User:Another n00b
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== Other crap == | == Other crap == | ||
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Revision as of 19:04, 10 July 2011
> You(25)attack IPoopMyPantsOnWensdays(25) with '''Uber Nunchucks'''. > IPoopMyPantsOnWensdays(25) is now dead. Look (!) > You examine the trolls as they advance towards you and proceed to strip bear the corpse before you can. And then they come after you. > You scream for 18 hours. > ***You have died*** >All your items have been dropped where you died. This means they'll be raided by hungry noobs! Restart (4)
Contents |
An wiiro
This news report was originally published in the daily Telegraph. It was later published in the form of a news-style copypasta on the CN9 bulliten board system. The transcript read:
Jake Roberts, 13, stormed upstairs and fastened the tie around his neck and then to his bed. He was found by his father a short while later. His parents said he could have got the idea by watching a young person hanging themselves on the television programme Casualty. But a coroner said that Jake had killed himself by accident and there was no evidence he has been influenced by the programme. His mother, Andrea, said they had given Jake some money for his birthday with which he had bought a new computer game. But when he got home with it his sister was watching television and he could not play it. She said he "had a temper tantrum and stormed off upstairs". Soon after, his father, John, went up to see him. He said: "The first thing I saw when I walked in to Jake's bedroom was all the paper he had ripped up on the floor during his tantrum. "The door was open with his bed to my left behind the door. I was going to tell him off when I turned. It took me a few seconds to register what I was seeing. "His school tie was round his neck and he was hung from his cabin bed. I tried to lift him and his tie was attached to a bar on the bed." Jake, who died in February, was described as a "sensitive boy with a fantastic imagination" who enjoyed writing stories and poems, one of which had been published. An inquest heard that Jake died two days after being rushed to hospital from his home in Scarborough, North Yorks. Mr Roberts, a printer, said: "I honestly don't think he meant to hang himself. I think he was mad about the computer game and just did something stupid." Mrs Roberts, a bank clerk, added that the family had watched an episode of the BBC drama Casualty together weeks before, which had featured a young person hanging themselves. She said she had been "really shocked" that it had been broadcast at 8pm, but added: "But I don't think anything he had seen influenced him. When he was younger he had a bit of a temper and he'd had tantrums with us before." Recording a verdict of accidental death, the Coroner, Michael Oakley, said: "There is no evidence whatsoever that he took things he had seen into account. "He didn't have any particular temper tantrums other than those you would expect from someone who had just become a teenager." "There had been a minor argument. The circumstances in which he was found do not suggest to me this was a deliberate act to end his life." In a statement after the verdict, Mr and Mrs Roberts, said: "Jake was a kind, caring and sensitive boy who had a wonderfully dry sense of humour and huge potential for the future. "He had a special and unique talent for writing stories which stemmed from a fantastic imagination. "We love him so very much and miss him more and more with each passing day, and are still struggling to come to terms with his loss." UK News »
The Licked Hand
A beautiful young girl is left home alone with only her dog to protect her. On the news that night, they announced there is a serial killer on the loose in the area. Before she goes to bed, she locks all the doors and tries to lock all the windows, but the one in the basement won't lock. She decides to leave it unlocked, but locks the basement door and goes to bed. Her dog takes its customary place under her bed.
In the deep of night she awakens to a dripping sound coming from her bathroom. Half-awake, the girl feels the comforting lick from her dog and falls back to sleep. She reawakens to the dripping sound, reaches her hand down to the dog where she feels the reassuring lick and falls back to sleep. Once more, she awakens to the dripping sound. She reaches her hand down and feels the lick of her dog.
Now curious about the dripping sound, she gets up and slowly walks towards the bathroom, the dripping sound getting louder as she approaches. She reaches the bathroom and turns on the light. She is greeted by a horrific sight; hanging from the shower nozzle is her dog with its throat slit open and its blood dripping into the bathtub.
Something on the bathroom mirror catches her eye; she turns around. Written on the wall in her dog's blood are the words "Humans can lick too."
Variations
- In one version the message reads "THE JERSEY DEVIL CAN LICK HANDS TOO" and it is the Jersey Devil that kills the dog.
- A similar alteration includes a girl who walks to the faucet each time to try and shut it off, not bothering to turn on the lights (or caused by a power outage). She pats her dog on the head each time she walks to the bathroom, but in the morning finds her dogs head on the sink dripping. The person telling the story then asks "whose head was she patting?"
- In some versions, the woman is in her 20s while in others she is elderly. The dog is sometimes discovered skinned and in others, beheaded. The location of the dog's body is sometimes in the girl's closet, fridge, or behind her couch or even above the kitchen door.
- The dripping sound always awakens the girl. This is always followed by the discovery the next morning that the dripping sound was not a leaky faucet but the dog's dripping blood.
- In lighter versions, the dog is not killed but locked in the basement. In darker versions, the girl's parents are murdered or the girl herself is killed.
- In other versions the girl has a roommate who is killed instead, and the dog is later found by the police hiding under the couch in the downstairs living room, dorm, or hallway.
- Other versions of the story include her going downstairs to call the police, and when they arrive she finds the dog dead, and the officer states the "Humans can lick too" phrase.
- Another version has the girl as a young child who often has nightmares. The girl's mother gets the dog for her and he licks her hand every night which stops the nightmare. One night she is woken by a nightmare but feels the lick and goes back to sleep only to wake up the next morning to find her mother and the dog dead with the message daubed on the wall.
- Some versions of the story end with the girl looking out the window and seeing the murderer (who has quite a frightening face) who then yells "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO!" sometimes waving his fist, also in those versions some don't say whether the dog is killed or not.
- In some versions of the story, the message reads "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO, MY DEAR" making the killer seem even creepier.
- The killer is described as a serial killing clown in many versions, with the message reading "CLOWNS CAN LICK TOO".
- In some versions the basic premise of the story is the same, but rather than "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO" the phrase "AREN'T YOU GLAD YOU DIDN'T TURN ON THE LIGHTS?" is written on the wall in the dog's blood.
- In another version, it's an old lady but the dog is not killed, and in the end she sees her dog sitting near the door wagging its tail, but something or someone is still licking her hand.
Other crap
esjgf consip
