Homestar Fanfic 1

From Umcom

Marzipan is Missing by MikeControl2011

THE FOLLOWING TAKES PLACE ON MONDAY, MAY 30, 2011

(We start with Strong Bad, Bubs and Pom-Pom lighting up the grill in celebration of memorial day in the field.)

BUBS: Boy, am I glad Memorial Day is finally here.

STRONG BAD: Since when do people celebrate memorial day like Independence day?

BUBS: Since today. I mean, this is 'Merica after all.

STRONG BAD: I guess. This is Free Country USA, and we need to honor our fallen Troopers.

(The Homestarmy marches in.)

HOMESTAR: Yes, you need to honor us!

STRONG BAD: First of all, you guys aren't troops, and you also aren't dead. This is a holiday to honor dead troops, moron.

HOMESTAR: Oh. Well, Bennedetto died in action during the Battle of Strongbadia, and I think that's honorable.

STRONG BAD: Yes, everybody. We should all honor a freaking inanimate object.

HOMESTAR: So disrespectful.

STRONG BAD: Piss off, Homestar. We're busy honoring the dead's sacrifice by getting drunk. Toss me that Cold One, Bubsy.

(Bubs tosses it to him.)

STRONG BAD: Thank you very much. (Drinks.) Now turn up that radio.

(Bubs turns up the radio. The Emergency Broadcast System sound is playing.)

THE ANNOUNCER: Hello, we have interrupted our normal scheduled program at the request of the United States Government to enact the Emergency Broadcast System serving the FCUSA area. A National Emergency has been declared due to an apparent attack from the Iranian Military. They are currently planning to launch nuclear missiles at several key United States cities,

STRONG BAD: Holy s**t...

THE ANNOUNCER: Such as New York City, Los Angeles, Dallas, Seattle, Chicago and Atlanta.

(Collective gasps)

THE ANNOUNCER: If you are in the United States right now, regardless of whether you are near any of those cities, you should attain a portable radio or television or some other EBS capable device and go to a fallout shelter immedietely. Once again, for those just joining us, the Iranian military is prepared to launch several nuclear missiles at six major US Cities within the next hour or two, we recieved this information several minutes ago.

BUBS: Let's go to Strong Bad's basement!

STRONG BAD: Agreed!

(A siren begins to go off)

INTERCOM: ALL FCUSA RESIDENTS TAKE SHELTER IN STRONG BAD'S BASEMENT IMMEDIATELY DUE TO NUCLEAR THREAT POSED BY IRAN. ALL FCUSA RESIDENTS TAKE SHELTER IN STRONG BAD'S BASEMENT IMMEDIATELY.

(Cut to Strong Bad's basement. All modern-day characters are in there except Marzipan.)