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Hippos are clever animals just like you or I or you. They are inquisitive, intelligent, smart, clever, polite, inquisitive, and kind. They don't breathe, eat, sleep, poo, or even breathe, but when it comes to natural things there is one things that hippos are very good at - sex!

[edit] Hippo Sex

Hippos have sex only about 536,000,000,000 times a day, a small amount for such human-like creatures. Hippo's peni (peni [pee-niy] is the plural of penis) are only about 1,500 - 2,000 miles long. I know what you're thinking, 'How do hippo's manage with such small horizontal attachments? Isn't it too small to shove up a hippo's vagina?'. Well don't worry, because hippos have adapted to tiny peni. The peni do not get inserted into vaginas, they get inserted into ears. The equivalent of a human being raped in the ear see: Raped in the ear.

[edit] The sperm's journey

Hippos store there sperm in the form of golden syrup. When hippos' peni get inserted into ears, the GSS (Golden Syrup Sperm) goes down the ear, and into the ear drum. A hippo's ear drum gets very hot when it comes in contact with this GSS, and it acts like an oven. The GSS gets heated so much, that it turns into a cake. The cake is eaten by microscopic creatures that live inside hippos called 'Buggers' or 'Bugs' for short. Once they have consumed the delicious cake, they fly to the eggs in the female hippo, and regurgitate the cake, which fertilises the egg.

[edit] Conclusion

Never again shall you look at a hippo and think that they are just a dumb animal. They are just as human as you, I, or even you. But beware: next time you see a hippo on top of another hippo, they are probably not playing, they are probably shagging.