Other Character Email Airstar Flyer/That boy needs therapy
From Umcom
{Airstar is at his computer. He clicks on the email icon.}
AIRSTAR:Click,click, CHECK!
YoYo Airstar,
1-Up Cheatachu
I command you to go to therapy.
You need it.
From,
Your All-Mighty Creator,
AIRSTAR:1-UP CHEATACHU?! HOLY CRAP! I haven't heard from you since email seven! Wow-ee. That's been a long while. But, why do you think I need therapy? I feel fine.
SCHOOLSTAR:{Offscreen} Oh really?
{He turns to him.}
AIRSTAR:Yeah really?
SCHOOLSTAR:Well, look at what's going on at the King Of Town's!
{Cut to a room in the KOT's castle. He's sitting down at a table with a buncha other Homestar characters,}
KING OF TOWN:Well, I don't think Dexter, I mean Airstar is really with it.
MARZIPAN:Why? Out of all things, this isn't the answer!
KING OF TOWN:By the opinion of the entire FCUSA government, we declare Airstar criminally insane.
{They all gasp and Marzipan passes out. Gavel hitting is heard somewhere. Cut to Airstar and Schoolstar watching tv in the tv room.}
AIRSTAR:What? Criminally insane? Are you kidding?! KIDDING?!
{Cut to the TV. Bubs is being interviewed in the feild.}
BUBS:He once stole my engine! He's criminally INSANE IN THE MINBRAIN!
{Cut bacl to Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:Oh, get over it!
{Cut to Strong Bad on TV.}
STRONG BAD:He once broke into my house and loudly sang "I'm walkin' on sunshine" by Farmer's Daughter. He's like Chris Knoll on an average Monday.
{Cut back to Airstar.}
AIRSTAR:Oh, this is bullsh-
SCHOOLSTAR:Shhh!
AIRSTAR:Sorry.
{Cut to the KOT in his castle being interviewed.}
KING OF TOWN:I feel I made the right decision. Tommorow he will be sent to a frontier physciatrist. Besides, that boy needs therapy.
STRONG BAD:Laying down on the couch? Well, what does that mean? He's a nut! He's crazy in a coconut! Therapy's not gonna change him in any way.
AIRSTAR:Oh, that's it!
{Airstar picks up the TV. Cut to Marzipan on a bench reading "The FCUSA york times" the TV lands right next to her. It shatters the glass. She looks over at it.}
MARZIPAN:My goodness!
{Cut to Airstar leaning out his blimp's window.}
AIRSTAR:Hi, Marzipan!
{Cut back to Marzipan}
MARZIPAN:Hi?
{Cut to Airstar at his computer.}
AIRSTAR:This is all your fault, 1-Up Cheatachu! Not even the creepy black building that's crippling our neighborhood is as bad as this! You took me into this world, and I can take you out! Hold on.
{Airstar takes out his cellphone and dials "1" after a few seconds,}
AIRSTAR:Hey, Cram? Get on that. Okay, bye.
{He puts it away.}
AIRSTAR:Oh no! Another illegal act! I'm not criminally insane!
THE CHUCK:{Offscreen} Meh?
{Airstar turns around.}
AIRSTAR:WHAAAT?!!!
THE CHUCK:Um, i'll ask later.
AIRSTAR:No, stay. I could use help right now. I have to see Garbachov at that frontier phyciatrist place. She has the same scheudule, just different doctors.
{Homsar44withpie walks in.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Are you kidding? I have a date with this obnoxious little girl from Indiana! She has this baseball bat head and blonde hair and a purple dress...
{Schoolstar walks in.}
SCHOOLSTAR:And I have to read Oliver Twist for this book report at school!
AIRSTAR:Wait, if you guys are here, who's piloting the blimp?
{They all stare at the camera.}
HOMSAR44WITHPIE:Rock, paper, scissors?
AIRSTAR:SOMEONE GO!
{Schoolstar runs off screen. Cut to Airstar in bed, rolling around.}
AIRSTAR:King...criminaly...insanity...
{Cut to his dreams. He wakes up in a mystical forest and sees elves dancing around.}
AIRSTAR:What the crap?
{An elf hops over to him.}
ELF:Hello. My name's Croogla.
AIRSTAR:Hi, Croogla. Where be I?
ELF:This is the mystical forest of fear and doubt.
AIRSTAR:Fear and doubt? But i'm not scared or doubtful.
ELF:Yes you are. And so is he!
{Cut to the Kodak Easyshare ad near a tree.}
KODAK EASYSHARE AD:{Microsoft sam voice} THIS SUCKS. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND.
{Cut to Strong Bad near bush.}
STRONG BAD:How am I gonna be able to have a good Decemberween if I have to pay Sir Bunkley ten thousand dollars?
{Cut to Marzipan near a stick.}
MARZIPAN:Is going out with Homsar44withpie wrong? Oh my gosh, I don't know what to do.
{Cut back to Airstar and Croogla.}
CROOGLA:See?
AIRSTAR:Well...um...
{Airstar wakes up. Cut to him in bed waking up in the morning.}
AIRSTAR:AHHH! Man...
{Cut to Airstar in a waiting room looking at "Person who lives in a blimp who wants to be killed by a girl with green hair and has recently been divorced by an insane woman you met in a French prison and has recently been declared criminally insane's Life"}
AIRSTAR:They make him specific these days.
{Cut to Strong Bad reading "Mexican wrestler who has his own email show on Mondays that currently owes his rich uncle 10,00 dollars after asking that rich uncle to loan him 10,00 dollars to get out of a 10,00 dollar debt and also hates a no armed whitey who is unintelligent's Life"}
STRONG BAD:Tell me about it.
{Cut back to Airstar.}
BUBS:{Offscreen} Strong Bad?
AIRSTAR:Yes?
BUBS:Come in!
{Cut to Airstar lying down on a couch while Bubs, who has a pipe and a fake beard writes things down.}
BUBS:So you're a criminal nutjob?
AIRSTAR:No! I'm not! I'm just...
BUBS:A nutcase?
AIRSTAR:No a-
BUBS:Crazy person!
AIRSTAR:NO A-
BUBS:YOU'RE A NUT! CRAZY IN A COCONUT!
{Cut to Darknight and Water Bad and Aquacheat all in orange jumpsuits. Aquacheat is in a fishbowl on wheels.}
DARKNIGHT:We need to find some way to get out of jail and kill Airstar!
AQUACHEAT:Meh meh mehmeh meh!
DARKNIGHT:You're a genius, Aquacheat! You deserve a shorter sentence!
AQUACHEAT:Meh...
WATER BAD:But don't they watch?
DARKNIGHT:We'll find a way around that...
{Cut to MikeControl sitting in a director's seat holding a transcript.}
MIKECONTROL:Okay, this is the part where Darknight gets his one call, and he distracts the policeman by saying, "Look! There's a-"
{An emo looking guy whispers something into his ear.}
MIKECONTROL:You cut that out because it would be frowned upon by the general audience? Dang. Umm...well...while we do this...let's credit some of the behind the scenes people you don't know about. I am the main writer and director.
{Cut to a guy with blonde hair and glasses with a moustache.}
ESNA RYBNE:I'm another writer. I write the cliche' parts.
{Cut to a guy with white hair and a full red beard.}
LIAM REDBEARD:I'm the other writer! Arrg! I write the serious parts! Arrg!
{Cut to an emo looking guy}
BILLY STINKWATER:I'm the editor. Whatever...
{Cut to the ninja.}
THE NINJA:I'm another writer. I write the more actiony stuff.
{Cut to four cameramen.}
CAMERAMAN 1:Hey.
CAMERAMAN 2:Hello.
CAMERAMAN 3:What's going on?
CAMERAMAN 4:Why hello there, young man or woman!
{Cut to Darknight,Water Bad and Aquacheat climbing out of a sewage pipe at night.}
DARKNIGHT:We got out! Hooray! Where's that guy we paid?
{Strong Sad comes up to them holding onto a unicorn.}
STRONG SAD:Here you go.
DARKNIGHT:What's this?
STRONG SAD:A unicorn.
DARKNIGHT:We're supposed to be prison escapees! Not fairies...
STRONG SAD:Well it's the only thing I could get. Besides, it's a good disguise, isn't it? Who would expect a prison escapee riding a unicorn?
DARKNIGHT:Yeah, I guess. What time is it?
STRONG SAD:{He holds up a golden watch.} 10:30 pm.
DARKNIGHT:Alright, we better be on our way. Airstar Flyer, I'm gonna kill you!
{Cut to the KOT.}
KOT:That boy needs therapy.
{Cut to Strong Homsar.}
HOMSAR:Tico semisey!
{Cut to KOT}
KOT:That boy needs therapy.
{Homsar.}
HOMSAR:Tico semisey!
{KOT}
KOT:That boy needs therapy.
{Cut to Strong Bad.}
STRONG BAD:Lying down on the couch? Well, what does that mean? He's a nut!
{It echoes "He's a nut" once.}
STRONG BAD:He's crazy in a coconut! What does that mean?
{KOT.}
KOT:That boy needs therapy.
{Cut to Darknight and the others on the unicorn.}
DARKNIGHT:I'm gonna kill you!
{KOT.}
KOT:That b-b-b-boy needs therapy.
{Darknight.}
DARKNIGHT:Airstar, what's happened to you? And now that i'm free...
{Cut to KOT}
KOT:That boy needs therapy.
{Cut to Airstar and Bubs in the office talking.}
AIRSTAR:I was in another world, filled with-
{Cut to Strong Sad and Pom Pom talking at the bar.}
STRONG SAD:20,000 girls.
{Cut to the unicorn galloping while music with the tune of "Duh-duhdA-OOOH!-Du-dah-dah!" plays in the background.}
KOT'S VOICE:Frontier physciatrist!
SINGERS:OHH!!-A!
KOT'S VOICE:F-F-F-F-Frontier physciatrist!
{Cut to Homestar talking to Pom-Pom in the bar.}
HOMESTAR:I pwomised my giwlfwiend i'd leawn to play the violin.
{"Violin" echoes thrice. Afterwards, violins start playing to this tune "Duh-duh-duh-duddana-duh-duh-duh-duddana" while it cuts to the unicorn galloping.}
KOT'S VOICE':Frontier physciatrist!
{The unicron starts naying. All music stops. Cut to Airstar in the computer room talking to Schoolstar.}
AIRSTAR:So they said I was mentally healthy and sent me back home. That 1-Up Cheatachu will pay. Someday...
{Airstar gets up and comes back with an X66X66 cola in his "hand".}
AIRSTAR:Anyway,
{Darknight comes in on a unicorn.}
DARKNIGHT:Prepare to die!
WATER BAD:Yeah!
AQUACHEAT:Meh!
AIRSTAR:What the crap?!
{The unicorn jumps to Airstar and his horn barely misses his head. The unicorn flies to the ground, making the blimp start to deflate.}
ALL:AHHH!!!
{Cut to Marzipan on the bench reading the "Local Newspapes" The blimp lands right next to the bench. Homestar and Bubs, acting as policemen, run to arrest Darknight.}
DARKNIGHT:Never!
{He gets away on the unicorn. Water Bad and Aquacheat get arrested.}
HOMESTAR:You have the left to shut up, anything you speak or smell can and grace be against you in the court of low. How'd I do?
BUBS:Bad.
HOMESTAR:Cwap.
{They take them away.}
MARZIPAN:I need to stop sitting at this bench.
{O.J. Simpson runs by her.}
MARZIPAN:I really do.
{The paper comes down.}
