Scaia
From The Extended Group
Eric Scaia (usually known simply as "Scaia") is a math teacher at Shorewood High School.
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Background
Many extended group members, including Brett, Chris, Gavin, Carson, Jamie, Lukas and Terry had classes under Scaia's supervision during the latter half of high school. Most came away with similar impressions of Scaia as a highly absurd character among Shorewood faculty, due to his humble, southern mannerisms, possession of Family Guy episodes on his school computer, and tendency to "give up" on unruly class rooms by burying his face with his hand in quiet frustration. Other comical mannerisms include his "deer in the headlights" facial expression in which the forlorn math teacher would cartoonishly bug his eyes out while simultaneously retract his chin into his neck. He loves statistics and his wife from far far away! He also has a brother that is not nearly as popular in the United States. However in his adopted country of New Zealand he is idolized for his loud voice and ability to attract a crowd. He is also the most successful refrigeration engineer in the family. Despite the success of the brothers their parents describe them only as "extreme disappointments". This can only be attributed to jealousy.
Popular Culture
Several rumors were espoused as to Scaia's mysterious origins, the most popular of which held that he was an aspiring math prodigy who left Oklahoma for a teaching career in Seattle, only to be beaten down by the apathy and ridiculous gimmickry of Shorewood students. A second, less tenable explanation, described Scaia as a Colonel Tom Parker-like character who drank sarsaparilla-flavored whiskey and sang folk songs with his acoustic guitar. The latter characterization was popularized by Scaia's increasingly eccentric growth of facial hair and acquisition of motorcycle in 2003. Lesser known rumors suggest that Scaia did not own a vehicle of any sort and would simply run from place to place, no matter how far away. On a trip to Camp Casey by Lukas, Gavin, and Terry in early 2003, it was even postulated that it would not be out of the question for Scaia to show up attempting to eat the bait out of the crude rabbit-trap constructed by the group members. According to legend, when discovered, Scaia would look surprised and begin jogging away at a moderate pace, and arrive in class the next day covered in sweat and completely out of breath. (after having jogged 75 miles the previous night). Scaia is also known to bring out an old Nintendo Entertainment System at the end of the school year, where he tries to emphasize his coolness and his students play Contra.
An attempted wikipedia article (which was quickly deleted) described Scaia as "a fictitious, villainous character of Shoreline campfire lore."
Anecdotes
- During the early days of sophomore year, it was widely known that Scaia was really poor becuase he had just graduated from college. REALLY poor. During the school year he made several references to how he had to buy lunch using change. However, the students did not always know this. At one point during second period Math Analysis, Scaia remarked how that becuase of a hole in an end of his mattress he had to sleep curled up on his bed as to keep his feet dry. This sounded so ridiculous that the class erupted in laughter. Unfortunately, Scaia was not kidding and the class then fell silent.
Trivia
- It was common practice throughout high school to shout "Scaia!!!" when the passing the bewildered math teacher in the halls
- There were numerous attempts to "crack" Scaia by disregarding his lectures by virtue of his being an "Okie"
- Classes held in the computer lab were famously disastrous, and led to several outbursts during which Scaia would angrily explain that we were "not there to rate pictures on MSN Hot or Not."
- Once tackled Griffin Pulliam during the Shorewood Staff/Student Ultimate Frisbee game and did not apologize afterward.
- When Scaia was nominated as "Spotlight Teacher of the Month", the students in Scaia's class were asked to fill out a questionairre about him, including the question "What Celebrity Does Scaia Remind You Of?" Popular answers included Queen Latifah and Gary Ridgeway. Scaia proceeded to get upset, moreso when his fellow teachers started to tease him about the answers.
