The Gwiddian Diaries

Time and date: 22:10, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
Current mood: Feeling relaxed
Location: Saxophonic devil

Hello, Diary. My bicycle having been repaired, I headed northwards to Harvol City. I have heard it is amazing and full of glee. I planned on bringing Bongo, but he would rather sleep all day.

On the way to Harvol City, a man rushed up to me and took my money. I turned around to apprehend him, and he had fallen down a manhole, the money laying on the ground as he had dropped it. I found this rather humorous, and used one of my package monsters, named Snambodiac, to lift him out and put him right. He explained he had been driven mad by the devil's saxophone-playing over the next hill, and had been listening for three days. To break the spell he needed silver, which was my money's material. I forgave him, and continued over the next hill, wondering if the devil he spoke of was indeed playing a saxophone. And as I came to the top of the mound, I found it was true. A small amphitheatre had been erected with folding chairs set out for a hundred feet, and a devil, demonic and red in nature, was playing some nice jazz on his alto saxophone. I sat for a while and listened, before venturing closer to talk with him. He would not stop to talk, but instead, he excruded a blobbish piece of his flesh and it turned into a bottle of steak sauce with fangs and wings. It told me that the devil could not speak, as he was playing the saxophone. I questioned the steak sauce bottle as to whether this devil was related to an old friend of mine, named Chaos. It replied that it did not know, because that knowledge was inside the devil's brain, which was not given to him. I thanked him anyways, and made my way back to my bike. Pretty soon, though, I was enwrapped in the devil's enchantment, and sat down to listen for who knows how long. I am still listening. Using my magic monocle, I have managed to write this post while not breaking away for a second from the devil. I cannot reach my pocket, because by habit I sit on my right hand and my money is in my right pocket. My left hand could never reach that sitting down. So, I have ordered for assistance online, and I expect it to get here in a few hours. Hopefully. That is really all I have to tell you and- hey! There's another person! Help! I have to sign off now. Goodbye.

Time and date: 18:06, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
Current mood: Joyous
Location: Metal Cabin

Hello, Diary. I am Homfrog, and I have taken my time to write down my adventures around the land of Gwid. Today, I have journeyed about in the Ponnor forest, where all sorts of animals lurk. I came across a sleeping purple snake, which was curled up on a rock to warm up, I am assuming. On closer examination, it had a metal nose and was fuzzy all over. Not wanting to disturb it, I went back the way I had come, but I snapped a twig and it woke up. It slowly slithered over to me, opened its mouth wide, either yawning or showing off. But it had no teeth, only a soft pink tongue. It then lunged at me, trying to gnaw my hand, but it bonked its nose and fell on the ground. I worried it was hurt, so I lay it on a stump in the sun, and rubbed it with some mayonnaise. Instinctively, after a while it perked up and began to lick the mayonnaise off. It began to talk afterwards. It said its name was Bongo and it was grateful to me for helping it, even though it wasn't very injured. As I realized I was lost, Bongo led me back to my metal cabin. Then I made us both sandwiches, his with a dead rat on it. We have become the best of friends, and he has offered to show me around the Ponnor forest much more. I shall sign off at this point now, because I have to repair my bicycle. Goodbye.