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How to put up ikea items
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Bobofthedead (Talk | contribs) (Grammartized it, and put in some new bits. It's a good start.) |
Bobofthedead (Talk | contribs) m (Reverted edit of Penguin, changed back to last version by Bobofthedead) |
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# Screw it and give up. | # Screw it and give up. | ||
# Come back in half an hour, after a hot cup of tea/whisky. | # Come back in half an hour, after a hot cup of tea/whisky. | ||
| - | # Put the dinky metal pieces in the | + | # Put the dinky metal pieces in the poorly drilled holes. |
# Rest shelves on them and give a good hard wallop (for good measure, hit person no. 2/3's thumb/protruding appendages). | # Rest shelves on them and give a good hard wallop (for good measure, hit person no. 2/3's thumb/protruding appendages). | ||
# Throw spare items in the loft. | # Throw spare items in the loft. | ||
| - | # Step on person | + | # Step on person 3's feet in the process. |
# Put books on shelf. | # Put books on shelf. | ||
# Never read them again. Ever. | # Never read them again. Ever. | ||
Et voilà! Now crack open the champagne, and celebrate! | Et voilà! Now crack open the champagne, and celebrate! | ||
Current revision as of 22:59, 3 January 2008
How to put up an IKEA "Billy" bookcase:
- Take protective wrapping off (this is a very common mistake).
- Kick it to show it who's boss.
- Throw instruction manual in bin and log onto this site.
- Stand the side pieces upright against a wall.
- Failing that get someone else to hold them up for you.
- Get pissed off and kick the idiotic person helping you for not holding it straight.
- Put the metal cross piece on the back with the help of person no. 3.
- Screw it and give up.
- Come back in half an hour, after a hot cup of tea/whisky.
- Put the dinky metal pieces in the poorly drilled holes.
- Rest shelves on them and give a good hard wallop (for good measure, hit person no. 2/3's thumb/protruding appendages).
- Throw spare items in the loft.
- Step on person 3's feet in the process.
- Put books on shelf.
- Never read them again. Ever.
Et voilà! Now crack open the champagne, and celebrate!
