Virtual Simulation

From Psycho Bonus Stage

Psycho BS Episode 6

Several members of the fanbase jack themselves into the Internet, and attempt to find what's blocking Keenspot and Bonus Stage in true Megaman style.

Characters (in order of appearance): Psychosis, Rubyrulez, Mandy, Hagurumon, Clan rHrN, Evil

Contents

Transcript

(Cut to a black screen.)

ANNOUNCER: Previously, on Bonus Stage...

(The sound of someone farting can be heard. Opening credits.)

(Cut to Psychosis, Rubyrulez, Mandy and Hagurumon in an unknown land.)

RUBYRULEZ: It worked! I didn't expect anything from the Home Shopping Network to work!

{a pause}

MANDY: I thought it was your invention...

RUBYRULEZ: It is, but somehow HSN got a hold of it. {Rubyrulez pulls out a pair of oven mitts} All I got were these cruddy oven mitts.

HAGURUMON: Now that we're here, what do we do next.

RUBYRULEZ: Well, we try to find out what's stopping Bonus Stage {he pulls out a tracking device} using this!

MANDY: Did you also buy that from the Home Shopping Network?

RUBYRULEZ: {nervous} I don't have a problem... {His eyes grow wide} I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM!

CLAN: Alright...who bonked me in the head?

MANDY: Candice did!

CLAN: Why do you always blame Candice for something someone else has done?

MANDY: Well... Psychosis tried to delete you but that could cause a glitch in the system.

CLAN: Why did you kiss me?

MANDY: Shut up before I make your nose bleed again!

CLAN: Fine, whatever. I'ma go play StarCraft.

{pause}

PSYCHOSIS: Why? Aren't you going to defend yourself or something?

RUBYRULEZ: That's the strangest thing I've ever heard, and I've heard some pretty strange sh...eeeeeep.

CLAN: Hmm. Whatever, I'ma go play StarCraft and drink 500 bottles of Pepsi.

{Clan walks offscreen}

MANDY: Good!

RUBYRULEZ: Hmm, I don't get what's up with him even if it has nothing to do with me.

PSYCHOSIS: I would think that a minor appearance of blood would rate as within PG13, and that's where we want to stay. So why can't we even use that?

CLAN: {offscreen} Let's see: I don't like it when you talk about nose blood. It's very gross and irrelevant.

PSYCHOSIS: So, in other words...we have to be rated G for "everydbody" programs. Ugh.

CLAN: {offscreen} Not necessarily. Talk about other types of blood, like blood pressure, for example.

HAGURUMON: You know, I've only had one line so far. It's making me kinda mad. I need a hug.

{Hagurumon lifts his arms for a hug, but nobody hugs him. He lowers his arms.}

HAGURUMON: I'm gonna cry now. Especially because I miss my Bonus Stage. {starts crying}

RUBYRULEZ: Great. You made him cry.

{Hagurumon curls up into a ball and continues crying.}

MANDY: Awesome. Just radical. Now the only guy who has never made him cry is that dude. {points somewhere off-screen}

{Cut to Big Fat Guy, jumping on them all. Then cut back to the previous scene, where Hagurumon continues crying.}

MANDY: I stand corrected.

HAGURUMON: Hey, I'm not crying anymore! But I still want my dog-gone hug.

{Ruby and Mandy shrug, and then they both hug Hagurumon. Rubyrulez pulls out his tracker.}

RUBYRULEZ: OK, now let's find the Bonus Stage website, and see what's up.

MANDY: Shouldn't we just type it into the navigation bar?

RUBYRULEZ: We would, if there were any!

HAGURUMON: Let's do it... {close-up on Hagurumon's face} ...in true Megaman style!

PSYCHOSIS: But unfortunately, I can't see anywhere to 'jack in'. So I'll just start walking over...there (points offscreen). Any of you are free to follow me.

HAGURUMON: Well, we could always use the device I used to place all of my online friends inside my own webtoon, but... There's some glitches and... I don't think there's a way to get out. EVER.

(pause. Some muffled screams and thumps can be heard.)

PSYCHOSIS: What, like a dungeon? It's almost like- (is assaulted by a black figure and carried offscreen)

RUBYRULEZ: That explains teenage chatrooms...

MANDY: We gotta follow them!

RUBYRULEZ: We will {he pulls out another weird device} with this!

MANDY: Stop with the weird devices that you purchased from TV!

RUBYRULEZ: What?! I'm seeing a shrink about this...

HAGURUMON: Just shut up and let's get going!

{Ruby, Hagurumon, and Mandy run in the direction of the mysterious figure.}

MANDY: Who was that?

RUBYRULEZ: We shouldn't take any chances. We should play in a band, just to be safe...

{a pause}

HAGURUMON: No...

{Hagurumon pulls a sword out of nowhere.}

HAGURUMON: ...I think it's time to fight some Orcs. Ruby, you defend the breach. Mandy, you and me'll knock down the ladders!

MANDY: Uh... are you okay?

HAGURUMON: Are you guys with me or not?

{Long pause.}

RUBYRULEZ: ...not?

{Everyone continues chasing the mysterious figure. Hagurumon slowly falls behind. Eventually, Rubyrulez notices that he's gone.}

RUBYRULEZ: Oh, no! They've kidnapped Hagurumon, too!

{Hagurumon walks up.}

HAGURUMON: No, I'm just slow as heck. I once lost a race to a turtle.

MANDY: Yeah, yeah, good for you. Nobody caaaares...nobody caaaaaares...

HAGURUMON: For the love of God, stop singing!

MANDY: {disappointed} Ohhh-kay.

RUBYRULEZ: Now come on, we've gotta save Psychosis!

HAGURUMON: Or do we?

RUBYRULEZ: ...No, I'm pretty sure we do.

HAGURUMON: Oh.

{The mysterious figure appears in front of them.}

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE: Even with your combined powers, you cannot defeat me.

HAGURUMON: Well, duh. My power level is like... negative one million.

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE: You'll never get your friend back... EVER!

RUBYRULEZ: Really? Because we were going to play Scrabble tonight.

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE: Well, too bad!

MANDY: Why did you kidnap him? Is there some kind of plot importance here?

HAGURUMON: Dude... I still have this sword!

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE: Yeah... anyway... I'm retreating now. See ya. {vanishes in a cloud of black smoke}

HAGURUMON: Man, that was cliche.

MANDY: You had that sword this whole time, didn't you?

HAGURUMON: Yeah. Kinda.

MANDY: ...And you didn't bother to use it to save Psychosis?

HAGURUMON: Wait, was I supposed to?

RUBYRULEZ and MANDY: YES!

RUBYRULEZ: Darn, now how are we gonna find them?

MANDY: I don't know. You're the one with all the gadgets!

RUBYRULEZ: Oh yeah, that's right!

{Rubyrulez pulls out a VCR.}

HAGURUMON: A VCR?

RUBYRULEZ: Just watch.

{Rubyrulez presses the rewind button, and the scene backtracks to before the mysterious figure disappeared.}

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE: OK, what the hell?

RUBYRULEZ: We want our friend!

HAGURUMON: Or I'll...um...poke you with this sword.

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE: No.

HAGURUMON: Then you leave me no choice.

(Hagurumon pokes Mysterious Figure lightly with the sword, he explodes spectacularly, and Clan appears, battered and bruised.)

CLAN: Oh thank god-

MANDY: NOOOO! You're not our friend!

PSYCHOSIS: (pops in from offscreen) Hey guys, I'm done shopping.

HAGURUMON: Hey you're - what?

PSYCHOSIS: I raced this guy down to the supermarket. And I thought I'd grab some supplies with my non-existant "buy as much as you want for free" credit card.

RUBYRULEZ: Oh....kay....You're almost worse than Hag during that war.

HAGURUMON: Hey, look over there!

{Hagurumon points to what appears to be a tear in the fabric of cyberspace. Ruby, Hagurumon, Mandy and Psychosis walk up to it and look inside.}

RUBYRULEZ: What in the name of Brett Farve is this?

MANDY: Magic Johnson?

HAGURUMON: It appears to be a rip in the fabric of cyberspace!

PSYCHOSIS: Do those even exist?!

RUBYRULEZ: Look at the sign.

{They look above the rip at a sign that reads "bonusstages.com"}

HAGURUMON: Oh, snap-izzle. I'm gonna need another hug.

{Mandy bashes him over the head with a rock.}

HAGURUMON: That... was AWESOME! Do it again!

RUBYRULEZ: He's becoming more like Jessica each day. We should throw him overboard.

MANDY: We're not on a ship!

PSYCHOSIS: What if it's a ship of data?!

MANDY: A... wha?

CLAN: What're we going to do?!

RUBYRULEZ: Oh, right. I almost forgot about this whole "Bonus Stage is down" thing due to this unfunny sub-plot that should be ignored completely.

HAGURUMON: But can I have another hug... or am I supposed to die of starvation?

PSYCHOSIS: Hey! Do something with that VCR thing!

RUBYRULEZ: What? This old thing? {holds up VCR} I bought this off a guy at the pub. He offered me a dragon egg, too, but I turned him down.

PSYCHOSIS: And then Hagrid-urumon got the egg and hatched a dragon and burnt his computer with BS episodes (saved to disk) to the ground.

HAGURUMON: Yes, nice deduction, Harry-osis, but that's not the problem. The problem is that we're facing some portal thingy but we're not really sure whether it'll take us to the right place.

MANDY: Maybe not, but what else can we do?

HAGURUMON: Uh...run around like maniacs? Like, 10,000 Maniacs?

MANDY: Yes.

{Mandy and Hagurumon begin running around screaming.}

MANDY: NOOOOO! WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

{Rubyrulez holds a mysterious scanner up to the hole.}

HAGURUMON: Another Home Shopping Special?

RUBYRULEZ: My scanner indicates that this area was once infected by over 400,000 viruses!

MANDY: That's not a good prize!

RUBYRULEZ: This is indeed the Bonus Stage Website, but it was completely destroyed.

PSYCHOSIS: Nothing left to do but investigate further, I suppose.

HAGURUMON: Looks like I have to get nekkid and dance around while singing the Bacon Man song!

MANDY: No, but go ahead and do that last part.

HAGURUMON: The singing?

MANDY: Yeah. Do that.

HAGURUMON: I don't feel like it.

PSYCHOSIS: Can we focus on the-

{The rip keeps growing, as everyone back away from it. Then it rapidly expands and sucks Hagurumon in.}

HAGURUMON: Holy snaaaaaaap!

MANDY: Whoa. Dude. I'm, like, speechless. And not in a good way.

PSYCHOSIS: Oh no! It's still growing! Run, people, run!

{The rip sucks Mandy in. She screams. Rubyrulez stares blankly.}

PSYCHOSIS: Ruby, did you completely forget what I just told you?

RUBYRULEZ: Oh, right.

{Rubyrulez and Psychosis continue running.}

PSYCHOSIS: We can make it!

{Suddenly, Rubyrulez is sucked in as well.}

RUBYRULEZ: {a-la Strong Bad} A-Holy Craaaaaaaap!

PSYCHOSIS: Aw peas!

CLAN: Cool, cool, depressing, cool.

PSYCHOSIS: How the crap did you get here?

CLAN: I used the back door.

(Clan smiles. Psychosis just stares at him.)

CLAN: Well, repeating dialogue is good for a healthy brain.

PSYCHOSIS: Your brain is not healthy by any means. You need a therapist, and fast!

{Meanwhile, Hagurumon, Mandy, and Rubyrulez have wound up in the Bonus Stage website, which has been all but destroyed.}

MANDY: Wow, it's all deserted.

RUBYRULEZ: Of course it's deserted! Who would willingly go somewhere this dilapitated?

(Clan appears via a portal. The portal mysteriously makes him disappear again)

MANDY: Good!

(Psychosis appears via the same portal Clan had traveled through)

PSYCHOSIS: Wow, Clan is extremely...wait, what directions is this episode headed in?

MANDY: I can tell you immediately, nowhere good!

HAGURUMON: LEMONS!

RUBYRULEZ: Great, we made him insane a bit too early.

(Evil appears)

EVIL: Joel's gone, and you guys will join him. I hope you guys like flying nunbombs.

(Evil shoots out flying nunbombs at Mandy, Rubyrulez, and Hagurumon, who dodge nearly every nunbomb)

{Hagurumon pulls Evil's mask off to reveal Johnny Solution Boy.}

RUBYRULEZ: I knew it!

JOHNNY SOLUTION BOY: Eat poo!

{Psychosis shoots Johnny with his pistol.}

PSYCHOSIS: Take that!

(Evil reappears)

EVIL: Hahaha! You fools! That was a clone of me!

RUBYRULEZ: D'oh!

EVIL: I hope you like flying nunbombs.

(Evil shoots a nunbomb and sends Mandy flying)

CLAN: How dare you! Prepare to die!

PSYCHOSIS: STAY OUT OF THE EPISODE!!!

CLAN: Nope!

MANDY: Man, the Clan never quits!

(Clan gets out his ebony axe to chop Evil's head off, but Evil ducks as soon as Clan seings his axe. Soon, Clan spins and ends up doing a bladestorm, causing the internet to have a much higher latency than expected)'

HAGURUMON: {dressed as Jessica} Hey, guys! I'm still alive!

{Everyone stares at Hagurumon's new clothes, obviously weirded out.}

HAGURUMON: So do you wanna go get some pizza?

{Everyone continues staring.}

RUBYRULEZ: Wait a sec, wait a sec?! Since when did the plot suddenly change?

HAGURUMON: Yeah?!

MANDY: I hate this plot, anyways!

RUBYRULEZ: Time for me to revert this plot back to the original plot {he pulls out a device} with this!

MANDY: Oh-no!

{Rubyrulez pushes the button, bringing him, Mandy, Hagurumon, Clan and Psychosis back into the episodes original plotline, and going back to before any of the afformentioned plot takes place.}

{Cut to Ruby, Hagurumon, Mandy and Psychosis in a destroyed Charismaville.}

MANDY: Ruby, you realize that there's nothing here, right?

RUBYRULEZ: That's right! Our real goal is to find out what happened to Bonus Stage.

HAGURUMON: Yeah! And I'm beginning to miss Jessica a whole lot.

(short pause)

PSYCHOSIS: Uh...Jessica left Bonus Stage a long time ago, mate.

MANDY: All the way back in Depart's All Yours...

RUBYRULEZ: The episodes back then were heavenly...

HAGURUMON: JESSICA! WHERE ARE YOU!? (cries)

(Mandy, Psychosis and Rubyrulez become wide-eyed. Pause.)

{Roll End Credits.}

Fun Facts

Trivia

  • Clan revised some of the beginning because it was off-topic, gross, and irrelevant to the main plot.

Real World References

  • "That's not a good prize!"
    • This line is a reference to the Strong Bad E-mail "virus"
  • "...I think it's time to fight some Orcs. Ruby, you defend the breach. Mandy, you and me'll knock down the ladders!"
    • This is a reference to The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.
    • Orcs are a race from World of Warcraft and Dungeons and Dragons, as well as just about every other game. They're considered to be mythological creatures.
  • Harry Potter is a novel series featuring characters such as "Hagrid" and Harry himself.
  • Clan is playing StarCraft in the parts of the episode where he isn't seen.
  • Pepsi is a soda product.
  • Scrabble is a board game where you make words using letters in order to gain points.


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