User:Another n00b

From Wiki42

> You(25)attack IPoopMyPantsOnWensdays(25) with '''Uber Nunchucks'''.
> IPoopMyPantsOnWensdays(25) is now dead.
Look (!)
> You examine the trolls as they advance towards you and proceed to strip bear the corpse before you can. And then they come after you.
> You scream for 18 hours.
 > ***You have died***
>All your items have been dropped where you died. This means they'll be raided by hungry noobs!
Restart (4) 

An wiiro

This news report was originally published in the daily Telegraph. It was later published in the form of a news-style copypasta on the CN9 bulliten board system. The transcript read:

Jake Roberts, 13, stormed upstairs and fastened the tie around his neck and then to his bed. He was found by his father a short while later. His parents said he could have got the idea by watching a young person hanging themselves on the television programme Casualty. But a coroner said that Jake had killed himself by accident and there was no evidence he has been influenced by the programme.
His mother, Andrea, said they had given Jake some money for his birthday with which he had bought a new computer game. But when he got home with it his sister was watching television and he could not play it. She said he "had a temper tantrum and stormed off upstairs". Soon after, his father, John, went up to see him. He said: "The first thing I saw when I walked in to Jake's bedroom was all the paper he had ripped up on the floor during his tantrum.

"The door was open with his bed to my left behind the door. I was going to tell him off when I turned. It took me a few seconds to register what I was seeing. "His school tie was round his neck and he was hung from his cabin bed. I tried to lift him and his tie was attached to a bar on the bed." Jake, who died in February, was described as a "sensitive boy with a fantastic imagination" who enjoyed writing stories and poems, one of which had been published. An inquest heard that Jake died two days after being rushed to hospital from his home in Scarborough, North Yorks. Mr Roberts, a printer, said: "I honestly don't think he meant to hang himself. I think he was mad about the computer game and just did something stupid." 

Mrs Roberts, a bank clerk, added that the family had watched an episode of the BBC drama Casualty together weeks before, which had featured a young person hanging themselves. She said she had been "really shocked" that it had been broadcast at 8pm, but added: "But I don't think anything he had seen influenced him. When he was younger he had a bit of a temper and he'd had tantrums with us before." Recording a verdict of accidental death, the Coroner, Michael Oakley, said: "There is no evidence whatsoever that he took things he had seen into account. "He didn't have any particular temper tantrums other than those you would expect from someone who had just become a teenager."

"There had been a minor argument. The circumstances in which he was found do not suggest to me this was a deliberate act to end his life."
In a statement after the verdict, Mr and Mrs Roberts, said: "Jake was a kind, caring and sensitive boy who had a wonderfully dry sense of humour and huge potential for the future.

"He had a special and unique talent for writing stories which stemmed from a fantastic imagination.

"We love him so very much and miss him more and more with each passing day, and are still struggling to come to terms with his loss."

UK News »