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From Wuw Archive

{Tucker and Jimbob are walking home, backpacks on backs. The road walked has a sidewalk and numerous white houses. After a little walking, they reach their trailer park, with a lot worse scenery. A stray dog approaches, and the boys stop in interest.}

JIMBOB: Wow! Do you see that! A dog!

TUCKER: WELL NO F***ING DUH I SEE IT I'M RIGHT HERE

TUCKER: I mean, uh.. Cool! A dog!

JIMBOB: We should teach it wrestling!

TUCKER: YEAH!

{Tucker puts his, still magically full from draining it earlier, Mountain Dew bottle to the the dog's mouth.}

TUCKER: Fuel up, Dog!

DOG: Bark, bark.

{Tucker tips the bottle down, spilling the dew into the unwilling dog's mouth. Promptly after swallowing it, the dog projectile vomits green liquid all over Tucker's shorts.}

JIMBOB: Hah, he takes after you!

{The dog starts growling angrily.}

DOG: Grrr.

JIMBOB: I think he's angry, Tucker.

TUCKER: I can tell...!

{The dog's jaws are now clamped on Tucker's leg. Tucker is wincing.}

JIMBOB: Oh, he's got fight in em! {produces a can of Sprite out of his backpack and opens it}

TUCKER: HELP ME GODDAMNIT

JIMBOB: Uhh...

{The dog releases Tucker's now red leg. The dog is now dumbly happy, it's tongue lolling out.}

TUCKER: OWWWW

{Jimbob drinks his Sprite without making any attempt to alleviate Tucker's pain.}

{Cut: Tucker's room. A small bed is in the corner with WWE blankets, a John Cena poster, and a multitude of Pokemon cards both in a large tupper ware container and strewn about on the floor. Jimbob is sitting on the floor and Tucker is sitting on his bead. Dog is laying on his side, panting and drooling. Tucker pulls out a wrestling mask resembling The Blue Demon's out of his backpack and holds it up enthusiastically}

TUCKER: This dog will be... El Doggo Azul!

JIMBOB: That's a gay name.

TUCKER: YOU SHUT UP! YOU GOT A BETTER NAME?!

JIMBOB: The Iron Wolf...!

TUCKER: ...Yeah.

{Tucker tries to stretch the mask over the dog's muzzle. After his failed attempt, Tucker pulls out his hunting knife and cuts out the area in between the nose and mouth holes. He, now successfully, pulls it over the dog's head, the snout poking out of the enlarged hole. Tucker then pulls out a black, studded collar out of his backpack.}

JIMBOB: Where did you get that?

{Tucker gives a shrug and adorns the dog with the collar.}

TUCKER: How is it? THE IRON WOLF!

JIMBOB: We'll be so cool!

{Dog, or "The Iron Wolf", springs up on all fours and starts barking happily, albeit loudly.}

WOMAN'S VOICE: {a loud, mean, haggish voice} TUCKER, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

TUCKER: IT'S A DOG, MOM! GOD!

TUCKER'S MOM: JUST FEED IT! DON'T LET IT END UP LIKE THAT DAMN SQUIRREL! I DIDN'T FIND IT IN BETWEEN THE COUCH CUSHIONS UNTIL THE CAT STARTED CHEWIN ON IT!

TUCKER: OKAAAY! JEEESUS!

{pause}

JIMBOB: I think we need to get this thing trained.

{Cut: Tucker's yard. It's quite small, and a rotting stump is rooted near the corner of the property. Dog is chasing a bug, and Jimbob and Tucker are standing near.}

TUCKER: Wolf! Stop!

{Dog continues to pursue the bug.}

JIMBOB: Sit! Roll over!

{The bug flies into the middle of the road, and Dog follows. A car runs Dog over. The bug flies back to Tucker's yard and lands on the stump.}

TUCKER!: Agh! Iron Wolf!

JIMBOB: Welp.

{Jimbob sits down and plays his game boy.}

END