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{Fade in.}

ALEC: Welcome to Jeopardy! Tonight,

{Strong Bad}

ALEC: Strong Bad, who has no college diploma and calls himself "the Baddest of the Bads".

STRONG BAD: It's true!

{Shadow Scythe}

ALEC: Shadow Scythe, who refused to show us his face.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Glad to be here, Alec.

{Homestar}

ALEC: And Homestar Runner, who goes to L.U.R.N.

HOMESTAR: I can't wait for the Big Wheel!

ALEC: That's the Price is Right.

HOMESTAR: Oh, if that's the case, I'll guess X.

{Homestar's score goes down.}

ALEC: That was so wrong we actually put your score into the negatives.

{Alec}

ALEC: Now let's play Jeopardy! Today's topics:

  • Movie Stars
  • Algebra
  • VIDEO GAME
  • Christmas Presents
  • Disney Films

ALEC: Well, then, let's get started! Strong Bad!

STRONG BAD: I'll take Video Game for 300. I'm totally all over that.

"This unreleased game had a minigame inside that took 8 hours to get one point."

STRONG BAD: 8 hours?! Th-

ALEC: Please, Strong Bad, don't talk without buzzing in.

HOMESTAR: {bzzt}

{Pause}

ALEC: Yes, Homestar?

HOMESTAR: Oh, I just wanted to hear how it sounded. {bzzt}

SHADOW SCYTHE: {bzzt} Hey, it is fun. Penn & Teller's Smoke and Mirrors?

STRONG BAD: {bzzt} What IS Penn & Teller Up In Smoke or whatever?

ALEC: Well, I'm going to say close enough. We'll split it 50/50 — you both get 150.

SHADOW SCYTHE: 75/25 or I'm out.

ALEC: Fine, 75/25.

STRONG BAD: So, do I get to pick again?

ALEC: No, let's let Shadow pick.

SHADOW SCYTHE: Alright, I'll say Christmas Presents.

HOMESTAR: {bzzt} What is Deep Impact!

ALEC: Let me read the question first.

"This movie about an object colliding with Earth was released two months before another one, which fared better at the box office."

{Pause}

ALEC: Nothing?

{Pause}

ALEC: Really?

{Boop boop boop.}

ALEC: Look, I don't know how, Homestar, but you've got -$5,000 dollars. You actually owe us money.

HOMESTAR: I'll take "Movie Stars" for 300, Alec.

ALEC: It's not even your — oh whatever. Bring it up.

"He directed and starred in Citizen Kane."

STRONG BAD: {bzzt} David Lynch?

ALEC: N-no, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: Whatever, all those "Artsy" pictures look the same to me.

SHADOW SCYTHE: {bzzt} WHO IS SLADE

HOMESTAR: Who is slade?

SHADOW SCYTHE: {bzzt} WHO IS SLADE

ALEC: Please stop, it is not Sl-

SHADOW SCYTHE: {bzzt} WHO IS SLADE

SHADOW SCYTHE: {bzzt} WHO IS SLADE

SHADOW SCYTHE: {bzzt} WHO IS SLADE

{Homestar begins frantically mashign his buzzer.}

ALEC: The buttons aren't meant for that...

{Strong Bad keeps a beat with his buzzer and begins singing badly.}

ALEC: Alright, let's just skip to Final Jeopardy...

"This book about World War II deals with themes of repitition, insanity, and mortality."

SHADOW SCYTHE: {interrupting the question} {bzzt} WHO IS SLADE

ALEC: It's not even a "Who Is" question!

STRONG BAD: {bzzt} Clearly, this is the only book worth reading -- the limozeen coloring book.

{Alec slumps over his poduium, tense.}

ALEC: {muttering} Where do we find these people... {angry} Alright, this is Final Jeopardy. You don't buzz in, you write down the answer after a minute, and then--

SHADOW SCYTHE: {bzzt} WHO IS SLADE

ALEC: ...and then we show you the answer.

STRONG BAD: Woah, we get shown the answer?

ALEC: No, I mean you show us the answers.

HOMESTAR: How much momey do you get for winning?

ALEC: Just place a bet. Go.

{Final Jeopardy music.}

ALEC: {cutting the music off} Alright, show your answers.

{Homestar}

ALEC: Homestar bet... that he would eat his own hat. And his answer was "What is Count Longuardeaux's Collection of FCUSA's Least Child-Friendly Scenes of Carnage." Alright, not the right answer, but it's on the right track.

HOMESTAR: Aw, rats! {begins eating his own hat}

ALEC: I'm pretty sure that that can kill you, but moving on to Shadow Scythe...

{Shadow Scythe}

ALEC: He bet all of Strong Bad's money. Is that legal, Don?

DON PARDO: Well, nobody's tried it before, Alec!

ALEC: Okay... and his guess is going to be, just making a wild quess here, "Who is Slade". Am I right? Is it? Aw, it is. How adorable. And now you're htting the buzzer again. Picturesque. Hopefully Strong Bad satisfies —

STRONG BAD: Oh, Strong Bad satisfies always totally.

ALEC: And proves that he knows his literature.

STRONG BAD: One of my nicknames is "The Most Literate".

{Strong Bad}

ALEC: Strong Bad bet "Like, infinity dollars". I'm not sure we can supply that, Strong Bad.

STRONG BAD: No, you just pay me as much money as you can every day for the rest of my life.

ALEC: ...right, and his answer was probably something like "Die Hard" and... no. Oh my god, he answered "What is Catch-22?". The provided answer is Slaughterhouse-Five, but that works too. I can't believe it. How do you know the answer?

STRONG BAD: I read it for the bits about naked ladies.

ALEC: Alright, I guess that counts.

{Alec throws away his cards.}

ALEC: Well, join us next time, where winner Strong Bad faces off against H

SHADOW SCYTHE: {bzzt} WHO IS SLADE

ALEC: WE'RE NOT EVEN PLAYING ANY MORE. {cough} Faces off against Homeschool and Skullbuggy.

{fade out.}

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