Episode 1: Pilot

From Yugiohtas

Episode 1
Pilot
Season	1
Based on YGO episodes	1
Length	3:55
Characters	Joey, Mokuba Kaiba, Pegasus, Seto Kaiba, Solomon Muto, Tea, Tristan, Yami, Yugi
Episode link

Pilot was the first episode of Yu-Gi-Oh! the Abridged Series. It focuses on the first episode of Yu-Gi-Oh!, where Seto Kaiba steals Solomon Muto's Blue Eyes White Dragon, and is defeated in a duel with Yugi. Seto Kaiba's popular catchphrase, "Screw the rules, I have money!" is first said in this episode.

Site description

Our tale begins. Yugi and Kaiba face-off in a duel.

Script

Narrator: Yu-Gi-Oh! is filmed before a live studio audience.
Yugi: Hey, Joey! Earth to Joey! Hey, are you in there? It's your move!
Joey: Sorry, Yug, doing this Brooklyn accent makes it difficult to concentrate on card games.
Tristan: I know what you mean, my voice is pretty crazy too! I'm thinking about changing it.
Yugi: By the way, my grandpa has a super rare card.
Tristan: Groovy!
???: ???
Kaiba: Rare card...that sounds vague enough to be the Blue Eyes White Dragon. And since I'm a child billionare in charge of a huge gaming company, I obviously have nothing better to do than go check it out.

Yugi: Hey gramps, can we please see your super rare awesome ??? mega super card?
Solomon: I don't see why not. Here it is, the Blue Eyes White Dragon!
Joey: That's the least threatening name for a monster I've ever heard. What kind of mook could want a card like that?
Kaiba: I'm here for your Blue Eyes, old man, and I won't take 'no' for an answer! Now give it to me!
Solomon: No.
Kaiba: Curses, foiled again. I'm gonna go hire some thugs to kidnap you now. I'm a billionare, so...nobody will even think about pressing charges.
Solomon: That Kaiba kid needs to get laid.
Tristan: Big time!

Yugi: Hello? Game Shop.
Kaiba: I kidnapped your grandpa, Yugi, and then I duelled him into submission. So could you get over here and call an ambulance for him? I have far too much money to be expected to do it myself.
Yugi: Wait, who is this?

Yugi: Grandpa! Are you okay?
Solomon: For some reason, playing a card game has caused me to become severely injured.
Kaiba: That's right. And now, watch this!
Kaiba tears Solomon's Blue Eyes White Dragon in two pieces.
Yugi: Grandpa's special super rare awesome super card!
Joey: What the heck did you do that for?
Kaiba: So that it could never be used against me.
Yugi: In that case, why not just tear up every card in the whole world?
Kaiba: Shut up and duel me.
Yugi: Don't worry, gramps, I'll win this duel with your deck!
Solomon: Wait, wait a minute. I've been injured, so you're going to steal my deck and go play cards with your arch rival?
Yugi: Pretty much.
Solomon: No wonder your parents are never around!

Tea: Gather round, everyone, and I'll mark us with a special sign.
Joey: Er, Tea, hey, not for nothing but...ain't this permanent marker?
Tea: Oh...whoops.
Joey: Why were you even carrying around the thing in the first place?
Tea: I'm a kleptomaniac, I stole it from school.
Tristan: Hey, my wallet's missing!
Tea: Kaiba took it!

Yami: It's time to duel!
Kaiba: Wait, did your testicles just drop in the last five seconds or something, what the heck happened to your voice?
Yami: Holy Ra! Real monsters!
Kaiba: Actually, they're just super-advanced holograms, created for the sole purpose of enriching the experience of a children's card game.
Yami: Okay, seriously, you've got to be (...)ing kidding me! Who wastes all their money on something like that?
Kaiba: The guy who's going to beat your pasty Pharaoh butt with three Blue Eyes White Dragons, that's who!
Yami: Wait a minute, did you just summon a bunch of monsters in one turn?
Kaiba: Yeah, so?
Yami: That's against the rules, isn't it?
Kaiba: Screw the rules, I have money! Now draw your last pathetic card, Yugi, so I can finish you!
Yami: My grandpa's deck has no pathetic cards, Kaiba! Except maybe for Kuriboh. But it also has this!
Yami draws 'Exodia the Forbidden One'.
Yami: The unstoppable Exodia!
Kaiba: Ah! Exodia! It's not possible! Nobody's ever been able to summon him!
Yami: Really? Is that because it's so rare?
Kaiba: No, it's because this game makes no sense! Nobody could figure out how to do it!
Yami: Nobody except me! Exodia, OBLITERATE!
Mokuba: Big brother! Is it time for my cameo yet?
Kaiba: How? How could you summon Exodia?
Yami: Kaiba, if you really wish to know, then talk to the hand!
Yami Mind Crushes Kaiba

Solomon: I wet myself.

Random person: Mister Pegasus, sir, it seems the reigning Duel Monsters champion has been defeated by someone named Yugi. Also, it's time for your sponge bath.
Pegasus: Hmm.

Notes

• According to the Yu-Gi-Oh! Trading Card Game rules, you can only summon one level 4 or lower monster per turn, or summon a level 5 or 6 monster by sacrificing a monster, or summon a level 7 or higher monster by sacrificing two monsters. Blue Eyes White Dragon is a level 8 monster, so in Kaiba's case, it would take him at least 9 turns to summon three Blue Eyes White Dragons without cheating.
• Screw the rules, I have money! has become Kaiba's catchphrase. It is probably the most popular Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series quote.