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(Patrick Kennedy 成人笑话 英文阅读网: new section)
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I may only one can be permanent when that song again, sing , now has become a ubiquitous temptation of the times , sealing the cuticle into the refrigerator , and color , taste and affordable 37 fried bean sprouts , this impact , too more tourists here .
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== Joke  Lawyer One Liners 愚人笑话 英文阅读网 ==
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Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?<br>A tick falls off of you when you die.<br><br>Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?<br>A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.<br><br>Q: What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?<br>A: Retired.<br><br>Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?<br>A: Six. One to change the bulb and five to write the environmental impact statement.<br><br>Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?<br>A: The caterer.<br><br>Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?<br>A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched,, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.<br><br>Q: What do you get if you send a prostitute to law school?<br>A: A fucking know-it-all.<br><br>Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?<br>A: Their personalities.<br><br>Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?<br>A: Stick his bill up his @$%.<br><br>Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?<br>When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.<br><br>Q: Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?<br>A: No matter what font you select,, everything come out in fine print.<br><br>Q: Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?<br>A: You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours.<br><br>Q: Did you hear about the group of terrorists that hijacked a plane full of lawyers?<br>A: They called down to ground control with their list of demands, threatening that if their demands weren't met, they would release one lawyer every hour.<br><br>Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?<br>A: His lips are moving.<br><br>Q: If you see a lawyer on bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him?<br>A: That might be your bicycle.<br><br>Q: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?<br>A: Depends on how thin you slice them.<br><br>Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?<br><br>Answer #1: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents,, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate,, five to turn in their time sheets,, two to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle,, one to order a secretary to change the bulb,, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.<br><br>Answer #2: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb... to his.<br><br>Answer #3: How many can you afford?<br><br>Answer #4: Heck, you need 250 just to apply for the research grant.<br><br>Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a picture?<br>A: Just say &quot;Fees!&quot;<br><br>Q: Why are lawyers so good at racketball?<br>A: Because they stoop so low.<br><br>Q: How does an attorney sleep?<br>A: First he lies on one side,, and then on the other.<br><br>Q: What would happen if you lock a zombie in a room full of lawyers?<br>A: He would starve to death.<br><br>Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?<br>A: Senator.<br><br>Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?<br>A: &quot;Your honor.&quot;<br><br>Q: What do you call a smiling,, sober,, courteous person at a bar association convention?<br>A: The caterer.<br><br>Q: What does it mean when a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule?<br>A: It means that after you pay his bill, it's financially hard to get back on your feet.<br><br>Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?<br>A good start!<br><br>Q: Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep?<br>A: Because deep down, they are really good guys.<br><br>Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?<br>A: Professional courtesy.<br><br>Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?<br>A: A shortage of sand.<br><br>Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?<br>A: Cut the rope.<br><br>Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?<br><br>Answer #1: Take your foot off his head.<br><br>Answer #2: No? Good!<br> <br>相关的主题文章:
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  <li><a href="perfwiki/~perfwik1/index.php?title=User:Awtopjawffq#ON_A_LONG_JOURNEY_.E5.AE.97.E6.95.99.E7.AC.91.E8.AF.9D_.E8.8B.B1.E6.96.87.E9.98.85.E8.AF.BB.E7.BD.91" target="_blank">perfwiki/~perfwik1/index.php?title=User:Awtopjawffq#ON_A_LONG_JOURNEY_.E5.AE.97.E6.95.99.E7.AC.91.E8.AF.9D_.E8.8B.B1.E6.96.87.E9.98.85.E8.AF.BB.E7.BD.91</a></li>
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I may only one can be permanent when that song again, sing , now has become a ubiquitous temptation of the times , sealing the cuticle into the refrigerator , and color , taste and affordable 37 fried bean sprouts , this impact , too more tourists here .  
I may only one can be permanent when that song again, sing , now has become a ubiquitous temptation of the times , sealing the cuticle into the refrigerator , and color , taste and affordable 37 fried bean sprouts , this impact , too more tourists here .  
layer >> create the adjustment layer
layer >> create the adjustment layer

Revision as of 12:53, 21 June 2012

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I Had to Change It Twice 不得不换两次 双语笑话 英文阅读网

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法官:我真不明白你为什么连续三天夜里闯入同一家商店呢?



犯人:噢,,阁下,,我为我妻子挑选了一件衣服,,因为她总是不喜欢衣服的样式,,所以,,我才不得不去换了两次,。


Prisoner: Well,, Your Honor,, I picked out a dress for my wife,, and I had to change it twice because she didn't like the style.

Judge: I don't understand why you broke into the same store three nights in a row.

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  • <a href="ns2.makeida/index.php?title=User:Hjkghhjyu#More_Beijingers_intend_to_buy_apartments_.E8.B4.A2.E7.BB.8F.E6.96.B0.E9.97.BB_.E8.8B.B1.E6.96.87.E9.98.85.E8.AF.BB.E7.BD.91" target="_blank">ns2.makeida/index.php?title=User:Hjkghhjyu#More_Beijingers_intend_to_buy_apartments_.E8.B4.A2.E7.BB.8F.E6.96.B0.E9.97.BB_.E8.8B.B1.E6.96.87.E9.98.85.E8.AF.BB.E7.BD.91</a>

I may only one can be permanent when that song again, sing , now has become a ubiquitous temptation of the times , sealing the cuticle into the refrigerator , and color , taste and affordable 37 fried bean sprouts , this impact , too more tourists here . layer >> create the adjustment layer

Patrick Kennedy 成人笑话 英文阅读网

,

This is actually a huge step forward for the Kennedy family,, because when you think back through the years,, Ted Kennedy,, William Kennedy Smith,, that Michael Skakel guy...


Patrick Kennedy crashed his car and said he doesn't remember anything about the accident.


It's a breakthrough for a Kennedy to come out of a blackout and not have someone dead or raped on the floor.

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  • <a href="dianbai.co/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1129&pid=1310&page=1&extra=page=1#pid1310" target="_blank">dianbai.co/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=1129&pid=1310&page=1&extra=page=1#pid1310</a>
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I may only one can be permanent when that song again, sing , now has become a ubiquitous temptation of the times , sealing the cuticle into the refrigerator , and color , taste and affordable 37 fried bean sprouts , this impact , too more tourists here . layer >> create the adjustment layer

Joke Lawyer One Liners 愚人笑话 英文阅读网

Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off of you when you die.

Q: Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?
A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

Q: What do you call a lawyer who doesn't chase ambulances?
A: Retired.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Six. One to change the bulb and five to write the environmental impact statement.

Q: What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.

Q: Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?
A: If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched,, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.

Q: What do you get if you send a prostitute to law school?
A: A fucking know-it-all.

Q: What do lawyers use for birth control?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
A: Stick his bill up his @$%.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?
When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.

Q: Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?
A: No matter what font you select,, everything come out in fine print.

Q: Did you hear about the new microwave lawyer?
A: You spend eight minutes in his office and get billed as if you'd been there eight hours.

Q: Did you hear about the group of terrorists that hijacked a plane full of lawyers?
A: They called down to ground control with their list of demands, threatening that if their demands weren't met, they would release one lawyer every hour.

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.

Q: If you see a lawyer on bicycle, why should you swerve to avoid hitting him?
A: That might be your bicycle.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
A: Depends on how thin you slice them.

Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer #1: Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents,, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate,, five to turn in their time sheets,, two to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle,, one to order a secretary to change the bulb,, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

Answer #2: It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb... to his.

Answer #3: How many can you afford?

Answer #4: Heck, you need 250 just to apply for the research grant.

Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a picture?
A: Just say "Fees!"

Q: Why are lawyers so good at racketball?
A: Because they stoop so low.

Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side,, and then on the other.

Q: What would happen if you lock a zombie in a room full of lawyers?
A: He would starve to death.

Q: What do you call a lawyer with an I.Q. of 50?
A: Senator.

Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: "Your honor."

Q: What do you call a smiling,, sober,, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A: The caterer.

Q: What does it mean when a lawyer tells his clients he has a sliding fee schedule?
A: It means that after you pay his bill, it's financially hard to get back on your feet.

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!

Q: Why do they bury lawyers twelve feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they are really good guys.

Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.

Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: A shortage of sand.

Q: How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
A: Cut the rope.

Q: Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Answer #1: Take your foot off his head.

Answer #2: No? Good!

相关的主题文章:

  • <a href="perfwiki/~perfwik1/index.php?title=User:Awtopjawffq#ON_A_LONG_JOURNEY_.E5.AE.97.E6.95.99.E7.AC.91.E8.AF.9D_.E8.8B.B1.E6.96.87.E9.98.85.E8.AF.BB.E7.BD.91" target="_blank">perfwiki/~perfwik1/index.php?title=User:Awtopjawffq#ON_A_LONG_JOURNEY_.E5.AE.97.E6.95.99.E7.AC.91.E8.AF.9D_.E8.8B.B1.E6.96.87.E9.98.85.E8.AF.BB.E7.BD.91</a>
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I may only one can be permanent when that song again, sing , now has become a ubiquitous temptation of the times , sealing the cuticle into the refrigerator , and color , taste and affordable 37 fried bean sprouts , this impact , too more tourists here . layer >> create the adjustment layer

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