Mr. Amsel

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Mr. Amsel was a teacher at Shorewood High School who assumed the teaching duties for freshmen science classes in the 1999-2000 school year after the original teacher left under undisclosed circumstances in the middle of the first semester. He immediately received unusual attention and talk among the students due to his right hand, which was severely deformed. Though his stay was short, his legacy among his students remains long.


Contents

The Claw

Mr. Amsel's noticeably deformed right hand was one of the first things that students noticed about him, and he did not hesitate to explain it's origins. Though the exact tale has been lost to time, it is known that he had been waterskiing on a lake. In an act of youthful bravado, he attempted to glide to a stop right next to a pier, but misjudged his distance from the pier in the process. His whole forearm caught on a protruding nail and was ripped open. The healing process was apparently complicated by a case of Gangrene while Mr. Amsel was in the hospital recovering. Terry Lee was credited with being the first to describe him as the "Crabman," though a claim for shared credit has been proposed.

Mr. Amsel as Professional Wrestler

In ninth grade, Terry, Matt Gamber, and Matt Kristek became increasingly interested in Japanese Pro Wrestling. Consequently, a link was established between Mr. Amsel and Michinoku Pro wrestler Gran Naniwa, who wrestled with a crab-themed gimmick and often wore oversized foam crab hands to the ring. References were also made to how Mr. Amsel might use his hand as part of a submission move if he was a professional wrestler, perhaps similiar to Mankind's "Mandible Claw."

Teaching Style

Mr. Amsel was an above-average teacher especially interested in the concepts of flight and engineering. His classroom environment was at times overly laissez-faire, letting the students work on packets in small groups while listening to music. This situation let to an incident where Matt Gamber was over-stimulated to the point where he would not stop talking during the designated work time, leading an increasingly frustrated Terry Lee to tell him angrily, "Just shut up already!"

Relationship with Students

Mr. Amsel's relationships with his students varied depending on who they were. He could be very friendly and accomodating with students who were intelligent or who added to class discussions. He also seemed to have a good opinion of so-called "class clowns." On the other hand, he could be almost antagonistic with certain kinds of girls and people who were generally less intelligent. There are two notable instances which illustrate this divide.

  • One day after school several students came to Mr. Amself to discuss the grades they received on projects. While discussing this, Caitlin Luebbe and another girl came into the class and asked to use the phone. Mr. Amsel told them that they couldn't, and when they continued to ask he told Caitlin Luebbe that she looked like a "beer-slut" and that she and her friend could leave and find a pay phone.
  • On another occasion, Stacy Smith had gone to the tanning salon the day before class and had fallen asleep in the bed, earning herself a really bad sunburn. In Mr. Amsel's class she was making a lot of noise on amount of the pain she was in and Matt Gamber started teasing her about it. She became more distressed and complained to Mr. Amsel. Mr. Amsel's reaction was to tell her not to make so much noise herself. Matt continued to tease her (as he often did) and once again she protested to Mr. Amsel. He grew angry and told her that she had to go outside the classroom and stay there for the rest of the period. She left, upset, and while outside kept looking in through the window in the door. She soon stopped this because everytime she did, Matt would point at her and laugh.

While Mr. Amsel was undoubtedly fairer to some of his students (like the ones reading this article) than others, he was not universally fair to them. There were many complaints from all about his at-times harsh grading procedures and sometimes arbitrary decisions. It is generally understood that he was not asked to teach again at Shorewood after the 1999-2000 school year because of his attitude towards students.

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