Bigfoot vs. Gravedigger
From Wkukpedia
Bigfoot vs. Gravedigger is a sketch from the Whitest Kids U'Know.
Contents |
Characters
- Sam Brown as Bruce "Bigfoot" Collins (introduced as Bob, Bruce on gravestone)
- Trevor Moore as "Gravedigger"
- Zach Cregger as Charlotte Collins
- Timmy Williams as Barbara
- Darren Trumeter and others as partygoers
Transcript
(Charlotte and Bigfoot are at Barbara's party.)
Barbara : Hey, Charlotte!
Charlotte : Hey! I love your party, everyone is SO trendy!
Barbara : I know, thank you!
Charlotte : Yeah, and I love how you have that Asian guy here.
Barbara : I know, isn't he great? I found him at a record store.
Charlotte : Score!
Barbara : Yeah!
Charlotte : And your apartment is like, oh my god -- BEAUTIFUL!
Barbara : Thank you, my grandmother designed it! (sounds a lot like "dies", but it also sounds like he meant to say "designed it", which would make more sense...)
Charlotte : Score!
Barbara : Yeah! (turns attention to Bob "Bigfoot") And this must be the new beau, huh?
Charlotte : Yeah, Barbara, I'd like to introduce you to : Bob.
(Bob and Barbara shake hands)
Charlotte : ... or as you might know him, "Bigfoot".
Barbara : Oh! You're that famous monster truck driver I've heard so much about! Pleasure to meet you.
Bob : Heh, nice to meet you.
Barbara : Well, nice date, Charlotte, it looks like you've got quite the catch.
Bob : It's clear here that I have the catch -- I mean, they don't make 'em like Charlotte anymore. I'm just glad that this little lady took a liking to me.
Barbara : Oh, you are so cute! Dump her and marry me! Dump her and marry me! You should dump her and then you should marry me.
Bob : Heh, Charlotte...
Charlotte : Bob and I are going down next weekend to --
Charlotte/Bob : FLORIDA!
Barbara : Oh my god, that is so exciting!
Bob : Yeah, I thought we'd go down to one of those beach resorts and, you know, spend some time on the -- OH MY GOD.
(turntable screeches and music stops)
Barbara : What?
Charlotte : What is it, baby?
Bob : OH MY GOD. It's Gravedigger.
(we see Gravedigger standing, arms folded, next to Darren and the Asian guy.)
Barbara : What's Gravedigger?
Charlotte : Gravedigger's the rival monster truck driver!
Barbara : I have two monster truck drivers at my party? Trendy!
Charlotte : No, it's not like that! Bigfoot and Gravedigger are sworn enemies!
Gravedigger : Hello, Bigfoot!
Bigfoot : Gravedigger! What are you doing here?
Gravedigger : Oh, I heard there was a monster party so I thought I'd truck on by...
Bigfoot : Should've known you'd be here when I saw your Gravedigger monster truck in the driveway. There's not room for both of us at this party.
Gravedigger : For once, Bigfoot -- I AGREE WITH YOU.
Charlotte : Come on, Bob, let's go! We'll just get in your monster truck and we'll leave.
Bob : Buckle up, Charlotte!
Gravedigger : Better listen to the woman, Bigfoot! As for me, I think I'm going to walk over to the other side of the room and try some of that delicious punch.
(pushes over Asian guy and Darren, then starts breaking bottles/glasses, and tips over a table. He then begins to stomp over towards the punch, but not before stepping on a chair and throwing it off to the side. He finally takes a glass of punch and takes a sip. The other people in the room are shocked.)
Gravedigger : Oh, that is some delicious punch!
(Gravedigger then immediately steps on and breaks the table with the punch on it.)
Gravedigger : Oh, mercy me! It seems that I've left quite a wake of carnage and destruction in my path. Sorry!
Bigfoot : It's okay! It's just a little mess! (turns attention to a bookshelf on the opposite side of the room) Oh, look, a bookshelf!
Barbara : What?
Bigfoot : I wonder if they have that book I read?!
Charlotte : No, Bob, please!
Bob : AAAAAH!
(He stomps down on a table with popcorn on it and pulls down streamers, then steps on a chair, pushes over two people, and steps on another table, then stops at the bookshelf. The partygoers are even more shocked.)
Bob : (looks through books) Curious... curious... curious... nope! Don't got it!
Barbara : You stepped on my Asian!
Bob : (walks back over next to Charlotte and Barbara) Oh, look at this. It looks like I left a battlefield of mangled metal and flesh in my way! (puts arms around Charlotte and Barbara's necks)
Gravedigger : (throws glass of punch down on the floor) Not bad, not bad. But I'm getting an URGE! An urge to jump that bookshelf over there!
(Barbara and Charlotte start shouting "No!", "My books!", etc.)
Gravedigger : A nine-foot vertical jump! SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY! GRAVEDIGGER!
(Gravedigger runs and jumps on the bookshelf, breaking it, and toppling over with it. He then emerges out from the bookshelf. Bigfoot pushes over Charlotte and Barbara, then walks over to Gravedigger.)
Bigfoot : Impressive. But I too am getting an urge! An urge to jump out that plate-glass high-rise window! Five stories in the air!
Charlotte : (The people around her are extremely shocked and frightened.) No, Bob, you'll die!
Gravedigger : (Even Gravedigger is worried.) Uh, yeah, Bigfoot, I think you actually better listen to the woman this time.
Bigfoot : (Starts jogging in place) I'm getting READY!
Gravedigger : Uh, Bigfoot, don't! You win! You win!
Bigfoot : BIGFOOOTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(everyone yells out "NO!!!!" as Bigfoot runs and jumps out the window. It then immediatly cuts to an animated shot of a gravestone in a sunny green field with "R.I.P. Bruce "Bigfoot" Collins 1975-2006".)
Memorable Quotes
- Barbara : "You stepped on my Asian!"
-
- Bigfoot : "Oh, look at this! It looks like I left a battlefield of mangled metal and flesh in my way!"
-
- Gravedigger : "A nine-foot vertical jump! SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY! GRAVEDIGGER!"
-
- Barbara : "Thank you, my grandmother died!"
-
- Gravedigger : "Mercy me, seems that I've left quite a wake of carnage and destruction in my path. Sorry."
-
- Barbara : "Dump her. You should dump her and marry me!"
-
- Bigfoot : "Oh, look, a bookshelf! I wonder if they have that book I read?"
-
- Charlotte : "What is it, baby?"
-
Trivia
- Trevor really did hurt himself during the bookshelf jump.
- The sketch was shot at a studio at FUSE, and everything was made of break-away material. Because of this, the cast had to nail everything in one take.
- "Bigfoot" is introduced as Bob, however, on his gravestone, his name is "Bruce".
