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From Unmariowiki

Revision as of 02:54, 25 March 2007

King Bowser Koopa is a horrible, evil genetic mutation gone wrong, set loose to invade the poor town of Tokyo. However, he got lost on the way there, and ended up in the Mushroom Kingdom where he survives on a regular diet of Toads, heroic plumbers, and the occasional appendage of one of his offspring.

Meanwhile, the casting directors had to find a replacement for him for their movie so they hired another horrible, evil genetic mutation gone wrong, named Godzilla, and paid him double. Bowser has reportedly filed a lawsuit against Godzilla, who proceeded to eat it.

It has been speculated that Bowser is actually Boswer and both were created by Evil Guy.

Bowser's Goals

Bowser's greatest goal is to kidnap Princess Peach, who happens to be his mother (see below). The reason for this is that Peach can make a to-die-for apple pie, but Bowser states that he's doing it to become king of the Mushroom Kingdom.

While Princess Peach isn't the hardest thing to have a forced marriage with, Bowser's plans are often foiled by the Mario Bros., two members of a rare variety of Turkish vultures who originated as cookies based on this type of bird. Due to the fact that the Mario Bros. often dump Bowser into the steaming hot milk that aligns his castle, Bowser's indirect goal is to remove the power from Mario and Luigi by taking its source: their almighty pickles. Bowser has often attempted at stealing these pickles, but only succeeded once: in an episode of The Super Mario Cookies Super Show!, Bowser stole Luigi's pickle, but left behind the pickle juice, leaving Bowser's stolen pickle to shrivel up into a cucumber before he could use it. In the meantime, Luigi made another pickle in the left-behind juice. (Although this situation seems to have left Bowser powerless, the upcoming Game Triangle game Bowser and the Magic Pickle seems to show him regenerating Luigi's cucumber/pickle and attempting to take over the world with his newfound powers.)

Bowser's Hobbies

In addition to ruthlessly controlling the malicious Koopa army and executing all who get in his way, Bowser enjoys playing with Tinker Toys, which he states to be "very fun, addictive, and educational for the growing toddler". He is also a big fan of the hit TV series Teletubbies; Bowser happens to be vice president of the Teletubbies Fan Club. (The president is Shigeru Miyamoto himself.)

Political Standing

Like other denizens of the Koopa Kingdom, Bowser cannot vote (nor does he have any political rights whatsoever), so he is completely lacking in preference of the United States' two political houses. He does, however, have significant political standing in that he is the ruler of the Koopa Kingdom, and also the self-proclaimed King of Cheese. His thirst for power (and apple pie) has also led him to attempt at becoming the king of the Mushroom Kingdom several times, although he has, for the most part, failed in doing so. He also rules the country of America thanks to a radio-controlled android of his known only as "George W. Bush", and he has a high rank in the country of France as the main sponsor of the Foreign Legion.

Bowser's Family

Bowser's biological father is Yoshi, his mother being Princess Peach. (It is unknown why Bowser enjoys tormenting Peach and hates Yoshi so much nowadays.) However, with the exception of a few appearances in Iron Chef and King Donkey, no one has seen Yoshi since the Yoshi's Island Scandal, although some have theorized that he is now Gunpei Yokoi of Hyrule; Yoshi's replacement in Bowser's childhood household was Tumble, a dice-headed, Toad-like human that Bowser loves very much. Bowser also has a sister from an alternate dimension; this sister (named "Cowser") is elaborated on below.

Currently, Bowser is father to seven kind young gentlemen as well as another darling little boy. Bowser is wed to the aptly-named Bowser's Wife, who has an undying hatred of him due to his childhood wish of marrying Princess Peach (which he, as stated above, has not given up on).

Luigi is also Bowser's uncle, as seen in the Mario Party 6 name "Green Bros." awarded to a team consisting of Luigi and Yoshi (Bowser's father). Strangely, though, Nintendo has officially announced that Mario is not Bowser's uncle along with his brother, as he was merely adopted by his mom.

Cowser

Main article: Cowser

In a bizzare event in episode 42 of The Adventures of Super Cookie Bros. 6 (3), Bowser found himself attempting to save Peach from an insane Mario. As he was about to send the finishing blow to Mario, the ridiculous unlikliness of the event opened a portal to an alternate dimension; out of this portal (which then closed) stepped a bovine-like, female version of Bowser. This creature, who claimed to be called "Cowser", soon identified itself as the sister of an otherworldly incarnation of Bowser. Bowser soon formed a bond with Cowser; however, Luigi had eaten most of Cowser's active body by the end of the episode. Cowser never appeared again, although she was given several references by utterings of Bowser in later episodes, and, despite her status as dead, she even wrote a letter to the Koopa King in the episode "Teenage Mutant Ninja Goombas Attack".

Cowser also appeared in the opening sequence of the NES version of Mario is Missing as a nameless agent of Bowser. This appearance, in which she said nothing, showed her to be almost bull-like (and therefore possibly male), although the character shown was clearly Cowser.