Stairway To Heaven

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TAKE COVER!!!

THIS IS THE DEFENITION OF SHIT!!!11!1!! ~Penguin on Stairway To Heaven

Stairway to Heaven is a phenomolaly good song by Led Zeppelin. Written in 1971 by the amazing rock band, it has since become a staple at rock music stations.

Red Alert - Major Penguin attack on strategic or densely populated locations is either imminent or underway, and Superman is on his lunch break

You have an 80% chance of death TAKE COVER!!

Origins

The song is thought to have orginated when a guitarist, one Mr. Jimi Page Esq., had a sister who was denied nothing. She was, as legend tells us, completely spoilt to the point of mania, so much so that for her, everything that glittered appeared to be of a gold appearance, owing to the inherently dualistic nature of the meanings of words. At one point, her lust for material possessions drove her to attempt to buy a stairway to heaven, having been following a piper who is predicted to lead "us" to what Page describes as "reason". On her journey, she was pointed out bustles of various shapes and sizes in the hedgerows surrounding Hackney, and its brook with a tree alongside it through which rings of smoke rose and, in which a songbird sang. These she also desired, but she could not find any of these spare; they turned out to be in service to a minor royal, the May Queen as part of her cleaning staff, newly expanded for the spring. After taking a fork in the road, in which two paths were found, both of which in fact led to this vendor of stairways, her journey was at an end. This journey, however was fruitless, as she could not buy one of these Stairways, as they were found to be a rock, which lay on the whispering wind, but to contain no roll.

Allegations of subliminal messages

tHere Are no sublIminaL messgaes WHatsoever In this sliCK song. NONE WHATSOEVER!

Penguin Section

This section may only be edited by Penguin, anyone else editing it will be banned for 2 days

\\ RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGH JIMI PAGE IF YO WERENT DEAD YOUD BE DEAD BY NOW AND IF HIS SISTER ISNT DEAD ID RAPE HER AND STEAL ALL HER GOODIES ALSO IM GOING TO KILL THE GUITARIST (AGAIN) FOR GAYNESS WHILST PLAYING A SOLO IM GOING TO KILL THE WHOLE BAND FOR IT BEING SO LONG AND STAB THE COMPOSERS 7 TIMES ALSO CUT OFF ALL THEIR TESTICLES AND MAKE THEM EAT THEM THEN I WILL SATB JAMES FOR INFLICTING THIS ON ME AND YES THIS IS ALL ONE LONG SENTENCE SO YES IT JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE COHERENT SO TAKE THAT BITCH MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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Black Alert - A series of major Penguin attacks, utilising Weapons of Mass Destruction has been launched on major articles of extreme strategic importance. The only people left alive are governmental workers, and/or admin

Either you are dead, you will die, or life will not be worth living, and you will commit suicide Don't bother taking cover. There will be nothing to live for.