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Airstar Flyer Emails For Now/Wrap Up
From Wuw Archive
{We start at the Cloudy sitting at the table covered in dust and rust and bugs and bones. We zoom out to see the entire room with stains on the carpet and split signs that say "Flyer/Bland 08" on them. Airstar walks into the room and sits down at the table. Zoom in. He wipes off the dust, rust, bugs and bones and clicks on the icon that says "Post-Purge Email Time" and opens it up.}
AIRSTAR:Wow. Four months. Let's see the email.
{The text "0 EMAILS" flickers back at him.}
AIRSTAR:Oh. Well, then i'll tell you what has happened in the last four months. Let's do this!
{He turns around and faces the camera as it zooms out.}
AIRSTAR:Four months ago, let's see...
{Flashback goes to four months ago in July 2008. Schoolstar is talking to Homsar44withpie in the living room.}
SCHOOLSTAR:We may have defeated the Anti-Airstars and freed his folks, but we still don't know where he is! He's needed for his campaign for the King of Town!
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Yep. But how do we find out where he is? It's time for a SUPER-ULTRA-ALPHA-DOG-SEARCH-O-RAMA-2008!
{A graphic splashes onto the screen with bright colors with those words on it. Cut to Schoolstar and H44WP as well as The Chuck talking to Bubs.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Bubs, you know anything?
BUBS:I know where he is. I'm one of the guys who hid him away in the first place.
THE CHUCK:Get him!
{The Chuck jumps on him and tap dances on his face.}
BUBS:AHH! WHAT THE? YOU STUPID-FREAKIN' WORM PEICE OF {He wacks The Chuck off of his face.}I'll never tell you!
SCHOOLSTAR:Oh....really?
BUBS:Yes.
SCHOOLSTAR:oOoOoOoH REALLY?!
BUBS:YES!
SCHOOLSTAR:Oh. Then we're screwed.
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Don't talk like that, there's always hope.
SCHOOLSTAR:Yes We Can.
{Coach Z walks up to the stand.}
COACH Z:Oh, hellor there.
AIRSTAR:{Voiceover} Long story short, after they battled laser sharks they rescued me at the bottom of the sea.
{Cut to Schoolstar, The Chuck and Homsar44withpie in scuba diving outfits wacking sharks with lasers coming out of their mouths underwater.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Take that, and THIS!
{He wacks all the laser sharks at once, and they silently sink to the tune of a sad song. Then, the gang swims nearby to a small room at the bottom of the sea. They go to the door and attempt to open it.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Thing's stuck. The Chuck, hand me that paper clip!
THE CHUCK:What paper clip?
SCHOOLSTAR:Uh, that bottle of old Marley.
THE CHUCK:I don't know what you're talking about!
SCHOOLSTAR:HAND ME THAT HAIR CURLER!
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Here.
{He hands him a hair curler.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Um...thanks.
{Schoolstar jams the hair curler into the lock and the door opens, and water starts puring in. They get into the room fast and close the door to where they are only waist deep in water. They see Airstar sitting unconscience in a chair with a ripped shirt and stubble.}
THE CHUCK:Airstar!
{Airstar wakes up and sees them.}
AIRSTAR:Uh...(Cough) hey. Get me outta here...
SCHOOLSTAR:Don't worry, we will!
{Schoolstar puts a scarf on.}
SCHOOLSTAR:Because as friends we worked together to find you, as a whole we-
AIRSTAR:Stop bein' so freakin' preppy and get me outta here!
SCHOOLSTAR:Oh, right.
{Cut back to Airstar at a podium with seven American flags behind him.}
AIRSTAR:And then, I had to get back on the campaign trail for King of Town in 2008. If you don't recall me running for King, I announced so in September of 2007. So, I had to head on to the convention.
{Cut to a stage in the middle of the athletic field with several greek columns and a podium and a crowd of twenty people.}
AIRSTAR:And on the last day of the Democratic Kingship Convention in FCUSA I gave my nomination acceptance speech to a crowd of twenties.
{Cut to Airstar at the podium.}
AIRSTAR:I can guarantee you, myself, and my running mate Mr. Bland will bring some things to the Gray Castle!
HOMESTAR:Woo!
MARZIPAN:Yay!
POM-POM:{Bubbles exictedly)
STRONG BADYeah!
THE CHUCK:Yay!
AIRSTAR:{Voiceover} I had picked a great running mate. Alot better then the King's choice. Champeen. She was a trainwreck. Anyway, after months of hard campaigning and grueling debates. November 4, 2008.
{Cut to Airstar, The Chuck,Schoolstar and Mr.Bland sitting around their TV in the living room with Flyer/Bland signs everywhere and a banner that says "CONGRATULATIONS KING-ELECT FLYER!"}
AIRSTAR:I hope we can use that banner!
ANNOUNCER:{On TV} We are still waiting for a few districts in concessionstantinople to report but let me give you an electoral update. The King/Champeen ticket is in a dead heat with the Flyer/Bland ticket. Both have 60 electoral votes with 70 to win. So, let's-i'm sorry, we have some news to report, Concessionstantinople is being called for The King of Town. {All four gain disouraged faces.}That gives the ticket a total of 70 electoral votes, meaning that the King of Town will serve a third term as the 43rd King of FCUSA.
AIRSTAR:ARRGRHHH!
SCHOOLSTAR:NOOOO!
MR BLAND:Ohhh...noo...
THE CHUCK:MERHHEHEHEEGH!!!
THE ANOUNCER:We also can now project that the 44th President of the United States will be Barack Obama.
ALL FOUR:{Loud cheering}
{Cut to the stage from earlier. Airstar walks out onto the stage and to the podium thirty-five people cheer loudly.}
AIRSTAR:Thank you, thank you. Tonight, we congratulate...the King of Town...urrghh...I can't do this...we're all screwed now!
{Loud cheering, cuts back to Airstar at desk with Cloudy}
AIRSTAR:And now, here we are. It's March 2009, and Airstar Emails is being continued. Now, we've had hiatuses, four to be exact, but this one was forced. But now that the brain-geniuses at the Fanstuff Wiki Purge thing are doing such a cracker-jack job I can't even remember what the number email I was at OR season. It's been seven freaking months and they still don't have it up?! What the crap is wrong with them?! I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE! But, hopefully all that hard work that MikeControl and 1-Up Cheatachu had done isn't lost forever, right? I mean, come on. Then all you would have is your memories. But anyway...we're back. With the same loathable characters. Hooray.
{The paper comes down}