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Revision as of 02:18, 8 December 2008

Broadcasting from the World Famous Apollo Theater,

GREEN GRASS AND HIGH TIDES FOREVER

EMERL: Gemerl, what's the meaning of life?

GEMERL: To die again.

EMERL: Naw, I did that a few hours ago.

IORI: {enters} I think the meaning of life is cheese! {gets a cheese wheel from hammerspace and eats it}

DALEK: The meaning of life is to get to the top. Let no one stop you. BECOME THE RULER OF THE UNIVERSE AND CRUSH ALL SUPPRESSORS WITH AN IRON FIST! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HA!!!!

{Everyone looks at him weirdly.}

DALEK: What?!

CD-I LUIGI: {enters} I think the meaning of life is lotsa spaghetti!

CYBERMAN: {Also enters} IT IS TO DELETE. DELETE!

DALEK: UP YOURS CYBERMAN! {Blasts him to oblivion.} He's my Highschool Rival.

IORI: I see.

JERAN: Naive biscuits. The meaning of life is 42.

IORI: No, it's 72!

EMERL: Get the thinking hat and some lemons!

GEMERL: Shut up.

{In the background, Dalek picks up the Cyberman corpse, and rips off the legs and his arms. He goes offscreen with them.}

SHANG TSUNG: {enters} I think the meaning of life is to steal every soul in the world.

{Everyone looks at him weirdly}

SHANG TSUNG: What? It's what I do.

{Dalek comes in, with the legs and the arms attached.}

DALEK: Oh yeah! I AM NOW A SEXY THING. {Starts dancing.}

JERAN: Oh. Just to let you guys know, do NOT step on the red tile over there. I know it looks shiny, but please.

{Cut to Emerl with the tile, and a bite has been taken out of it.}

EMERL: I found a hole under my new chocolate tile! {takes a bite}

DALEK: Well, on the bright side, he didn't step on it.

JERAN: Still it's a touch sensitive pad that opens up leading to-

{Emerl falls into a pit of rabid Metools/Mets/Metalls}

JERAN: ...rabid Mets.

DALEK: I'll help you. WITH MY ARMS!! {Reaches in, and grabs Emerl. He pulls him out.} I LOVE BEING LIKE YOU GUYS! Well, I do look silly now. Ah screw it. {Detaches the limbs off his body. Back to normal now.}

IORI: Why did you detach your limbs, Dalek?

DALEK: It made me look silly. They were quite useful... {Picks up arms, and starts installing it inside his system. He still looks normal.} Well... Now, I can use these arms when I want! {Arms come out.} See?

IORI: Cool!

RAIKU: Where am I? I am Raiku. Whats your guys names

EMERL: I'm Emerl.

GEMERL: I'm Gemerl.

RAIKU:Nice meeting you.

IORI: I'm Iori!

EMERL: Well, I have to check my mail. Petition, Y'know?

GEMERL: Oh, please. I don't trust you leading a petition more than I believe Opie here {Points to Iori} can go without Cheese.

RAIKU: Who are they? {points to everyone else.}

IORI: {to Gemerl} Why'd you call me Opie?

RAIKU: Whos the green and red dudes?

GEMERL: Because you're almost as stupid as this nutcase. {points to Emerl} I mean, he ate a trapdoor!

RAIKU: Hey red guy and green guy. Whats your names?

CD-I LUIGI: We're the CD-I Mario Bros.!

GEMERL: Oh right, I'd almost forgotten you were alive.

{Gemerl pulls out a spear and shoves it through them.}

GEMERL: Too bad I don't like that.

RAIKU: No Violence! This story dosent need violence

IORI: Raiku's right! You don't need to kill them!

GEMERL: We're a web-series held together by crude humor, pointless character death, constant-

EMERL: {FOURTH WALL BREAKAGE!!!}

GEMERL: And un-wanted/socially awkward situations. Of course death is needed here.

PATRICK: What did I say about killing them, Gemerl?!?

GEMERL: You said I could because I'm super awesome.

RAIKU: our webseries dosent need that.

EMERL: Oh yes it does. Every web-series does.

PATRICK: He's actually right.

GEMERL: That's Why I should be able to kill them when, where, and how ever I want.

PATRICK: If you kill them, we won't be able to befriend them more, so that's why I don't want you to do that.

GEMERL: But we're two different people. You can be nice to them, and I can maim, burn, impale, crush, blast, incinerate, shoot,

{1/2 hour later...}

GEMERL: And dance on their corpses. Besides, It's not like they don't come back to life. This isn't real, and they always seem to have 99 lives.

PATRICK: Can you just please not kill them anymore? I said that I'll remove you if you don't stop.

DALEK: I wonder what happens to removed people...

RAIKU: Hi im Raiku whats your name?

GEMERL: Fine. But what am I supposed to do to replace killing?

{OOC: That should be a take-off to the bet.}

DALEK: I'm Dalek D. Dalekton from the Dalek family. I am a member of an alien species called the Daleks. My gender is Dalek, and my favourite movie is Dalek.

RAIKU: Never seen it.

GEMERL: Hm... Dalek, Wanna bet?

DALEK: Bet on what? I've got 2 grand on me. I like carrying large sums of money with me.

GEMERL: I bet that in...38 second, Emerl will've destroyed CD-I Link's Castle. You in?

PATRICK: Hey! I'll remove Emerl too!

DALEK: Oh come on!

GEMERL: We're just playing! It's not like this could grow into a big problem.

DALEK: I've already killed like... 46 people before I got here.

GEMERL: Hell, I drove over every moving thing this morning.

PATRICK: Meh, they'll just ressurect right after they got killed.

DALEK: Except for Basil Fawlty. Trust me. He's immortal. I tried 100 different things to kill him. All he did was the funny walk.

{OOC: Basil is only in my Youtube Poops unfortunately.}

IORI: The funny walk?

EMERL: That sounds hilarious.

DALEK: It was. Too hilarious. {Gets out a portable dvd player, and shows them the funny walk. It is like the silly walk. On further investigation, Basil Fawlty is in fact, John Cleese. Everyone starts laughing.} HAHAHAHA!! SEE!!

EMERL: I'm not laughing that joke sucked.

DALEK: It's not the joke. The attack sends out a burst of laughing beams. It only works on Organics though. That is why you probably aren't affected.

EMERL: But we're all drawings.

DALEK: You are. I am Live Action. The only good Dalek is a real one.

IORI: Live action, eh?

DALEK: Hell yeah.

IORI: What's "Hell"?

DALEK: The place where I sent Tom Cruise this morning.

PATRICK: Owned!

DALEK: Yes. He doesn't deserve to live.

{OOC: You can guess I hate him, can't you?}

{OOC: Yes. I think.}'

IORI: Why doesn't he deserve to live?

DALEK: Personal Reasons.

PATRICK: Okay... Can we just get to the plot already?!?!?

DALEK: Fine, Fine...

RAIKU: What should we do?

PATRICK: We already have the plot planned.

RAIKU: Am i a part of it?

PATRICK: ... Hey, Iori!

IORI: Yes?

PATRICK: You sure do eat alot of damn cheese. I bet $50 that you can't go the rest of the day without eating cheese.

IORI: What? That'll be the easiest $50 I'll ever make. I accept your weak challenge!

10 minutes later...

IORI: {Iori's talking on the phone} Hello? Mental Health Institution? I haven't eaten any cheese in 10 minutes and I think I'm going to explode! Hello? Hello?!? Crap, they hung up!

DALEK: Why do you even like Cheese? It's horrendous! It's disgusting! The taste, the texture... gross...

IORI: You don't like cheese? Are you crazy?

DALEK: Hell no!

IORI: What's Hell?

DALEK: This. {Opens up the top of his head and shows it to Iori.} That is Hell. I am.

IORI: Hi, Hell!

PATRICK: Iori! How's the bet going?

IORI: I think it's going pretty good.

SMWC LUIGI: He just called the Mental Health Institution!

PATRICK: So I take that it's not going good at all?

IORI: What do you mean "not going good"? It's going terri- No, I'm lying.

EMERL: Oh, boy! I can use this for my new job as reporter/anchor of the news station!

GEMERL: They gave YOU!?! the job?

EMERL: They gave me almost the entire station! Chaos said he'd be the weatherman, and we cut sportscasting out because NOBODY LIKES SPORTS.

{A small girl walks onscreen.}

SMALL GIRL: I like sports.

EMERL: Then you, little lady, are AN ABOMINATION FROM GOD!

{A giant boulder crushes the small girl.}

EMERL: I'll always love that.

DALEK: You know you crushed the Midget Tennis Champion?

EMERL: Tennis isn't real. It's all staged.

DALEK: Most things are. Except for Deathball. Good times.

EMERL: So it doesn't matter.

DALEK: I didn't say it did.

EMERL: Well, we can all get over it, I'm sure.

DALEK: Already have. Death doesn't bother me at all.

PATRICK: How is tennis staged?!?!?

EMERL: It's almost all women, and they always win. Women can't be good at spor.ts.

IORI: Can somebody please give me a cheese wheel?

PATRICK: No. 10 minutes left.

DALEK: I still can't stand Cheese. The tangy taste, the smooth texture, and dairyness... Gross.

GEMERL: Why don't you extend the time?

PATRICK: Yeah-noooooooooooooo.

RAYDEN: {from sky} RIP-OFF!

PATRICK: Shut up, Rayden!

DALEK: Anyone want to hear some music? I installed an iPod inside me now.

PATRICK: Ok... What music is it?

EMERL: Don't do it!

GEMERL: It's only LazyTown tracks!

DALEK: Up yours Robot Twins. {Plays a song. It's Bohemian Rhapsody.}

IORI: How many more minutes, Pat?

PATRICK: Nine minutes.

IORI: D'oh! Only 1 minute just passed?!?

PATRICK: Correct.

IORI: This is going to take forever!

EMERL: We can slow down all the clocks on the earth, and then Iori would be waiting FOREVER!

PATRICK: No. That would break the bet rules!

EMERL: Then change them.

PATRICK: Too late!

DALEK: What do you mean... too late?

PATRICK: Too late to change the rules.

DALEK: Oh. My mistake... sorry. {Pulls out some cheese, and eats it.} Not that bad...

EMERL: Don't be such a goody two-shoes!

CHAOS: Or else the show will get lamer than JCMovies.

{...}

CHAOS: That wasn't my line, was it?

PATRICK: I thought this was all improvised.

DALEK: Not be a goody twoshoes? Alright. Zelda!

{CD-i Zelda comes in.}

DALEK: Come gimmie some! {Charges towards her offscreen.} Oh yeah!

CHAOS: Uh...that's about an eight on the Creepy Scale. And the Scale only goes up to eight.

{Emerl pops up in from of Chaos}

EMERL: And that's what would happen if the show were improvised.

PATRICK: The show is improvised.

EMERL: You're never supposed to let Chaos do improv. He's just so unoriginal he needs people to write his lines for him.

GEMERL: You semm smarter than usual.

EMERL: I may have nibbled at the Chaos Emerald a little. But now that Chaos knows, I'm sure he'll try to write it out.

CHAOS: Write what out?

EMERL: You can't be in the semi-cut away sequence! You're in the background!

CHAOS: Is it an absurdity, or is it...{FOURTH WALL BREAKAGE!!!}

EMERL: See? This is why we can't have nice ratings.

PATRICK: We do have nice ratings. I mean, we won the friggin' Fanstuff of the Fortnight! We have to have good ratings by now!

DALEK: No Emerl, you can't become smart! Then we'd have no idiot.

IORI: Except me!

DALEK: Oh please. Compared to Emerl, you're Einstein! Seriously. You aren't an idiot. You're just an oaf.

IORI: I'm both of those.

EMERL: If it makes you feel better I have terrible abdominal pains from eating a hunk of rock...

CHAOS: Seriously, where are we? What are we doing? What's up?

GEMERL: Gas him!

{Gemerl puts on a Gas Mask and shoots tear gas at Chaos.}

DALEK: Let me fix the stomach ache. {A large boxing glove spouts out of Daleks' chest, and punches Emerl, knocking the emerald out.} Better now?

IORI: Chaos Emeralds are lame.

GEMERL: Perhaps if you needed them to have a basic foundation of human life you'd understand why they're so precious to me and Emerl.

DALEK: I heard they're a great source of power. Let me have some. {Has some Chaos Emerald. His armour develops into something more powerful with more weapons. A version of the Doctor Who theme plays.} Whoa.

IORI: They're just so precious to you two because you are Sonic characters.

DALEK: Who knew it affected Doctor Who characters? OH GOD. WE MUST KEEP THIS AWAY FROM THE DOCTOR!

IORI: Yeah, you do that.

{Gemerl is stamping cheese into the ground.}

GEMERL: I'm sorry, were you talking to us?

IORI: I forgot...

EMERL: ...Why would you eat raw cheese anyways?

IORI: What's raw?

DALEK: Uncooked. Say, do you have anything inside that head of yours?

IORI: Umm... A skull, probably some muscles, and a brain.

PATRICK: Or lack-there-of.

IORI: Hey!

DALEK: Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after a voyage.

IORI: ...What?

PATRICK: What does that mean?

DALEK: Thou fawning dizzy-eyed jolt-head.

IORI: What?

DALEK: Most shallow man! Thou worms-meat in respect of a good piece of flesh indeed!

IORI: Stop talking like Shakespear!

PATRICK: I think you spelled that wrong.

IORI: I did?

PATRICK: I don't know.

DALEK: You did thou simpleton! A PLAGUE! A PLAGUE ON ALL YOUR HOUSES!!

GEMERL: Now you're just confusing him with John McCain.

EMERL: It's a shame John McCain didn't win. Obama will drive our already plummeting economy into the ground, and when we're a third-world country, we'll be attacked by every country that we ever attacked, and we won't be accepted into heaven because we were all supremely racist in the end.

GEMERL: ...We're going to hell for that.

CHAOS: How can you like McCain even though your writer is a democrat?

EMERL: ...{FOURTH WALL BREAKAGE!!!}

CHAOS: AHA! YOUR SMARTNESS SHIELD IS DOWN!

{Chaos bashes Emerl's head in with a hammer, and the Chaos Emerald flies out. A parrot flies by and picks it up.}

EMERL: Curse you, you God-Damned bird!!!!!

GEMERL: I'd love to say "problem solved", but I feel too much sadness inside this joy.

PATRICK: Quit talking about the president stuff! Nobody cares! Nobody cares about chaos emeralds either, so shut up! Shut up I say!

{Gemerl pulls out a building and crushes Patrick.}

CHAOS: Way to stereotype there, Gemerl!

PATRICK: Ugh... I swear, I'll remove you, Gemerl. ...What stereotype?

CHAOS: Well, he always does this. He's not dynamic enough.

PATRICK: He always does this? This is the first episode he did that in!