Dark Side

From Uncyclopedia 2

“Come to the dark side. We have cookies.”

~ {{#ifexist:Famous Sith Slogan|Famous Sith Slogan|Famous Sith Slogan}} {{#if:|on {{{3}}}}}

File:Darkside2-thumb.gif

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“Something Something Something Dark Side. Something Something Something complete!”

~ {{#ifexist:Emperor Palpatine|Emperor Palpatine|Emperor Palpatine}} {{#if:the Dark Side|on the Dark Side}}

A dark side of something is a side of that something where, by definition, it is dark. Dark sides can be created by putting a lamp near the desired light side and turning off all the other light. Usually, dark sides are accompanied by shadows, but in the case of the Earth, no shadow has been found yet.

A dark side is characterized by its power, which establishes itself in its full glory when the local power plant stops providing power for the corresponding light side. Ironically, even though constantly asked by various cliché'd evil overlords to do so, Luke Skywalker could never see the true power of the dark side. Actually, he could never see the dark side itself. Maybe you will be more successful, especially with night vision devices.

Religious significance

Dark sides are deities in the Sith religion, servants of the supreme deity of the Force (which they share with the Jedi). Therefore they are called "dark side of the Force" or "The Dark Side". The Sith mastered artificial creation of dark sides. The nobles, called the Lords, participate in contests of creating dark sides, and winners are called "Dark Lords".

However, the Jedi fear dark sides, as they believe that their affinity with the Force depends on the midi-chloroplasts and the Force itself consists of some mythical particles called photons. Since there are, as the Jedi claim, no photons on dark sides, they cannot use the Force, and without the Force, nobody will believe that they are messiahs possessing supernatural powers.

This strange belief, however, is mostly disregarded as typical religious crap.

If you listen to a dark side while watching The Wizard Of Oz, it syncs up. Evidently The Wall and Wish You Were Here do the same thing. the dark side is a path way many people are afraid of Hitler was on the dark side along with Bin Laden and Saddam. Hitler found the dark side under his bed stool when the moon wasn't shining and that's why Tolkien wrote 'three of a kind' in a hurry, before the forces of the dark side could turn Wagners 'Superman' into a car-commercial. But it was too late. The dark side is everywhere, just out of sight. The light will never shine upon it.

"On The Dark Side" is also a song by John Cafferty and The Beaver Brown Band. It sounded like Springsteen, but was actually supposed to have come from the '50s.

Reaching the dark side

Reaching the dark side, aka the not-light side, is the Zen monks' primary goal. They aim to do this by becoming one with the Fermi sea, replacing their bodies with antimatter equivalents. This requires a deep understanding of first Newtonian Physics, and then, building on that knowledge, origami. Despite popular belief, this process is not mediated by midichlorians, but rather relies on Feynman diagrams, carefully drawn in mouse blood (fresh or preserved, but not dehydrated), one soft boiled egg, and a 2x4(oak or pine).

A little known fact is that the National Electricity supplier of South Africa, Eskom, is actually controlled by the Sith Lord Palpatine and being used as we speak to help several cities achieve the Dark Side.da:Den mørke side it:Lato Oscuro