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Yoshi's Island Scandal
From Unmariowiki
The Yoshi's Island Scandal is a notorious event involving Yoshi, Tumble, and 50,000 tons of cheese. Some have stated that the Yoshi's Island Scandal was the cause for the downfall of Yoshi's life.
Contents |
History
The Magician's Nephew
Contrary to popular belief, the Yoshi's Island Scandal did not begin on Yoshi's Island, but rather had its earliest starts in Toad Town. On the morning of April 1, 1678, a seemingly harmless newspaper article was printed in the Toad Town Times stating that the humans of the Real World were without cheese and starving. Eventually, Tumble stumbled upon this article, and immediately felt sorrow for the poor humans. (Tumble's parents were human, therefore, Tumble had a soft spot for humans.) Upon reading this article, Tumble decided to convince his easily manipulated friend Yoshi into helping the humans.
All Your Face are Belong to Us
Yoshi was currently living a happy life on Yoshi's Island with a wife, a young child, and a beloved pet. He worked as Mario's accountant in the Mushroom Kingdom, which was were he was when Tumble arrived. It is stated that Tumble, using flowery words and spaghetti-based bribery, easily tricked Yoshi into helping out with the problem.
'Til Death Do Us Part
Tumble and (mostly) Yoshi knew that they form a plan, so they soon kidnapped Roanld Mc' Donald, who they thought was "the last non-moron alive", to do so. Roanld's genius plan involved catching a plain at the 'Shroom Airport to deliver the cheese to the Real World, but it was soon discovered that the whole reason for the cheese loss on Earth was due to Bill Gates, the Real World's ruler, illegalizing cheese shipment to the planet. Due to his big mistake, Tumble (who later left Yoshi to join the Foreign Legion) decided that Mc' Donald should be ground up into 10,000 pounds of cheese to be used in the project. Yoshi later abducted Shigeru Miyamoto to be his partner in crime during the scandal.
This Episode Was Brought To You By the Random Number Sequence "398"
When Yoshi, along with Miyamoto, began their devious act, Pac-Man had already eaty 45 tons of the cheese. However, Yoshi, thinking fondly of his long-lost friend, Tumble, decided to go on with the mission anyway. Shiggy and Yoshi's first matter of business was to fit their cheese into the back of their minivan, which they did easily by whacking it rapidly with a pickle. They were soon cruisin' down towards the border, soon to go into the portal to the Real World.
DuckTales! Woohoo!
However, Miyamoto and Yoshi were stopped dead in their tracts by Napoleon Bonaparte, who demanded all of their cheese. Yoshi refused, though, and resisted their force, releasing the powerful phrase "Remember the Tumble!", in reference to his chickenoid friend. It was then though, that Bonaparte released his French Army with Tumble (newfound member of the Foreign Legion) in lead. Needless to say, heartbroken Yoshi lost the great battle that persisted, despite his courageous efforts to use Miyamoto as a meat shield against the French attacks. The French Police Force soon had him behind bars in the Bastille, a French jail building shaped like a coconut.
Aftermath
Nintendo Does What Sony'nt
Specifically, Yoshi was thrown in jail with the charges of speeding (because he was going 3.14 miles over the speed limit), attempted murder (he was seen almost eating a piece of cheese before the battle with Napoleon), bad cooking (he is known for making several attempts at frying Tumble, who tastes disgusting), and having a nose 22 square inches than is legal (obvious reasons). Yoshi lived a great life as dictator of the Bastille, but disappeared one day, leaving only a note saying "Silly Putty will be avenged". It is theorized by some that Yoshi escaped the jail and moved to Hyrule, where he became famous as "Gunpei Yokoi". This theory is rather sketchy, though, although a French officer admits succumbing to Yoshi's distracting him with a strip of bacon before the Great Escape. Recently, Yoshi has been reported to have beaten some sucker up for trying to ride him a a game. Yoshi then reportedly escaped with the Evil Guy to somewhere else, but this has not been confirmed.
Gyiyg Strikes Back!
The outcome of Earth was much happier. As it turns out, there was no cheese famine; it was all just a complex joke in the Toad Town Times. As such, no one really cares anymore, except for the dorks, nerds, and practicers of feudalism.
Play It LOUD!
Tumble also had a great outcome as leader of the Foreign Legion, Napoleon's best men. After a long, happy life of commanding the army, Tumble started a family with Peach, widow to Yoshi.
Trivia
- The Yoshi's Island Scandal is very similar to the Toad Revolt, although much more boring.
- Some have stated that Yoshi's minivan used in the scandal was a DeLorean, a type of time-traveling car built only by Bob The Builder.
- Interestingly, Boots is very similar to the Sonic series character Miles "Tails" Prower in that they are both the under-aged sidekicks of the series' main characters, they both have three strands of hair coming of off their foreheads, and they have both been known to take nightly baths in Jell-O.
Sources
- Wiggly Walrus Counts to Three, Adolph Hitler, 1492.
- Paper Jorge's site
