Super Sam accidentally the entire Wiki User Wiki.

From Wuw Archive

Synopsis

An analysis of this "friend zone"; and why they have more than one mayor.

Parodied Hitlist

1. Friend zones - When one person in a friend relationship has romantic interest in the other member, but the feelings are not mutual. It is also a pyschological trap explained in this episode.
2. Sentence fragments. Typical fanfics have a plethora of these.
3. AxelxRoxas; IT'S CRACK I TELL YOU!
4. Announcers can often be author surrogates, like this one that's a surrogate of myself.
5. Kairi is being shipped with Roxas this time BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT!
6. The convoluted Kingdom Hearts 2 plot. WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON, AXEL?!
7. Axel committing suicide.
8. Kingdom Hearts "know-it-alls" and Joseph from Wikihood Redux.
9. "Got it memorized?" - My favorite thing about Kingdom Hearts 2 ever.

Transcript

{The screen is still black}

ANNOUNCER: {soothing voice} Good evening, viewer. Or viewers. Or I don't give a crap. Anyway, today's episode is dedicated to anyone who is the mayor of any friend zones in existence. And also any inhabitants of this friend zone business.

{Disc scratching is heard}

ANNOUNCER: What? The residents of Twilight Town? But I can't even remember their names!

{Yet more disc scratching can be heard}

ANNOUNCER: The Friend Zone is Twilight Town? This is utter nonsense!

{And even yet, more disc scratching can be heard}

ANNOUNCER: AXEL is going to be shipped with ROXAS? Unfathomable.

{The screen opens to the mansion from Kingdom Hearts 2}

ANNOUNCER: We have a scene where everything is seemingly typical of Twilight Town.

{Cut to Axel's room in the mansion. Axel can be seen wearing a tuxedo}

ANNOUNCER: We have Axel, No. 8 in Organization XIII. This guy killed himself for Roxas. But Roxas never loved him back. Ever.

{Axel leaves the mansion, carrying a bouquet of flowers. He continues walking}

ANNOUNCER: The friend zone is a psychological mind trick. Someone who cannot resist being disgusted by their typical, pathetic lives usually performs this trick on another person.

{Axel goes over to Roxas' house, and rings the doorbell}

ANNOUNCER: Just yesterday, Axel met Roxas in a cafe. Now he is smitten by the OBNOXIOUS Keyblade-wielding TRICKSTER. {mumbling} I hate Kingdom Hearts fanfiction.

{Roxas opens the door}

AXEL: Roxas! I came to bring you flowers.

ROXAS: Why doesn't Kairi ever do that for me?

{Scene is paused}

ANNOUNCER: Notice how Roxas is mentioning his ex-girlfriend. Phase 1 of Mayoring the Friend Zone is when the person you love mentions their ex in front of you.

{Scene is unpaused}

ROXAS: Thanks for the flowers. What kind are they?

AXEL: They're the kind that smell like the fire that's in my heart.

ROXAS: What would I do without you?

ANNOUNCER: Without Axel, you, Roxas, would not have anyone to smack your Keyblades against.

AXEL: I was going to ask; will you go out with me?

ROXAS: I don't think I'm ready for another relationship yet. I just broke up with Kairi this morning.

{Scene is paused again}

ANNOUNCER: Step two is when you ask the person you love out, and they decline in the same manner Roxas does.

{Scene is unpaused}

AXEL: Oh well. I guess I can go do something else.

{Axel walks offscreen}

ANNOUNCER: What Axel doesn't realize is that he's being duped. He'll continue persisting. Even when Roxas merges with Sora.

{Cut to Hollow Bastion. Saix is waiting for Sora there.}

SAIX: Ah, you seem to be looking for Kairi again? Well Axel has her. In his-

{Axel warps}

AXEL: NOOOOOO! Sora, I'm keeping Kairi safe from the Organization! All for you.

{Sora blinks and makes a clueless face. Donald and Goofy arrive, both disgusted}

DONALD: Let's go. The redhead's creeping me out.

GOOFY: Ha-yuk! Agreed.

{Scene paused}

ANNOUNCER: Upon meeting them sometime later, they later forget your existence. Sucks to be Axel, doesn't it? Step 3 is to be doormatted for contributing to Roxas' later killing of every Organization XIII member.

{Scene unpaused. Fast-forward to The World That Never Was, when Axel and Sora are all outnumbered by Dusks. Axel puts his whole being into a fiery attack, committing suicide.}

ANNOUNCER: Since Axel did not bother having his way with Kairi, or getting over Roxas, he atones by committing suicide.

AXEL: Roxas... I... love... you....

{Axel fades into nothingness, with Sora looking clueless as always}

ANNOUNCER: Roxas, while not having directly killed Axel, is indirectly responsible for his suicide.

{Joseph walks onscreen}

JOSEPH: Hey, wait a minute!

ANNOUNCER: What?

JOSEPH: That's not what happened in Kingdom Hearts 2. There's a thing known as Kingdom Hearts Insider if you'd like to know.

ANNOUNCER: I'm capturing the essence of the friend zone, not re-telling Axel's unhappy suicide. Oh wait.

JOSEPH: Those aren't even his lines.

ANNOUNCER: I don't care.

JOSEPH: You should care.

ANNOUNCER: But I don't. I don't and I won't.

JOSEPH: Well up-yours, scummy!

ANOUNCER: In conclusion, Axel went from Twilight Town to become the mayor of The Friend Zone. Got it memorized?

{Joseph walks offscreen. End credits roll}