (Giggles manically.)

Thriftie: (As stoic as can be.) "Hah. Funny."

(Creeper bursts out of the store through the double doors, laughing manically and avoiding a car.)


There is also a second, uncomfirmed appearance of the character in issue 3 of the comic book Harley and Ivy by Bruce W. Timm and Paul Dini. On one page, a picture of a character in a newspaper resembles the Thriftie character. However, the paper refers to her as Harley's "former shrink", so any connections to Thriftie are probably unintentional.

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(Note the hairstyle, hairband and stoic facial expression.)

As of the 25th of January 2006 it has been confirmed that the character is indeed not Thriftie, but merely a random psychiatrist (as seen in the Batman comic Mad Love by Bruce W. Timm and Paul Dini, and the New Batman Adventures episode of the same name) that looks like her. She goes by the name of "Joan Leland", and the thing that most sets her apart from Thriftie is the fact that she is black.


As of the 1st of January 2006, Rad McAwesome's obsession reached a new low, as he had John from the erotic drawing website Thong Revolution(Note: Site is not safe for work) draw a picture of the character naked, as can be found on the aforementioned website.

See also

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